My Heart is Heavy
by Mikigotagun
Summary: When Edwards wife is tragically killed on the other side. His depression and sorrow forces Envy and Al to come up with a plan to send Ed, His kids and Al back to the Amestrian side. But what will happen when Edward comes face to face with the women who looks like his dead wife.
1. Chapter 1

AN: A tragic story of love lost, the pain of dealing with loss and coming face to face with the person who looks like the person you lost. Takes place after Conquer of Shambala when Ed and Al both ended up on the other side of the gate.

My heart is heavy

( Past Background)

It had been seventeen years since Ed and Al had closed the gate leading to their world. Traveling with Noah the boys went on a massive search for the uranium bomb that had slipped through their hands years earlier. But with no success the brothers had decided to expand their search to other countries. They had left Noah with a clan of gypsies as they boarded a boat to the United States in 1922. There Edward ran into his future wife Windy Rockbell, she was the spitting image of Winry. He fell head over heels for her in just a few months and the two were married. After a year their son was born in 1924 and Edward was on cloud nine as he held his first born Steven for the first time. After Steven they had three girls, Nina, Caroline and his youngest Melissa. He was the proudest father and husband and anyone who looked at him could see that. Before the girls were born the family had moved back to London in 1925 while Windy was pregnant with Nina.

Al became the perfect uncle and brother in law always there to help Windy with the kids and Edward when he went off on one of his crazy ventures. Windy had always tried to understand Edward's thinking and listened to his and Al's stories about their world but she never could believe that they were from another world. But she knew deep in her heart and her mind that there was something different about the brothers. They were very educated in science and formulas of different materials. Their brains worked like no other people she had ever met and the way they spoke about formulas and equations of different components made her head hurt as she tried to keep up with them. They were happy and that's all that mattered to her she loved her husband and her children. But she really didn't understand why they lived in a castle with a giant serpent in the dungeon? Yes, Edward and Al had rescued Envy from the Nazis and Edward had bought a castle like home so that he would have his own space and he wouldn't be near the children till they could explain things to them. Envy had been very difficult for the first five months. Until the day Edward told him "YOUR FAMILY! And even though I don't like the way things worked out that's the way it is." They both realized after talking that they both had held a heavy dislike towards their father. Edward apologized to Envy and told him if he'd had known that he was his half-brother things would have been different. Envy had opened up to Edward and told him he had always wanted a family but his mother Dante wasn't one for motherly comfort and she had just used him after he became a homunculus. He had begun to hate Edward and Al because he thought their father had been with them. Then he found out he had left when the boys were young "So he ran out on all of us Pipsqueak." They both came to the conclusion after hearing Hohenheim that day before he crushed himself with Envy's jaws that their father had regretted everything that had happened. Windy had overheard their conversation that day and though she was quite surprised the serpent could talk she was more surprised to hear their conversation. As she walked into the dungeon and stood before both of them "S-So he's your other brother Edward?" Edward shook his head yes as he and Envy explained all that they had been through in their lives. Breaking into tears she realized that all three brothers had missed out on a family life and she had made up her mind that she was going to make their lives the best ever from now on.

She spent an hour a day coming down and visiting with Envy and reading him novels about romance and novels by Shakespeare which only made his head hurt because he didn't understand the language or the story line till she broke it down for him at the end. But he enjoyed Edward's wife taking the time to include him in the family. He also remembered Winry Edward's other girly friend he had seen him with in Amestris. Noticing that the two were like night and day but he had figured that was one reason Edward had fallen for Windy so fast.

(Present Day)

The year was 1938 as Edward stood there staring at the headstone of his beloved wife Windy. He stared at it and kept repeating "I'm sorry." With his head bandaged and his left arm in a sling he knew this was his fault. Driving that day he hadn't been paying attention and he didn't see the truck that ran the stop sign and slammed into Windy's side of the car. The car had flipped throwing him from it and trapping her under it. He could never forget the sound of the metal crashing and her screams. It happened one week ago today and he had just got out of the hospital in time for the funeral. Turning his head and looking at his four children he sighed thinking they would never forgive him. But his son walked over "Come on dad we need to get you home" putting his arm around his father. Now fifteen Steven was the spitting image of Edward at that age with the attitude to match. Nina now fourteen knew her father was in shock and it took her and her brother to get him to the car. Caroline now nine picked up three year old Melissa and walked next to her uncle Al as they got into the car. His head was slumped down the whole way home as his long bangs hid his distraught face from everyone. When they reached the house Edward got out and walked directly to his room while Al went to talk to Envy. Envy knew his brother was in great pain because he knew how much the pipsqueak loved her and he felt so helpless he couldn't help Edward deal with the pain. He just thanked God that alchemy couldn't work in this world because he feared Edward would try the unthinkable as grief stricken as he was.

Feeling their brother needed time to deal with his grief Al and Envy both took on tasks of raising Edward's kids for the next month. The kids had learned about their Uncle the serpent from their mother and she had explained the difficulties the boys had when they were younger. She had always told the kids "Your friends would be so jealous to know your uncle is a great serpent with great power." The kids became infatuated with uncle Envy from then on. He had also enjoyed their company when they came down to visit him. Now instead of being in the dark his dungeon was lit up with light so he didn't scare his nieces and nephew when they came to visit him. His power over the years was slowly fading though due to not having red stones to digest and he knew it was just a matter of time before he joined their father on the other side.

Al entered the dungeon as Envy turned from the window he had been staring out watching Edward walk to the door "How's the pipsqueak doing?" Al slumped down in the chair in the corner "Not very well. I don't know if he'll ever recover from this. He blames himself and I keep telling him there was nothing he could have done even if he would have seen the truck." Al head lowered "It was just going too fast." Envy's head dropped thinking of the pain his brother was in "I'm sorry Al. He seems so distraught and sad and his eyes have lost that golden glow they used to have when he smiled." As Al and Envy sat there and discussed Edward the children were trying to figure out a way to bring their father out of his depression.

"We have to step in and help him now" Steven said as he turned to his sisters "He needs us to remind him of the things that need to be done." Nina lowered her head and said softly "You mean the things mom used to do."

"Yes" Steven smiled slightly as he walked over to his sisters picking up Melissa he sat down and put her on his lap "Dad is literally destroyed over this and it's up to us to help him through it. Yes we lost our mother but he lost the only person he ever loved and made us with." Melissa looked up and smiled with her big blue sapphire eyes "I want to see Daddy." She was the youngest and she didn't understand what was going on but she knew her daddy wasn't the same as he was a week ago and she knew her mommy was gone. "Where's DADDY!" she jumped down and went running upstairs as Steven ran after her "DADDY! DADDY!" Edward's bedroom door swung open and he stepped into the hall seeing his young daughter running for him he bent down and scooped her up in his right arm gave his son a wink and turned and walked back in his room and shut the door. Steven knew his father would take care of her but he also knew his father needed time to grieve but his little sister was stubborn like him and if she wanted to be with her daddy that's where she would be.

Al came back upstairs as Steven decided to go down and talk to his Uncle Envy. Talking to Envy Steven had learned a lot about his dad and Uncle Al and what they used to be. Great alchemists and fighters is what Envy told him he also told him his father never gave up on a fight he would fight till the end or until he had technical difficulties with his arm or was knocked unconscious. He had explained to Steven how his father lost his limbs and Al lost his whole body. Ed and Al never really talked about their past to the kids it was something they thought was over and done with now that they were on the other side of the gate. But it was something Envy could share with Steven and Edward's daughters about their father and other Uncle.

"Your father was happy in Amestris. Although after he met your mother he was happier here. But I don't think this is the best place for him anymore. He's lost the love of his life and I think he needs to go home and be with the only other family he has." Steven thought his father and Uncles were the only family they had this was news to him about more family "What do you mean other family?" Envy grinned "I see he never told you about the girl who looks just like your mother and the old lady." Steven was confused "What are you talking about Uncle?" So Envy began to tell Steven about Winry and Pinako and how much they meant to Edward and Al. Grinning slightly wider Envy bent down near Steven "There is a way to send you all back to Amestris and maybe your father's other girly friend can help him. Plus I'm tired of seeing him with that those shabby limbs or whatever their called. He used to sport the best automail made by his girly friend. She was the best at what she did. She made your father's especially strong and durable. He was hard to fight at times."

As Envy explained to Steven about alchemy and that using him they could open a portal to go back to Ed and Al's beloved home Steven listened to Envy intensely. He knew his father wouldn't go for it because that would mean Envy would have to die. So with this information he went to his uncle Al who as soon as he started talking Al shut him down quickly.

A few months had past and Edward had just gotten worse slipping into a deep depression. He went through the motions of the day but at night everyone could hear his pain in his screams of terror and his nightmares. He was only getting worse and Al was at his whits end. Thinking about it more after talking to Envy Al realized that maybe…just maybe taking Edward back to Amestris would help him deal with the loss he felt.


	2. MHIH chap2

AN: I wanted to give Envy some sense of humanity in this story since he's been living with Edward and his family for so long.

"I'm tired,

I'm Worn,

My Heart is heavy

From the work it takes to keep on breathing

I've made mistakes I've let my hope fail,

My soul feels crushed from the weight of this world

And I know that you can give me rest so I cry out

With all that I have left"

My Heart is Heavy chap.2

Later that night Envy and Al were in the dungeon talking when Edward walked in. Envy looked at his younger sibling and feelings of pain and hurt clouded his mind. He had never felt these feelings before and he had missed the last months of Edward's wife coming to read to him. He never really knew how much he had enjoyed it till she wasn't there to do it anymore. As Edward tried to put up a good front for his brother's they knew deep inside he was crushed beyond repair. His demeanor had changed from happy go lucky to sad and pathetic and Envy couldn't stand seeing the once vibrant Fullmetal alchemist turn into this puddle of pathetic mess that was in front of him now. He had never felt love but Edward's wife had read those books to him and if love was anything like what was in those books he could relate to Edward's feelings.

As Edward walked over he had a book in his hands as he sat at Envy's tail. Slowly his gaze came up and he said softly "Windy was reading this to you and you weren't finished yet. There are still two chapters left so I'll read them to you." Envy's heart sank as Edward opened the book and began to read out loud to him. Al sat back and listened also as their brother chocked on a few parts that were of a happy couple with a happy ending. Tears streaming down his cheeks he finished the book and closed it then slightly looked up feeling empty and numb Edward laid against Envy's tail. As the brothers talked Edward's eyes began to slowly droop as he drifted off from exhaustion. Al turned and slightly smiled "He's so exhausted I'll wake him and put him to bed."

Envy's head shot up "NO! leave him here. I'll watch over him tonight you need sleep too my brother. You're just as exhausted as he is." Curling his tail around Edward Al reached for a blanket and covered him up. Giving Envy one last look "You're sure he can be a handful sometimes." Envy grinned "Yes I'll just strangle him with my tail if he gets to out of hand." Looking solemnly back to Edward Envy smiled a toothy serpent smile "Just joking he'll be fine here with me." Al chuckled at the sight of the great green serpent who at one time had been their enemy but was now their brother wrap himself around Edward and lay his head next to his. Al knew Envy had become part of the family and even though he didn't know how to show or feel emotions Al knew he was grieving in his own way.

A few hours later Envy was awoken by the sounds of faint cries and then he felt Edward thrashing around in the circle of his body. Raising his head and looking down to Edward he saw the tears streaming from his eyes as he thrashed and called Windy's name. Envy could only watch as Edward relived this turmoil of the accident. He knew Ed blamed himself but Al was right there was nothing Ed could have done to save her. Exhaustion had set into Edward as the hours went on and Envy could only give his brother comfort by tightening his body around him and making him feel safe as his thrashing about slowed and he curled more into Envy tail. "Sleep my brother. I don't know the pain you feel but I assure you I will find a way to take that pain away in time. You and your family have brought me great happiness and I wish we could have been brothers from the start. I'm sorry for ever trying to cause you pain because if this is what pain does to you I would never want to inflict it on you. We were enemies once and you still brought me into your life and made me feel loved. That is what I want for you Edward is to feel love again and I swear I'll figure out a way for you to be happy again." Envy felt a tear roll down his serpent cheek and never in his existence had he ever cried or felt such emotion as he felt right there at that moment talking to his sleeping brother. He remembered how Edward used to always watch out for Al and protect him. Now he was the oldest and Edward was the younger brother and Envy had this strange feeling of wanting to protect Edward, Al and the children. He figured the only way to do that was to send the Pipsqueak back to Amestis where he had friends to help him through this. Edward staying in this world was not an option Envy was up to arguing about if Edward were to stay he would just fall deeper into depression and that's one thing that this homunculus didn't want to see. His feelings for his new found family had grown strong over these past seventeen years and it was going to be over his dead body that they would all suffer. Sitting there holding Edward that night and listening to his cries in his sleep Envy felt a bond with Edward that he had never felt before.

The next morning Edward opened his eyes to find Envy staring out the window of the dungeon and as he turned to look at his brother who just woke up his head lowered "You had quite the night my brother." Edward shook his head slowly "I'm sorry did I keep you awake." Feeling a slight sadness Envy looked at him "No I was just glad I could be there for you." Edward had noticed that Envy had started referring to feelings the past few years and he tried to teach him about them. So standing up he walked over to the window and stared out to. "You know I honestly don't understand what happened that day. Everything was going so well then-" His head lowered and Envy saw the tears began to flow again "Then the next thing I knew my whole world came crashing down." Edward had held his wife in his arms as she passed at the crash site. He felt her last breath leave her body and she had made him promise her that if he could get back to his own home that he would take the children to show them this world where all the missiles, rockets and destruction had never existed.

He felt a heaviness weighing on his heart as he leaned against Envy "Don't worry my brother everything will be alright." Envy told him as he made his mind up right then and there that he was going to talk to Al about his plan. He was going to give his own life up so that Al could open the gate and take the pipsqueak, the brother he'd grown to love, the one who saved him and took him in and taught him the ways of a human even though he was a serpent. He was going to give the life he had left for Ed and Al to take Ed's children and go home. That was going to be his greatest sacrifice for the family he'd grown to love. But he knew the pipsqueak would be against the whole idea that's why he needed to talk to Al.

A few nights later Al came to the dungeon to talk with Envy and he decided to tell Al his plan. As they discussed Edwards worsening spiral downward Envy broached the subject "Why not take him home Al? Get him away from this world if you don't he'll just dwell on the accident. He needs time to heal and you and I both know who can help him with that. She was the only other person that could get through to him when you couldn't and being around her might help ease the pain for him." Al thought for a moment then looked at Envy seriously "Or it would drive him completely over the edge because she looks just like her."

Envy sighed as he tried to explain "But she's not her and Edward would know that. Winry and Windy were two completely different people but Winry's strong will and straight talk to Edward might just help him." Al lowered his head then turned his eyes towards Envy "Even if I wanted to take him back I couldn't open the gate." Envy moved over next to Al "That's where you're wrong." Al looked up at him confused then realizing what Envy was saying his eyes widened "NO! We are not doing that!" Envy got frustrated "I'm dying anyway it's just a matter of time. SO take my life and take our brother home you imbecile." Al sat there and heard Envy out but in his heart he knew Ed would be furious but the points Envy made were realistic. If Edward stayed on this side his spirit would never have a chance to heal and his heart would just close off to everybody.

Not wanting to give Envy an answer at this particular time Al sat forward "Alright I understand what you're saying but still it's a hard decision. You're both my brother's and I've grown to love you just as much as Ed."

"Yes but you and Edward have a bond stronger than any of us could ever have so I'll make the decision for you. Take my life it's all I have to give him, the life and sanity he deserves. Take him back and let everyone help him be the person he once was. That is the only way I will be truly at rest I don't want to die a worthless life when I can give him back what he lost." Leaning into Al's face Envy had a look in his eyes that Al had never seen. It was a pleading look a look of serenity and he actually looked at peace when he was saying all this. Al sighed as he stood up "I'll keep it in mind and let's give it a few more weeks. School starts soon and he'll be going back to work. He loves the kids he teaches and maybe that will help."

Turning Envy stared out the window "You humans make no sense to me. I'm giving you a way brother and you know as well as I that the kids he teaches are not going to make a difference with the loss he feels. It's been two months and a few more weeks will not make a difference. " Al stood there and knew Envy was right he also noticed that over these past years he had been with them he had gotten more in touch with his feelings than any of them ever noticed.

Leaving the dungeon and walking upstairs Al stopped noticing Edward asleep on the couch. He was moving his head side to side and talking in his sleep and all he kept saying was "I'm sorry Windy. I'm sorry." Al's heart broke for his brother at that moment and he realized Ed needed something more than time to heal. Turning around and descending the stairs again he walked up behind Envy "Alright I will agree to it but know this brother. I hold a great respect for your sacrifice and I don't agree with it. But I know your just trying to help Ed and if this is what you want to do to help him." Envy turned to stare at Al as Al's head lowered "Know that I would do the same as you." Envy smiled a toothy serpent smile "I have just enough power left to open the gate once so figure when you want to do it and I'll be ready." Turning back to the window he spoke softly "The pipsqueak isn't going to like this but tell him when he's back to himself that it was my sacrifice because I've grown to love him so much. Thank him for showing me a life of happiness and what a family truly is all about." Al nodded in agreement as he turned and left the serpent homunculus alone with his thoughts.


	3. mhih Chapter 3

AN: Thank you for your reviews so far JacklynKaileigh (I know you love my emotional stories the best), Le Confidant, Rumia. I'll just tell you this, no one could ever take Winry's place in Edward's heart they have too much history. So keep reading and go with me through this journey of emotions and rediscovery. I love writing stories that deal with emotions I think that's because I have so many layers to myself and I throw some of myself into Ed.

"Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise

From the ashes of a broken life

And all that's dead inside can be reborn

Cause I'm worn"

My Heart is Heavy Chap.3

The year was 1926 in Amestris and Winry had met and married Gregory Anderson a private in the Amestrian military. Their life was great they had two beautiful sons she named Edward and Alphonse as a tribute to her long lost friends. But her husband in his mind thought it was a way for her to hold onto the man she truly loved. He knew about Edward and Winry's feelings for him and though she tried to hide them every time she saw a picture of him Greg could tell that she wasn't quite over her feelings yet. Later in their marriage she had pushed those feelings down deep inside her and learned to love her husband. But lately things weren't going that well between them and she found herself thinking of her childhood friends often and wondering what they were doing. A year ago things had come to a head with her and Greg he had become very physical with her to the point one day he grabbed her and hurt her arm. He was under stress at work but when Mustang found out about it he completely hit the roof. He told Winry to take the boys and leave for a while so he could try to talk some sense into Greg.

She had taken the boys to her childhood home in Resembool to stay with Pinako. Pinako was getting up there and she wasn't in the greatest of health at this time. Greg was furious and went to go after here but Mustang stopped him telling him that maybe this was for the best and that if he couldn't keep his hands off his wife he'd have Hawkeye shoot him and say it was an accident. Ever since the Elrics disappeared Mustang and his men had watched after Winry. When she agreed to marry Greg Mustang told Greg she was to be treated with the utmost respect and that he'd be watching. So when things turned physical he stepped in and warned Greg if he ever touched her again he'd make him pay. Armstrong had tried to talk to Greg too but in his opinion the guy wasn't one for listening. Winry had become like family to the guys and they knew since Edward wasn't here it was their job to make sure she was safe they knew that's what Edward would want.

In the spring of 1938 Winry was in the process of trying to divorce Greg. Mustang had sent Fuery out to keep an eye on her in Resembool because Greg wasn't taking the divorce well and he had made quite a few threats.

(ON THE OTHER SIDE)

Al had finished up with his plan and he and Envy had come up with a way to open the gate. Steven had gotten wind of what they were talking about and found out they would be leaving shortly so he gathered his sisters and brought them to the dungeon. Edward had pulled himself somewhat together this past week but he was still way far away from talking to anyone not even Al. So Al drew out the transmutation circle on the floor as Envy curled around it "You only have one chance because you know if he figures it out we're screwed." Al nodded to Envy trying to keep the circle out of Edward's sight as he walked him into the basement. The only way Al could figure that Edward couldn't stop them was to tie him to a chair. So as Edward sat down Al tied him to the chair and Ed went completely ballistic "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING AL?" Al finished securing the knot "It's for your own good brother." Edward started thrashing about "WHAT THE-" Then he looked up and saw Envy curled around the transmutation circle the same way he was that day seventeen years ago when the portal opened and his eyes widened "What?….What are you doing?" He knew what was about to happen and panic went through his body "No! NO! NOOOOO! YOU CAN'T! ENVY!" Envy grinned down with a serpent toothy grin "I love you my brother and this is the only way you can be truly whole again. It is my sacrifice to you and my thanks for all you have done for me." Struggling against the ropes that bound him Edward looked up at Envy "NO! I CAN'T LOSE ANYONE ELSE! PLEASE NO NOT THIS! I DOOOOOON'T WANT TO GOOOOOO!" Al turned his head and picked a knife up "I'm sorry Ed but I have to do this for you." He slit his hand and then turned he touched the circle then Envy as Edward's children looked on in horror as their father turned into a complete madman screaming and yelling. Al motioned them into the circle "Don't be afraid kids close your eyes." Edward tipped the chair over but was still tied to it as the portal opened and he looked up at Envy "ENNNNNNVY!" Envy nodded his head "Goodbye my brother Edward Elric." Then they were gone as Envy's eyes closed and he heard Edward scream "NOOOOOOO!" then he took his last breath and smiled exhaling it. He had sent his brother's home if nothing else he had hoped he'd redeemed himself and he hoped Edward would be okay now.

As Mustang was sighing paperwork a huge glow outside caught his attention as he walked to the window. Down below he saw six people appear in a transmutation circle and his heart about stopped as he saw one of them struggle and untie himself from a chair then he stood up and clapped his hands he touched the ground sending the other guy next to him flying towards his window. Mustang's eyes widened as he lunged to the left as this man flew through his window slamming into the wall inside. Shaking his head Mustang looked up as Hawkeye burst through the door with gun in hand "WHAT THE HELL?" she said staring at Roy on the floor. Standing up Roy slowly walked over to the guy only to hear behind him "I wasn't done with you Al." in a raspy voice. Turning his head to see Edward perched on a block of material he transmuted to lift himself, his long waist length golden hair blowing in the wind Mustang's eyes widened "F-Fullmetal" he said softly as Edward jumped into the room from his perch "ALPHONSE GET UP!" He yelled and there was such fury and pain in his eyes as he walked towards Al.

He brushed right past Mustang like he didn't even notice him and he was only focused on Al as Al looked up "Go ahead Ed take it all out on me I'll let you." Just then the door flew open and Nina screamed "DAD STOP IT!" Seeing their father use such power below had scared the children. They never knew that he could do such things or for that matter get so enraged. They had seen him angry before but this was pure hate and as she yelled Edward's head snapped towards her and seeing his children and the scared looks on their faces he stopped and his head went forward "I-I'm sorry." He looked down at Al who was bleeding some from cuts he got from the glass as he flew through the window. Edward took a few deep breaths and then went completely limp and fell to the floor on his knees.

Mustang walked over shocked as hell but still cocky "Do you two want to tell me just WHAT THE HELL YOUR DOING HERE!?" He screamed but Edward didn't move and Al just looked up put his hand to his head and smiled a half ass smile "Hello Colonel." Mustang looked at the mess they made of his office and blew "THAT'S FUHRER TO YOU NOW!" Al chuckled "So you got promoted then?" Getting annoyed Mustang lost it "YES I GOT PROMTED! NOW WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

Edward stood up not even looking at anyone "Ask Al" He said as he walked over and sat on the couch. His children entered and sat next to him he never looked up at any of them and that seemed strange to Roy as Al walked over "Can I talk to you alone Fuhrer Mustang?" Mustang stared at Edward for a moment noticing that there was something not right with him then he looked at Al "Sure." They walked to the other room and Al began to explain the terrible situation that his brother was in to Mustang and Hawkeye. Both of them took another look at Edward and saw he was in a bad way. The only thing Mustang knew to do was let Al take Edward to Resembool but that was also where Winry was. This was all he needed a half out of his mind alchemist that was grief stricken with the girl he used to be friends with that has her soon to be ex-husband after her and her boys. Putting his hand to his head Mustang sighed "What a fucking mess and you picked a great time to return Al." He began to explain Winry's situation and how Fuery was in Resembool to make sure Greg didn't do anything.

Al gave the Fuhrer a surprised look "Really well maybe I can help out with that. This might be a good thing for Ed too." Looking over to Edward Mustang said sarcastically "You sure he can be helpful?" Seeing the pitiful person Ed had become by his grief. Al smiled "He'll be fine he just needs her right now only he doesn't even know it. I have a feeling she's the only one that can get through to him. I'm also sure he won't let anyone hurt her even though he looks terrible."

Scratching his head Mustang turned "Yeah I saw the way he came after you Al. He's never lifted a finger to you before." Al lowered his head "I had to do something terrible to get us back here and Ed's not completely over it yet. But in time I'm sure he'll come to realize it was for the best." Not knowing what Al was talking about Mustang just shrugged "Alright." Turning his attention to another subject he walked over to Ed "So who's going to pay for my window?" Without even looking up Edward spouted "Who cares." No, this was not the same boy who left Amestris seventeen years ago. That boy would have had a smart ass comment and told him to fix it himself. Mustang sighed "Very well then I'll get you train tickets to Resembool then. Winry is at her grandmother's house visiting" Looking at Edward prosthetic limbs that had seen better days "Looks like you need to see her anyway." Edward's only response was "Whatever." Al thanked the Fuhrer and got the children together and his brother and walked them all to the train station.

Edward didn't say a single word all the way to the train station and as they boarded the train he looked at Al "I don't know if I can forgive you for this Al." He said softly as he brushed past his brother. But Al knew deep in Edward's heart he would sooner or later. Their bond was too great to be broken by this but then again they had just lost two members of their family and Edward was being tested by his own emotions.

As they all sat down Edward looked at his children "When we get to Resembool you'll meet someone that looks exactly like your mother. But it's not her do you understand. She's an old friend and I expect you to behave yourselves and not make her feel uncomfortable or weird about this." Steven looked at his father not understanding what his dad was saying Steven thought maybe she just resembled their mother "Yes dad!" Looking out the window he slightly turned his head "Do you hold any feelings for her father?" Edward sat there and realized it was a fair question his son asked and he answered it as truthfully as he could "I cared for her a great deal a long time ago. Two worlds separated us and then I met your mother. But yes I have feelings I buried deep down for her. I haven't seen her in a long time and I really don't know how I'm going to handle this son. So could you take care of your sisters the first couple of days were there?" Steven didn't know what his father meant by that either but he would soon find out when he came face to face with Winry himself.

Mustang walked over to his phone and dialed a number on the other end a woman answered "Rockbell automail and prosthetic's." Her voice sounded cheerful as he took a deep breath "Winry" Hearing Mustang's voice she smiled "Oh Hello Fuhrer Mustang." He didn't know how to tell her except just to tell her "Winry there are some people coming in on the train in a few days that I think you're going to want to see." Her bubbly personality traveled through her voice "Okay." He closed his eyes as he told her the news "Winry, It's Ed and Al they're back." Her face went blank and the phone slipped from her hand and she felt all the breath she had slip from her body as she began to fall forward. Fuery jumped up and caught her as she almost hit the floor then he grabbed the phone and put it to his ear "Fuhrer what's happened she almost just collapsed?" Mustang told Fuery what was going on and that when they got there he could leave. He was putting Winry in Al's hands until something could be done about Gregory.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I know you all are thinking that hell is going to break loose but this is a story of friends coming together and helping one another and rediscovering that lost friendship and love. There will be a chapter though where Ed meets Gregory face to face and well you just have to wait.

"I know I need to lift my eyes up

But I'm too weak

Life just won't let up

And I know that you can give me rest

So I cry out with all that I have left"

My Heart is Heavy chap.4

On the train Edward finally started to talk to Al as the children slept. Melissa was curled upon his lap as he looked down to her sleeping innocent face then turned to Al. "How could you do this Al?" He asked in a soft voice that still was missing that flare in it Edward used to have.

Al turned his head and stared at Ed "It wasn't my idea brother. At first I didn't want to go along with it but Envy was so hell bent on doing it. After I saw you that day on the couch I realized that maybe this would be better for you."

Lifting his gaze to match his brothers, "Better for me? What about my kids Al? What about when they see her? Don't you think that's going to shock them?" He was also having a problem of his own. When he left Amestris that day after Winry fitted him with automail he had realized one thing that he loved her. When Al asked him about her on the bridge of that ship his heart had sank at the thought of leaving her and never seeing her again. All he could do was turn and say "Tell her thanks she always made the best." As he held up his arm turning away no one saw the single tear that ran down his face. He remembered that moment for years and now after all these years he was coming face to face with her again.

His emotions and thoughts were all over the place at this moment and he knew in time he could deal with them but his kids were the ones that were going to be confused. His feelings for Winry were pushed deep inside him and he thought over time that he had lost them for good but being here now only confirmed his feelings as he leaned his head back. Al saw the look on his face as he leaned back and he thought this would be a good time to tell Ed why Envy did what he did. So turning to Ed he spoke softly to him "Ed Envy loved you as a brother and he hated what you had become. He wanted you to be happy for all you had done for him and he wanted me to tell you that this was his choice and his sacrifice to you. It was the only thing he could give you. He was dying Ed and before he did he wanted to know that you were happy." Al watched as Edward turned his head and a single tear rolled down his cheek and Edward took a deep breath.

The next day on the train the kids watched the scenery change as they got further into the mountains. It was beautiful and Ed and Al both noticed the scenery had changed in the past seventeen years as they rolled by. There were more houses and farms occupying the once deserted meadows. It was the third day on the train as Edward got up and walked around to stretch his legs. He walked back to the caboose where he stood on the little platform. '_Winry I don't know how I'm going to react to you and I hope my actions don't hurt you. You were the first girl I ever had feelings for but I'm so screwed up right now. I don't know what I feel anymore.'_ He thought thinking back to his childhood and all the times they were together and all the worrying she did over Al and him. He thought he was doing the right thing leaving that day to protect Amestis his feelings for her were just a drop in a bucket compared to the catastrophe that invaded Amestris that day. He began to question himself and think back to when he met Windy at first it was because she looked like Winry. It was nice having her close to him again but then he started to realize that they were not the same person. But in similar ways they were. Windy had always agreed with him on everything while Winry would have fought him tooth and nail over certain things and then just clocked him with her wrench. Chuckling to himself he had found over the years with Windy that he actually saw Winry deep down inside of her like when she cried, That every time would stop him dead in his tracks and he would recall making Winry cry. Confusing as it was to him he came to the conclusion that he loved both of them for their differences. But now here he was again and he had to protect himself against any heartache that he knew might be coming. It had been seventeen years and he was sure she had found someone and in all honesty he never thought Winry had feelings for him that was the reason he never told her how he felt. She never gave any inclination that she loved him except as a brother. He thought leaving that day would be best because if she didn't share his feelings he didn't know if he could handle it. Yes she always worried about them and she always wanted to know what they had gotten themselves into but she never truly came right out and told him that she worried because she felt something else for him and in all consideration he never did either.

Shoving his hands in his pockets he turned and reentered the train to see Al pointing out certain spots to the kids. They were closer to Resembool now and his heart was heavy thinking about what he was going to do when he saw her.

During the night Al woke up to see Ed staring out the window "Brother what's the matter? Can't you sleep?" Edward turned his head to look at Al and shook his head slightly to say no. "You're worried about tomorrow aren't you? You're worried about the shock the kids will go through huh?" Shaking his head yes Edward looked down at Melissa sleeping on his lap. She was the youngest and he knew that seeing Winry was going to confuse the child and he didn't know how to explain to her that she wasn't her mother although she looked exactly like her. Looking over to his son Steven Edward figured if anyone of them were to figure it out it would probably be Steven. Steven was so much like Edward all the way down to his emotions that sometimes it scared Ed. Steven knew what Edward was thinking before he could even say it and that was why he knew he would have to hide the feelings he was feeling.

The next day Edward woke up and saw that they were almost to Resembool. He took a deep breath and looked over to Al who was staring out the window across the aisle on the other side of the train "It's changed so much." Edward turned his eyes to his window and looked out. Al was right the meadows were filled with farms and houses and the clearing they used to picnic with their mother by the tracks was now a farm. Shaking his head slightly Edward leaned over and began to wake his kids.

Winry was a nervous wreck when she woke up that morning the boys would be arriving in about a half hour on the train then the walk would take them twenty minutes. She stopped and realized that she was going to see her childhood friends in less than an hour. She got up and made breakfast for her boys and sent them out to play while she tended to Pinako. Pinako wanted to get up today to be up when they arrived she didn't want to be laid up in bed. These were her boys and she was hell bent on greeting them especially that microscopic shrimp that used to argue with her every chance he got. But she knew he had probably changed after all this time and she was excited to see the men they had grown into.

Winry stood on the porch watching her boys and glancing down the road occasionally. She wondered how she looked. Was Ed going to look different? Had he grown any since she saw him that last time? Her mind wondered back to that day after she attached his automail and he told her and Sheska to hide. As he ran off she wanted to yell and call him back and tell him that she loved him but she thought she would have a chance after they defeated those ships. But then when she saw the ship take off in the air she knew he was leaving again and she had missed her chance to tell him. She knew he probably found someone else on the other side after all it has been seventeen years and she didn't expect he'd be alone his whole life. Mustang hadn't given her any details and her heart ached thinking that maybe he'd have someone with him. But if he did that would be fine because at least he and Al were back. If he brings a wife with him she thought they could be good friends even though deep in her heart she would be crushed. Her eyes widened as she thought about him having kids because she had two boys. If he didn't how was she going to explain her boys to him? There were a million things going through her mind as she looked back to the road and saw a group of people walking towards the house and her heart skipped and a smile crossed her face. Turning she yelled into the house excitedly "GRANNY THEIR HERE!" She ran slightly forward down the steps as she let them get closer. In the front she could make out Al as he waved and she threw her hand in the air and waved back "AL!" she was so excited then her eyes saw him in the back carrying a young girl in his arms. Her heart literally jumped out of her chest as she ran forward to meet them. Getting to Al she threw her arms around his neck "AL!" It was then all Edward's children gasped and Caroline looked up at Winry and said softly "M-M-Mom" Edward walked forward and put his hand on her shoulder and bent down "Remember what I told you on the train." Her eyes lowered and she began to cry slightly. Steven's eyes widened as he looked back at his father's face with a look of 'Why?' on his face. Melissa was sleeping in Edward's arms as he handed her to Nina. Nina's head never lifted to look at Winry as she held her younger sister tightly trying not to cry. Winry let go of Al and turned to Edward who stood there trying to breathe and not let the tears that formed in his eyes slip out the sides "Edward" She said softly as she walked over and hugged him tightly. But to her surprise he didn't hug her back he couldn't his body was in complete shock of seeing her. She lost her smile for a moment as she leaned back and stared at his stone face. But just as he was about to reach for her she let go of him and he couldn't understand why he had done that.

She looked at the children for a moment and realized these were all Edward's kids. Because each one resembled him in their own way stepping back she gave Edward one last glance as she turned and a bright smile crossed her face looking at Al "Well come on let's get you guys in the house." Walking in the yard Edward noticed the two boys playing in the yard. One looked to be about eleven and the other about nine. Winry stopped and called them over as she put her hands on their shoulders "These are my boys. This is Edward" When she said that Edward's eyes shot up and went to the boy's face as he stared at him. She then introduced the youngest "And this is Alphonse" Al walked closer to the boys "It's nice to meet you both." He turned and started to introduce Edward's kids to them as Ed just stood there dumbfounded that she had named her children after them. Not to mention there was a feeling that came over him at that point and he realized it was jealousy, jealousy that she had children with someone else, that she had found someone else. He didn't understand why he felt this way. What did he expect her to stay alone her whole life waiting for him to never come back but he couldn't help it.

She looked at his arm and saw the prosthetic he had on it and she moved closer to him and reached out for it and for some odd reason that he doesn't even understand he pulled his hand back away from her. She stopped her hand seeing his reaction "I'm sorry Ed I was just trying to look at your arm." She didn't understand why he was acting like this. Al saw the tension and butted in "Brother, are you tired?" Edward dropped his head forward and softly said "Yeah Al I'm tired." Winry looked at him with a confused look on her face wondering what had happened to the once bright enthusiastic boy she had once knew then gathering her herself "Well Ed you know where your room is. I'll wake you when dinner is ready." As he walked by his son he stopped and never lifted his head "Can you watch your sisters Steven?" Steven knew then, after looking at this woman that there was something more his father wasn't telling him. He told him he had feelings for this woman a long time ago but now Steven figured there had to be a reason that their mother looked exactly like her "Yes father I'll watch them." He walked over to Nina and took Melissa from her as she looked up at her dad she saw the slight tears in his eyes as she gave him a confused look to say '_Why didn't_ _you tell us?_' He placed his hand on her cheek and slightly smiled then walked into the house with his youngest. Only to be startled by a familiar voice "Never thought I'd see you again boy. I'm glad your home Ed." Edward turned to see Pinako sitting in a chair looking very frail as his eyes softened "Hello Granny." She saw his pain in his eyes and she called him over as she studied the sleeping child in his arms "She's a good looking girl Ed. Children are precious and a beautiful thing to have in your life." Edward smiled slightly "I know granny I have three more outside. B-But I think they're a little shocked and confused right now."

"Kids have a way of bouncing back Ed but adults have to deal with the pain longer." Leaning back she turned to stare out the window "You get some rest and we'll talk later alright." Edward stood back up and continued up the stairs and as he opened the room he and Al used to sleep in and it was then he understood what Pinako had said as he remembered all the times she and Winry were there for him and Al even though he kept them at a distance. He understood that she had dealt with the pain of worrying and being fearful that they were out traveling alone in this country. He never really thought about that till this very moment, the pain and worry he and Al, well mostly him had caused her and even after all that she still cared for them welcoming them back after all this time with open arms.


	5. MHIH chap5

"Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise

From the ashes of a broken life

And all that's dead in side can be reborn

Cause I'm worn"

My Heart is Heavy chap.5

As Edward disappeared into the house Winry noticed his children staring at her with sad faces. She smiled at them only to be met with tears forming in their eyes and her heart broke and she wondered why they were so sad. Al looked over to her "Winry can I talk to you for a moment." Taking her eyes from Edward's children when all she wanted was to ask them what was wrong? She followed Al to the other side of the house where he began to explain the whole story to her. She felt her heart break as he told her about Edward's wife and the accident and how Edward had held her to her last breath. Then she realized why his kids were so sad and she went to turn to go comfort them when Al grabbed her arm and put his hand in his pocket "There's something else you need to know Winry." Pulling a family picture out of his pocket he handed it to her "This is their mother." She looked at the photo and her eyes widened as she stared at herself in the picture. Stunned for a moment she didn't know what to say but now she knew why his kids were sad she looked exactly like their mother and now she wanted to comfort them more. How confused and shocked they must fell staring at their mothers twin. How tragic she was taken from them only to be here now face to face with her. Realizing this was a touchy subject and she didn't know how to react she did what she always did and that was walk over to them and smile and introduce herself "Hi my name is Winry and I've known your dad since we were kids." Nina looked up at her with sad eyes "You look exactly like her." Winry smiled down at the girl "I'm sorry about your mother and I'm sorry that I'm a hurtful reminder of her. But I would like to get to know you all." Caroline looked up and slightly smiled "I'm sorry it's just a shock to us but yes I'd like to get to know you too." Nina nodded yes also as Steven stood there and stared at Winry. The boy looked just like Ed at that age and she was amazed '_If Edward and I would_ _have had children this is what they would have looked like'_ she thought then shook the thought from her head. She turned to Steven "You look just like your father when he was younger." The boy smiled slightly as she bent down some "I see a lot of him in you." Steven was a curious boy especially about his father at his age so he looked up at Winry "Do you think you can tell me about him. He doesn't talk much about his childhood." Winry straightened up "I would love to tell you some stories about him and your uncle Al." Al put his hand out thinking that wouldn't be such a good idea seeing how they never told the children about themselves "Uh Winry I don't think that would be a good-"She turned and in her own old Winry way with atone in her voice "Butt out Al" she shut him down quickly as he answered "Okay" softly and timidly like he used too. The children smiled that she did that to him they had never seen him act like that. Turning back to them she took Caroline's hand and started to walk "Come on I'll tell you about the time your father showed up here with his arm all busted up and Al was in pieces too." As they walked off Al face-palmed "Oh Ed's going to kill me for letting them go with her."

About an hour later Edward woke up because Melissa was jumping on his back "Daddy! Daddy! Where are we? This isn't our home." Edward sat up and pulled her onto his lap "This is where daddy grew up and were at a friend's house." Melissa was an intelligent child sometimes Edward thought she inherited his brain because of all the things she understood at a young age. Now he just had to explain to her that Winry wasn't mommy she just looked like her "Mel daddy has something he needs you to understand." She looked up with her big blue eyes "Yes daddy."

"There's a woman here that looks exactly like mommy and daddy wants you to understand it's not mommy even though she looks like her okay." His head lowered as he couldn't bring himself to say what he was about to say "Mommy's gone." Melissa looked up with sad eyes "I know daddy." Smiling slightly Edward knew the girl understood as he sat her on the floor or so he thought she understood when a knock came at the door and it opened and Winry stepped in. "Ed are you awake lunch is-" all of a sudden Melissa jumped up and ran to her "MOMMY!" grabbing onto her leg. Edward sighed and his head fell forward as Winry stood there her heart going out to this child attached to her leg.

Winry looked down at Melissa as she looked up at Winry with her big blue eyes "I know you're not my mommy but can I still call you mommy because you look like her. It'll be like having her back." Winry bent down and picked her up "I tell you what how about you call me auntie for right now okay." Melissa smiled and looked over to Edward "See daddy I have an auntie now." Lifting his head some Edward groaned then looked over to his daughter "Yeah I see that" he smiled slightly as Winry bent down and put the girl on the floor "Melissa why don't you go downstairs lunch is ready." She smiled brightly and skipped off "Okay." Once the girl was gone there was complete silence between Ed and Winry till he softly said "Thank you Winry." She stepped more into the room "You have great kids Ed."

"Stop" he said putting his hand out to the side "I can't talk to you right now Winry." Then lowering his hand he laid back on the bed as she stared at him knowing it was probably hard for him to even look at her after seeing that picture "Alright Ed but know I'm here for you always." He turned his head to the side to look away from her and she felt as slight tear form in her eye as she turned to walk out the door she heard him softly whisper "I know." As the door shut he sat back up and dropping his head into his hands he began to sob like a child. Winry was still outside the door and she could hear him and all she could do was stand there and feel saddened by his sobs. She had never heard him sob like this before she had seen him tear up on occasion but never sobbing from the heart. She had to do something so she turned the knob and went back in the room only to find him on his knees on the floor. Taking a deep breath knowing that she could piss him off at any moment she walked slowly to the bed and sat down. He turned his head to look at her with tear filled eyes then leaned back with his back pressed against the bed next to her knees. Lifting her hand she hesitated putting it on his shoulder but to her surprise when she did he laid his head in her lap as she began to stroke his head and let him cry. Looking up she tried to fight the tears she was holding back from seeing him so broken and defeated. He must have cried for an hour then he lifted his head and stared straight ahead. She spoke softly "Edward why don't you look at me?" His hands went to his face as he whispered "I can't. Not right now." She knew it was because she looked like her but then he said something that surprised her "She looked like you." Now she was confused and even though his emotions were scattered everywhere he was dealing with more than loss at this point it was also reunion. Reunion with the girl who he shared his childhood with, the girl he first cared for as a boy, the girl he left but loved. His brain felt like it was about to explode from the feelings and thoughts. But she was trying to figure out what he meant by what he said. She thought he was going to say she looked like her but he said the opposite. Knowing that maybe he needed time alone she stood up slowly and turned but his hand grabbed hers "Thank you again Winry." She squeezed his hand slightly and he let go of hers letting her walk to the door where she stopped and softly said "Edward I don't know the pain you're in because I've never felt it but I do know the fear you have because I've felt that." It was the fear she felt when her husband grabbed here that day and she figured Edward's fear of being home was similar to that, a fear that gripped your very soul a fear deep in your stomach that you couldn't control. As she walked out and shut the door he tried to figure out what she meant by the fear she felt. _'Has someone hurt her? Does she feel fear about me the way I do about her? Is she scared to her core like me?' _he thought about all his questions and it was the first one that troubled him he asked it in his mind again '_Has someone hurt her?'_ Thinking about it more he hadn't seen her husband or heard her mention anything about being married. She wasn't even wearing a wedding ring but he knew she had been at one time because her finger was lighter where it had been. Even though not looking her directly in the eyes he had looked her up and down to see how she was and noticed that. Shaking the thought from his mind at that moment he stood up and sat on the bed then lying back on it he must have drifted off. He was awoken by his son a few hours later "Dad the girls are ready for bed. Do you want to say goodnight?" Edward sat up and saw all his girls as he held his arms out and they all hugged him together "I love you all and goodnight. I'll try to spend more time with you tomorrow okay." Caroline smiled "Aw Winry was going to tell us more stories about you and Uncle Al." Edward sighed and slightly smiled "She was, was she." Nina got a gleam in her eye as she looked at him "She showed us all the ottermail she builds in the basement." Edward chuckled, "Automail sweetie." Nina scoffed at him then smiled "She has this awesome arm she said she built for you many years ago." Edward grinned widely "She always did make the best damn automail." Steven noticed that his dad actually just smiled and he thought maybe this wasn't a bad idea to bring him here. They had only been here a day but that was the first smile he'd seen on his dad's face in months. He figured if he wanted more information on his dad he needed to talk to the old lady tomorrow she seemed to know more about him than anyone from the stories she was telling. Saying goodnight to his kids then watching them leave Edward figured he'd get some more sleep.

It was about two in the morning when he woke up to go to the restroom but he felt something on the bed. Upon looking down by his waist he saw her blonde hair, Winry had fallen asleep while sitting on the floor next to his bed with her head on the bed. He slipped out the other side went to the bathroom and came back and she hadn't moved. "You idiot" he said softly as he walked over to her _'You_ _must be really uncomfortable like that'_ he thought bending down and scooping her up in his arms as he turned and walked her to her room. Looking inside he saw she had given her bed up to his girls _'Where the hell was she going to sleep_ _doing that?_' he thought and sighing he turned and carried her back to the room he was in. Looking at the bed he figured it was big enough for both of them so he laid her down and covered her up. Then walked to the other side grabbing a blanket on the way for him as he sat on the bed then laid down next to her and covered himself.

He awoke the next morning with his hand over her waist and her face snuggled into his chest. He froze '_What the hell do I do?_' then he relaxed because the feel of her in his arms was comforting to him as he tightened his grip on her and laid his head atop of hers. She stirred some then slightly smiled in her sleep as she put her arm over his waist. Closing his eyes he went back to sleep and slept very soundly, more soundly than he had in months but his nightmares still plagued him as he began to cry out in his sleep. Winry's eyes shot open as he grasp her tighter and she could barely breathe she tried to move but his hold on her was tight as she gasp for air. Then his eyes shot open and he looked down at her for a second then let her go immediately "I-I'm sorry" He said softly as his gaze went to her face for the first time "I didn't hurt you did I?" She smiled slightly catching her breath "No not at all." He threw the covers off and put his feet on the floor and his head dropped into his hands and groaned. She reached over and put her hand on his back "It's okay to hurt Ed."

Lifting his head slowly he turned around to face her as his hand slowly lifted to her face and caressed her cheek he looked at her with such love in his eyes she was taken back for a moment "It's not okay to hurt you though." She leaned up and pulled him into a hug "You dummy, you didn't hurt me." Holding him tightly she leaned back with her bright smile and bubbly personality "Now it's still early so can we get some more sleep? My boys are hell on wheels when they get up and I like my rest." She smiled as she lifted his face with her finger under his chin "They remind me so much of you and Al at that age so full of energy." He gave her a slight smile "Sure my kids can be a handful too and I want to be around them today." Lying back on the bed she gave him enough room to lay down and as she turned her back to him he said softly "Winry" She looked back over her shoulder "Yeah."

"Can…..I just hold you?" She smiled softly and looked forward again "I'd like that Ed." Putting his arm over her waist and the other under her pillow he pushed himself up behind her and began to inhale the floral scent that was coming from her hair. It was like being in a meadow full of fresh flowers on a warm spring day. The scent of lavender tickled his nose as he felt relaxed and closed his eyes feeling her warm body next to his. It was a feeling he hadn't felt in months and he wondered if that was why he couldn't sleep very well. Winry lay very still and stared at the wall for a moment getting used to his arm around her and his body pushed against hers. She could feel his breath on the back of her neck and his muscular chest pressed against her back. She had to admit it felt nice and she wanted to help him anyway she could and if holding her helped than she was glad she could do it. She relaxed and snuggled back into him and closed her eyes slipping into a restful sleep.


	6. MHIH chap6

"My prayers are wearing thin

I'm worn even before the day begins

I'm worn

I've lost my will to fight

I'm worn so heaven come

And flood my eyes"

My Heart is Heavy chap.6

The sun was shining brightly through the bedroom window the next morning as Winry woke. Opening her eyes and stretching some she reached back to find the side of the bed Ed was on empty. She sat up wondering where he had gone as she heard all the children outside playing. Throwing the covers back she sat her feet on the floor _'Wow I slept like a rock for those two hours after we woke up'_ putting her hand to her head she rubbed it then stood up and walked to the window. Looking down she saw the children playing tag or something as she turned around and went out the door and started downstairs. She heard Al and granny talking in the kitchen as she walked in "Good morning" Al smiled "Sleep well?"

Winry's eyes scanned the kitchen "Where's Ed?" she asked looking at the kitchen then she walked over and took a pan out to start breakfast. Al turned his head "If you're going to make breakfast you don't have to Ed already feed all the kids." She turned around with a shocked look on her face "He did?" Al chuckled "Yeah he got up and made them breakfast then he tended to granny. I don't know what you did Winry but he's a little better today. This is the first time he's done this in months." Still trying to get her thoughts together she reached for a cup to pour some coffee "I didn't do anything Al." That's when she glanced out the window and saw him at the edge of the yard just staring out at the country side, His long golden hair down blowing in the breeze as he stood completely still like he was staring up into an abyss. Putting sugar in her coffee she stirred it and turned to Al "What's he doing outside?" Al shrugged took a sip of his coffee then grinned "I have no idea but I like to see him outside. It's better than being cooped up in a dark room like he has been."

"I can't believe I over slept" She said sitting down across the table from the as Pinako spoke "Al told me what happened to his wife and who she looked like. Ed and those kids have been through hell. It must be hard for all of them to be here but I have to say he looks a little better today than he did yesterday."

"He actually smiled yesterday." A young voice came from the doorway and they all turned to see Steven standing there. He walked slowly into the kitchen "He smiled for the first time in months last night and it was because we were talking about you." He looked to Winry "I don't know what you are to my dad and it's none of my business but I do know that when we were talking about you he smiled and now he's outside today and that's enough for me." Steven walked closer to her and stood next to her "Please can you help bring back the father we knew before…before that accident took both our parents from us?" his head lowered and Winry stared at this child blankly she didn't know what else she could do except be there for Ed.

Taking a deep breath she looked at Steven "I'll do what I can but I can't make any promises. Losing someone is hard and it takes time to heal. Your father is not the same boy who left seventeen years ago he's grown into a fine man, a man that I know nothing about now. He has deep feelings that I can't touch right now because they're too painful." Steven looked up "I know that if anyone can help him you can." This was a tall order and Winry didn't want to let the boy down but Ed was in bad shape and she knew it would take a long time for him to open up to her because he never was one to talk about his feelings "All I can say is I'll try Steven." The boys head came up and a smile crossed his face "Thank you." Then he turned and left the kitchen.

Pinako sighed as she looked at her granddaughter then Al and back to Winry "So dear what's your first move?" Al leaned forward grinning like he expected her to do this by herself "Yeah Winry how are you going to break through to him?" She looked annoyed at Al as her temper flared and she didn't know why but she just lost it "You know this should be your job you're closer to him than I am. He never told me anything and for that matter" Her voice raised, "NEITHER DID YOU AL!" Then lowering her face a saddened expression crossed it "You guy's never told me anything then you both just up and disappeared." Tears streamed down her face as she stood up and slammed her hands to the table and no one noticed Ed standing at the door as she yelled "DID EITHER ONE OF YOU THINK HOW THAT WOULD EFFECT ME?!" Al's grin disappeared as his head lowered "No and I'm sorry Winry. We were only trying to protect you back then." Edward couldn't help but feel pain in his heart as she continued "I DIDN'T NEED PROTECTING AL." tears flowed from her eyes as her head slumped forward and she softly whispered "I needed you two." The children had stopped playing outside hearing her yell as they watched through the window.

Edward stood there emotionless as she turned and ran upstairs sobbing. Al looked up at him with a saddened look on his face "Brother" he said softly as both their eyes widened for making her cry. Edward took a deep breath and looked at Pinako and slightly smiled as he turned and followed her up the stairs. He could hear her sobbing all the way down the hall and that was something neither he nor Al wanted to hear. They had always made a point not to make Winry cry because her tears are what hurt them the most. She could scream and get pissed off at them all she wanted but when tears fell from her eyes both brothers knew they had screwed up royally and hurt her. So without even knocking he pushed her door open and walked in and she was lying across the bed crying he sat on the edge and reached over and pulled her up into his arms. Burying her face in his chest she sobbed uncontrollably as his eyes fixed on the wall across the room and he stared at it as he took a deep breath and a stone look crossed his face as he just held her tightly. Hearing her sob killed him inside it was something he never wanted to hear from Winry or his wife he had always made it a point to make Windy happy so she didn't cry. But as he thought over his childhood he realized his selfish, ego maniac, non- communication ways had hurt Winry deeply and that was something he couldn't take back. All he could do was sit there and let her cry and a few moments later she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry Ed" with her puffy tear filled eyes he stared down into his softened as he slightly smiled at her "No Winry I'm the one who needs to apologize. You cared for me and Al and we never took your feelings into consideration at the time and I'm sorry." She was dealing with feelings of more than just old memories now her feelings for Edward were starting to surface again as she looked into his eyes and she didn't know how to deal with them. Knowing he was still hurting from losing his wife this was not the time to tell him how she felt and that was the hardest thing for her. Last night when he asked to hold her she had said yes because she wanted him to. Now even with him holding her while she sobbed over something that happened years ago she was just happy he had his arms around her. She wanted with all her being to look him in the eyes and tell him she loved him. But she figured he didn't feel the same and even when they were younger he never gave her the inclination he liked her in that way.

For Edward holding her was something he had wanted to do for a long time. But he had given his life for his brother and spent two years on the other side of the gate. That day seventeen years ago when he came back and saw how beautiful she had become it broke his heart to leave but he figured since she hadn't said anything he wouldn't either. She had hugged him like seeing an old friend that day and even when she attached his automail they both had kept their silence. His one priority that day was to stop the ships, that crazy bitch and the men from destroying Amestris.

He looked down at her in his arms "Are you okay now?" she wiped her eyes and leaned back out of his arms "Yes I'm fine now Ed." He lowered his head as his long bangs fell forward "I truly am sorry Winry for any pain I caused you years ago it wasn't my intention but like Al said we were trying to protect you."

She stared at him as he sat there and she wiped the tears more from her eyes as she looked at his arm. Then she broached the subject she'd wanted too since yesterday as she slightly smiled "Would you please let me look at your arm and leg now Ed. The way you're walking I have a feeling that these limbs you have are too short now."

He shocked her by leaning his head back and chuckling in the air "Same old Winry" '_He is smiling'_ she thought as a smile crossed her face and he leaned his head forward "Alright if it'll make you happy. Yes you can look at them and replace them if you'd like." He stood up and stretched "These limbs are getting a little uncomfortable I could use some great automail right now." He saw the huge smile that crossed her face and her eyes started to sparkle "Great I'll get right on it for you." She jumped up and as she passed him she stopped and kissed his cheek softly "Thank you Ed." He got a shocked look for a moment then looking at her happy warmed his heart and automail sure made her happy so he turned and smiled "No problem." She turned and literally skipped out of the bedroom as he sighed, '_Crap! What have I gotten myself into this time? But hey at least she's happy now'_ He shrugged as he sat back on the bed _'Could I actually have a life here? Without it being the way it was before? I don't want to fight anymore I just want a life where I can be happy. Windy, My dear Windy I loved you with all my heart but sometimes I realize that it was because you looked like Winry that I fell in love with you and I know you realized it too. But after a while I figured out you were different from her and that you both were the same but two completely different women. Would you hate me if I told her how I felt about her even though she probably doesn't feel the same for me? I have too just because I have a second chance to and it's something I have to get off my chest.'_ He sighed as he stood up and went to the window to look down at the kids playing in the yard '_Would they hate me if I told them how I felt about her?'_ shoving his hands in his pockets he exited the room and walked downstairs and into the kitchen. Al looked up and grinned "You agreed to let her fix your arm and leg didn't you?" Getting a confusing look Edward "What are you talking about?"

Pinako smiled and looked at him "She came down eyes gleaming and whistling and headed straight for the basement." Shaking his head Edward turned to leave the room "Your damn right I did." Both Al and Pinako smiled at each other but Al figured it was time to tell Ed what was going on with Winry and her husband. He needed his brother to be aware in case the guy tried anything and now that Ed was more aware of the world around him instead of grieving he decided this was a good time. As he stood up Pinako stared at him "You're going to tell him aren't you? In that case I think he'll need a new arm and leg."

Walking out to where Edward was sitting Al sat next to him "Brother I have to tell you something about why Winry is here and why Fuery was here when we got here." Curious Edward turned to Al but when he saw Al's face he knew something was wrong "Okaaay what is it Al?" As Al explained to him what Mustang had told him Edward's face got a surprised look on it but when Al got to the part about him hurting Winry's arm his face changed to a pissed off look. "So that's what she meant about feeling fear." Edward sat forward as Al looked at him confused "What?" Edward shook his head "Nothing Al" keeping that part to himself. Al could tell Edward was not happy about this and his total demeanor changed "Alright then Al we need to be more aware of what's going on then." Smiling Al agreed "Right brother" He was happy because this sounded like the Ed he knew so long ago. Feeling a sense of happiness Al leaned forward wondering what his brother planned to do about it "So Ed what are we going to do?"

A feeling rose up in Edward he hadn't felt in a long time. It was the feeling of protection over Winry '_How dare this guy lay a finger on her'_ He thought as he turned to Al with a look in his eyes Al hadn't seen in almost fifteen years "I'm going to kick his ass if he comes near her or her boys Al." Al smiled as he stood up and took a step then stopped and turned back to Ed "Good to have you back brother." Edward looked up at Al with a fire in his eyes again "Good to be back Al." As Al turned and walked away Edward realized he couldn't stay in his grief forever. He had children to raise and now someone wanted to hurt Winry. He figured Windy would understand if he became the person he used to be. Because he was sure she wouldn't want him to be unhappy the rest of his life. Closing his eyes he listened to the wind as it blew and his eyes shot open when he heard in Windy's voice "Take care of her Ed." Shaking his head thinking he was hearing things he stood up feeling like a completely different man at that point as he looked to the sky and grinned "I will."


	7. mhih Chapter 7

My Heart is Heavy chap.7

It was four days later when Winry called Edward to the basement. Their relationship over the past week had almost fell back into the same as it was years ago. Although he hadn't opened up to her on his feelings yet she figured there was something else on his mind. He had been a little on guard lately and preoccupied and she wanted to ask why but she figured it was just his way of dealing with things. As he entered the basement she and Al were standing there grinning like stupid fools. So he just scratched his head and looked at them "What is it?" A giddy squeak came from Winry as she turned and lifted the automail she had made for him up "I finished it!" she walked forward and showed it to him. He saw the sheer happiness on her face and he smiled slightly "I suppose now you want to cause me pain attaching it?" She nodded her head yes vigorously.

"Sometimes I think you like seeing me in pain when you attach these." The smile left her face for a moment "That's not true Ed I hate to see you in pain." He walked over and sat down and took his shirt off as she began to remove the arm his father had made. She noticed he had kept in great shape over the years his abs still toned and his left arm was muscular. It was hard for her to keep her eyes focused on the task at hand but she managed stealing a look at him here and there. Careful to check out his chest plate where the arm would be attached for any pulls it had gotten over the years she was surprised it had held up beautifully. But then again it was her grandmother that attached it. Edward hadn't grown that much in the size of his chest but he had gotten somewhat taller. Figuring their might be hairline pulls she began to examine him but found that he'd actually compensated by keeping his abs and chest toned. He had grown into a fine looking man as she studied his physique. Her eyes then wondered to his leg "Alright you have to drop your pants" she said blushing slightly and he smiled a flirty smile "I was wondering how long it would take you to get my pants off." He said jokingly. Her cheeks then turned bright red as she turned around "BROTHER!" Al yelled as Edward smiled at him and he knew Ed was joking. Reaching down he undid his belt and pants and dropped them to the floor and when she turned back around he breath hitched in her throat '_Oh my he has grown into a fine looking man' _she thought letting her eyes wonder up his whole body checking out every part of him. Edward had done the same because she was actually dressed in her tube top and overalls tied around her waist. Only thing was her breasts were fuller he figured from having kids and her hips were rounder probably from having kids too. But as he studied her body she still looked great. Al just face-palmed "Are you two going to gawk at each other all day or can we get this done already?" Both of them shook their heads and flushed in their cheeks.

Winry gathered her thoughts as she walked closer to Ed "Al's going to help me dock these because granny can't. I've showed him how to do it so hopefully we can get it the first time." Edward had a pleading look on his face as he turned to Al as if to say '_Please don't screw this up'_ Al chuckled "Don't worry brother I practiced all night last night on that." He pointed to a dummy that had the arm hole ground out and Edward's eyes widened seeing the damage. Al turned and grabbed the leg "Don't worry Winry said I could do the leg because it's easier." Laughing to himself Al couldn't help but bust out laughing at the sheer terror on Ed's face knowing full well he hadn't caused the damage to the dummy someone else did. He had actually got the docking down in one try but making Ed sweat was amusing to him.

Winry positioned herself with his arm and Al put the leg in the hole as she leaned close to Ed's ear "Are you ready?" Edward's face cringed "Yeah" he said looking back up at her. She turned to Al "Alright on the count of three like we practiced Al." Al nodded "Sure thing" All that went through Edwards mind was '_Oh God, Oh God, My brother's never done this'_ Winry counted down and when she hit three they both pushed and the nerves connected as Edward let out a slight groan. He realized Al had done a great job as Winry began tightening his arm up. Al held the leg in place till she told him to take the long bolt and put it in the hole and twist.

Grabbing the bolt Al put it in the hole and began tightening it "See brother that wasn't that bad." Edward smiled "Yeah you did a good job Al" feeling less freaked out about it now. Winry started at the back and worked her way forward to the front tightening the bolts. After Al got the main bolt in she told him she'd finish up so he stood up and turned to walk to the door then stopped "Hey brother I didn't do that damage to the dummy but it was funny watching you sweat." He laughed out loud as Ed's eyes narrowed "I'll get you for that later Al." Al left laughing his ass off as Edward was left alone with Winry. Her concentration while she worked on automail was serious as she moved to the top of his shoulder then down the front tightening away. He used to keep his face straight and his eyes closed as she worked but this time he watched her. The sheer look of pleasure she got while she tightened and screwed bolts in made him smile. He had never paid that much attention to her as she worked on him but this time he took the time to watch her. Taking his long hair in her hand she moved it over his left shoulder she stopped and noticed him watching her as she smiled "What" she asked softly as he stared up at her.

He smiled at her "Nothing" he said softly turning his head to look straight again as she went back to work. When she got to the front of his arm she leaned in some and slightly turning his head his nose hit the top of her head and he inhaled the scent of lavender coming from her hair. She looked up at him "Ed have you forgotten how to sit still? Geez you used to sit like a statue now you're all over the place. What's the matter with you?" It was then she noticed how close her lips were to his and she stared into his amber colored eyes as he stared back into hers and before she knew it his head started moving towards hers and he kissed her. Shocked by it she didn't know how to react as he leaned back and quickly said "I'm sorry" and looked forward terrified with eyes wide. Thoughts scrambling through her head all she could get out of her mouth was "Uh, Okay" as her cheeks flushed and she went back to work.

Finishing his arm she moved to his leg as he watched her intensely which sort of made her nervous because he had never done that before. Finally she looked up and smiled "Alright Ed what's going on with you? You've been watching me work for an hour now." '_Busted'_ he thought as he smiled "I'm just watching you work Winry. I realized that all the times you've worked on me I never really watched to see what you did." '_That's understandable but is he flirting with me?'_ she thought as she looked back down and continued bolting his leg. She tightened the last bolt and stood up and stretched her back out "There all done" He watched as she stretched and he couldn't understand why he kept staring at her but then he realized he had done the same thing the last time he was here. The day of the invasion only she hadn't noticed because she was so caught up in getting his limbs on quickly at that time. Was it then that he had realized he was in love with her? Shaking his head and gathering his thoughts back he stood up and stretched the arm out "Feels great" then the leg "I don't know how to thank you." She put her wrench down and turned around to face him "Edward that kiss. Why did you do it?" He wanted to tell her but instead he sighed "I don't know Winry." She had a confused look on her face as she walked over to him "You don't know why you kissed me?" Looking into her eyes then his gaze dropped to the floor. How could he tell her he was in love with her if she didn't feel the same? So he just turned his head to the side and said sternly "I just wanted to that's all." Knowing he was hiding something she sighed because he just lied to her and she didn't understand why, so she turned around "Fine then just don't let it happen again." Because next time she didn't know if she could handle not telling him she loved him. Feeling he had crossed a line he felt somewhat hurt inside and he answered with his cold voice "Fine."

As she walked out he could have kicked himself in the head right then because he knew he had hurt her feelings and of all things he kissed her without even thinking about it. Now he just felt like an ass he had done something stupid again. He was supposed to be grieving and yet here he was kissing her. '_What an idiot I_ _am' _he thought. It was just like when they were kids and he tried to protect her from certain things and they would talk coldly to each other. Why? Why couldn't he just tell her? He figured it wasn't the right time so he turned and got dressed and went outside "Hey Al it's been awhile but what about sparing some to see how this handles?" Al looked up knowing full well his brother was going to come at him with full force for that dummy situation in the basement. Luckily for him he had been practicing since they got back hoping Ed would let her put automail back on him "Uh, Sure Brother."

As they walked into the yard the kids all sat around to watch and were amazed at how their father and uncle could move. Finally after about an hour Ed looked at Al then the boys "Why don't we show them a couple of moves little brother." Al smiled calling Winry's two boys out and Edward called Steven. The boys were so excited to learn some moves so Edward and Al taught them a few to keep someone off someone else. Steven picked it up quite quickly and so did little Edward. Little Al still had short legs and his kicks didn't have that much strength behind them. Edward told him if he really wanted to learn he'd show him some exercises to strengthen his legs and Little Al agreed. Steven asked his father to teach him more but Edward wanted him to master the move he just showed him so they practiced nearly all day. After that Edward showed him some block moves with his hands but they hadn't practiced those a lot before Winry called them to dinner.

Later that night Edward lay in bed wondering if Winry was going to sleep somewhere else tonight she had been working on his automail for three night's straight. Since the first night they slept in the same bed together and he knew she was probably pissed off at him for kissing her. So he rolled over and closed his eyes only to hear the door open "Ed, are you asleep?" He thought about pretending for a moment but then he opened his eyes "No I'm awake." She walked in and sat on the edge of the bed as he looked up at her. She looked troubled about something and he figured he knew why. But instead she spoke softly "I'm scared Ed" His heart dropped for a moment and he put his hand over hers "I'm scared of my husband. I sent divorce papers to him but he didn't take it well and I'm afraid he's coming after us." Edward sat up quickly and pulled her to him "No one is going to hurt you or your boys Winry. I won't let them I promise."

"I don't want you to get into trouble Ed." She said feeling if her husband did something Ed would probably kill him. Edward smiled slightly remembering what Mustang said in his office that day about him being any help. He realized that Mustang had sent them here for this particular reason and it was over his dead body that anyone would hurt her or her children. So he sat there and held her for a while then as she began to relax in his arms he laid down and patted the bed "Come on we need sleep we have very active children that need their parents at their full extent of strength." Smiling slightly at him she laid down and curled up next to him and fell asleep.


	8. MHIH Chapter 8

Let me see redemption win, let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life

And all that's dead inside can be reborn

Yes all that's dead inside will be reborn

Though I'm worn

Yes I'm worn

My Heart is Heavy chap.8

After that night Edward made it a point to know where everyone in the house was at all times. He figured that Winry's husband would make a move at some point and he tried to keep everything normal but with just a few more rules. None of the kids were aloud outside without an adult there to watch. Winry was afraid her husband would try to take the boys. Al worked with the boys more on their martial arts while Edward concentrated on Steven. Steven had a talent for it that Edward never knew but Edward knew he would have to be in a few situations so his body would remember the moves automatically. Steven hadn't been in a real fight and Edward decided that Al needed to spare with him because Steven didn't know Al's moves like he knew his fathers.

As they spared Steven looked at his uncle "My dad seems to be in a better place here especially around Winry." They stopped fighting for a moment as Steven continued "I know they have been sleeping in the same room. But I also know my dad is a gentleman." Al was sort of shocked to hear him say that as Steven kept talking "By asking around in town I found out some things like Winry was in love with my dad when they were younger." He looked at Al seriously "Did my dad love her?" Al sighed as he walked over and put his hand on Steven shoulder "I suppose in a way Ed did love her but he never told her." They both walked over and sat down as Al continued "You have to understand Steven that back then your father was in the military and we went and did what they told us to do. There are things we're not proud of and things we changed for the better. But there are things we kept to ourselves and I think that was one thing your dad kept to himself. But that doesn't mean he loved your mother any less he realized that her and Winry were two different people and his love for your mother grew each day." Steven stopped him at that point "Uncle Al me and my sisters know that and we know it literally almost killed him when she died. We've been talking and we realized that if he truly loves Winry than maybe this is his second chance to be with her." Looking over to his father he smiled "We haven't seen him this happy in months and in just a week look what being around her has done for him." He lowered his head "Our mother would want him to be happy and that's what we want too. He's changed so much this past week so we were wondering if maybe you thought there was a chance that they might get together. I mean we all like Winry and her boys and if dad truly loves her and she loves him than they should be together right?" Al looked at his nephew and smiled "You would think it would be that easy but to tell you truthfully this is the first I've heard of her loving him. I mean I knew she had deep feelings for him. Where did you hear this from?"

Steven looked up and smiled "There are a lot of people in town that knew them when they were younger and also knew her after he left and we just put the pieces together it wasn't hard when they said she went into a depression after you and him disappeared." With a surprised look on his face Al looked over at Edward and when Edward saw the look on Al's face and he was talking to Steven he knew his son had figured it all out. So he stopped and walked over to them "Hey what are you two looking so serious about?" Steven looked up at his father and smiled "I've figured out your secret father." Edward froze and stared at his son for a moment and Steven slightly smiled "How come you never told her?"

Al stood up "I think you can take it from here brother" and he walked over to continue with Winry's boys. Edward sat down next to his son "I never told her because I didn't think she felt the same. Winry, Al and I have been close since we were kids and I was always there to protect her from anything and my last day here my only concern was stopping the people invading Amestris and keeping her safe." He sighed as he looked over at her playing in the yard with Melissa "So I took that secret with me to the other side to save her anymore pain than she already felt." Steven stood up realizing his father didn't even know she loved him and he wasn't going to be the one to let the cat out of the bag "You have to tell her dad." Edward slightly smiled "I already figured that out but I haven't had a chance to yet." Reaching his hand up and scratching his head he looked at his son "You haven't told your sisters about this have you?" Steven laughed "Are you kidding they already knew too. But don't worry were cool with it as long as you tell her." Edward sighed and lowered his head "I don't understand how I got such great kids." Then he remembered Windy and her understanding demeanor. He thought who else would have believed his brother was a serpent then spent time with him reading to him all the time. Not to mention believing your husband and his brothers were from another world. He looked up at Steven and smiled "Alright I'll find a way to tell her in my own time." Giving his son a stern look "Got it!" Steven was relieved he had told his dad and he was glad his dad was going to finally tell Winry. He hoped that she would tell his father the same but it had been many years and he hoped she hadn't lost interest in his dad. But he soon realized that was out of the question when he looked over and saw her staring at Edward and he smiled softly '_Maybe they can rekindle a fire'_ he thought looking down at Edward "I want to train harder father and be a great fighter like you and I want to learn alchemy." Edward felt a proud feeling deep in his heart as he looked at his son "Alright but I'm telling you it won't be easy. I'll train you the way our teacher trained us minus the beating up part. But I tell you she wasn't easy on us." Steven had a stern determined look on his face and Edward knew he got that from him "I'm ready."

Edward chuckled "Alright here's something for you to think about." He stood up and said "All is one and one is all. I'll get you some alchemy books to read and study and I'll write out some things for you to learn and in three months I'll ask you what that statement means and if you know I'll continue your training." Steven jumped up "YAY! I'll study hard father and make you proud." Edward turned to walk away "You already do my son. You already do."

The next few days Edward sat and wrote out everything he could remember on alchemy which wasn't hard because he remembered everything his teacher had drummed into his brain and even though he knew there was no right answer for all is one and one is all he was curious to see what his son came up with. Just as Izumi was curious about what he and Al would come up with.

While sitting on the porch writing his notes down Winry came out "Ed would you mind walking to town with me so I can get some groceries." She knew he wouldn't let her go alone and Al had taken the children to swim in the river. He put his pencil down and stood up "Sure I could use a break my heads about to explode." She snickered at him "I can't believe after all these years you still remember all that stuff Izumi taught you." Walking past her to put the paper in the house "Well if we didn't she'd beat it into our heads so yeah after all these years my head still hurts from her." Winry smiled at the thought of him teaching Steven alchemy and the boy had been hard at work for the past few days reading every piece of paper his dad gave him. He was just as determined and stubborn as Edward.

As they got to town and shopped Edward had this strange feeling they were being watched and he was right. Gregory had been staying in town for the past week and he had been spying on his wife and he wasn't too happy to see her with another guy. He hadn't put it together that that was Edward yet but he would soon find out when he called his friend at Central and he told him that Edward and Al had come back. That only infuriated him more knowing his wife's feelings for this guy. It had taken her years to get over him and now he was back in the picture and Gregory figured his chances of patching things up with his wife were over now. Especially after he was spying last night and saw her and Ed in the same room together. He was filled with hate and jealousy now and all he wanted to do was inflict the pain he felt onto her. He figured he would beat it out of her as to why she left he thought it was because Ed was back and that only made his hatred for Ed stronger. He made up his mind if he couldn't have her then neither could Edward and if taking her out was the only way he had no problem with that. Then he would take that wife stealing alchemist out as well. As he cleaned his gun he thought of all the ways he could punish her if she told him no. Then he thought of ways he could torture Edward and make him regret coming back. He hadn't paid much attention to what people tried to tell him about Ed. Like he was a great fighter and he didn't back down from a fight. They all told Greg if it came to fighting Edward they would all just surrender because he was a force to be reckoned with but Greg thought that was all in Edward's past. He thought him being on the other side probably only made him soft. But Edward never let his martial arts skills go without testing them out and staying in shape. He practiced every day and kept his moves as sharp as ever on the other side because that world was more violent than Amestris.

But as far gone as Greg was at this point and his drinking didn't help he wasn't listening to anyone. He was blinded by jealousy and rage and that wasn't a very good combination at this time.


	9. MHIHChapter 9

(Disclaimer) I own nothing of FMA (Just my crazy outrageous mind with ideas)

My Heart is Heavy chap.9

It was about three weeks later when Winry was getting her boys ready for bed. Al the youngest looked up at her "Mommy, who are Ed and Al to us?" She stopped brushing his hair as Edward walked over. The boys had known that they were friends of their mothers and they had spent the last month with them but they still didn't know exactly who Edward and Al were. Edward knew his mother was close to the older Edward because of the way he treated her. He knew that his mother cared for them a lot because of the way she acted around them.

Looking over to Edward she took his hand and sat him next to her on the bed as she began to explain to them who these people were that had come into their lives. Explaining about alchemy and how Edward and Al learned it for the soul purpose of bring their mother back to life. Little Edward knew enough about that from Uncle Mustang "But that's a taboo mom Uncle Mustang said you weren't supposed to do that." She smiled at him "I know honey but Ed and Al were so grief stricken about their mother they didn't think about that." Little Al smiled up at her "If I knew alchemy and something happened to you I probably wouldn't care either."

Edward stared at his mother with his big blue eyes "They were younger than us when they tried this." Patting his head slightly she smiled "Ed was ten and Al was the same age as you Al." she looked out the window and got a far off look on her face "I still remember the night Al was pounding on the door stuck in that suit of armor holding a bleeding Edward in his arms begging for granny to help him." She continued her story about Ed becoming a State alchemist and their adventures searching for the philosopher's stone and she got to the part where Ed had sacrificed himself to bring Al back. She then turned and told the boys "All they had left was each other and Ed would have done anything to protect his younger brother." Little Ed looked up and smiled at her as they crawled into bed and she tucked them in "Just like I would for my brother huh mom?" She smiled softly realizing that her boys were exactly like Ed and Al at that age. Her Ed would always take care of his brother when her and her husband argued. He would let Al sleep with him when he was scared and get up and take care of him in the middle of the night. Tucking the covers around him a tear formed in her eye "Yes Ed just like you do."

"So you never answered my question mommy who are they to us?" Al looked up smiling at her as she thought for a moment "Well I guess you can call them uncles like you do Uncle Mustang. We're not related but I have known them all my life so I guess that would make them uncles." Al smiled "Wow now I have two more uncles. I like them mommy and I like spending time with them. Uncle Ed said he'd show me how to improve my kicks so there stronger."

Edward laughed "Yeah you have short little legs" he said teasing his brother. Which almost made Al cry as he smacked his older brother, "That's not funny brother" just then they heard a voice by the door "Being short has nothing to do with talent" They all looked up to see Edward standing there.

Al smiled seeing him "Uncle Ed tell brother I can fight good." Edward chuckled "Well when I'm done with you you'll fight great." Winry gave him a stern look "Don't encourage them Edward." He smiled as he turned to walk out "Goodnight boy's we have a lot to do tomorrow so get a good night's sleep." They both said goodnight to him as he left. Then Little Ed looked at his mother "I've heard his kids talking mom and if things would have been different would he have been our father?" She was shocked at what Ed asked wondering what Edward's kids had been talking about and she smiled softly "I don't know Ed but I would like to think maybe he would have been."

Al yawned a sleepy yawn as he looked up "He would have made a great dad." Ed got a pissed off look on his face "Yeah not like our mean father." Winry's eyes widened that he would say that and she corrected him "Your father wasn't always like that Ed." Ed gave her astern look "He hit you mom if I was old enough I would have punched him. He's mean and nasty and I hate him." Winry then realized her boys were headed down the same path the Elric's were. Ed feeling the same way about his father the way Edward did when they were younger only Hohenheim never hit Trisha. She looked at them both and bent down and kissed their foreheads "Ed, now watch over Al and you both get some sleep alright." They both rolled over and closed their eyes as she turned and walked to the door closing it slightly as she stood outside and thought about the conversation her and her sons just had. She felt a little sad that they felt that way about their father but she was glad that Edward and Al could be good roll models in their lives now. But she still wasn't sure about them teaching the boys to fight. After she left Al turned over and poked his brother as Ed looked over his shoulder "What?" Al smiled slightly "Wouldn't it be nice to have Ed as a father brother?" Ed thought for a moment then he slightly smiled too "Yeah he would be an awesome dad" and with that both boys dozed off to sleep.

Two days later it was early when Al got up and started into town he wanted to go early to be back by lunch. Winry had sent him on some errands to pick up groceries and other things. That left Edward alone with her, the kids and granny which he spent most of the morning training the boys. He and Al figured that the boys had enough that day so he brought them in while Steven still practiced his alchemy. Edward told Winry he was going to take a shower before lunch and jokingly told her she could join him if she liked. But she smacked him in the head for saying that and he laughed "Well can't blame a guy for trying Winry." He said laughing as he walked down the hall. Lately she didn't know if he was joking or serious when he said things like that. But she figured half the time he was just joking but most of the time he knew he wasn't.

Al had started his walk home and it was almost lunch time and he was starved. Winry had him pick up ingredients for apple pie and he couldn't wait to sink his teeth into a piece later after dinner. Winry was washing dishes and the kids were being kids making all kinds of noise and being themselves. As she thought to herself and smiled '_Wow this house is full of happy children._' Edward's kids had come a long way in a month and her boys and his kids got along great. Steven had jumped in to help little Al learn his kicks just so he could beat his brother in a match. Edward had also come along way he wasn't depressed any longer, Yes he had his days where he would just sit by himself but Winry knew it would take time. What she didn't know though was that most of that time it was him trying to figure out how to tell her how he felt. He still thought about Windy from time to time remembering the good times and also Envy. He missed his serpent brother but he now understood what Envy meant about sending him back here. He had to admit it did help if he would have stayed on the other side he would probably still be in deep depression.

Turning the shower off Edward stepped out and dried off. Putting his sweats on he thought he'd lounge in those today seeing how they weren't going to be doing anything besides kicking back and he was looking forward to apple pie for desert. As he began to dry his hair he could hear the kids downstairs laughing and talking as he ran a brush through his hair. Then his heart stopped in his chest when it sounded like all hell broke loose downstairs with screaming and crying. He thought maybe the kids had become a little rambunctious and were fighting. That's when the pounding on the bathroom door scared the crap out of him. It was his daughter Caroline screaming for him on the other side "DAD! DAD! HELP!" He swung the door open to see her, Melissa and little Al scared out of their mind. Little Al looked up at him "Uncle Ed you have to help her he just hit her." Edward's eyes widened "Stay here" as he took off down the stairs.

He got to the bottom of the stairs in time to see Steven fly out of the kitchen and hit the wall and slide down. Then he saw little Ed hit the floor and slide across it into a wall. Rounding the corner he saw a man holding his daughter Nina by the neck of her shirt about to hit her and his eyes narrowed and a rage so enormous built up in his body as he looked over and saw Winry on the floor blood coming from her mouth. Before he knew it he ran over punched the guy grabbed Nina and spun her towards Steven who was picking himself up off the floor. Standing in front of Winry his eyes went to his son briefly "You okay son?" Steven had caught his sister and got to his feet "Yeah the bastard caught me off guard." Just then the guy rose from his slumped position on the floor "OHHHH If it isn't Edward Elric my wife's long lost love." He sounded drunk Edward thought as he got a confused look about what the guy just said but he didn't pay much attention as his eyes went to behind the guy to little Ed lying on the floor not moving and his blood boiled.

Staring the guy in the face and not moving his eyes from him Edward growled to his son "Get your sister out of here Steven." Steven wrapped Nina's arm around his neck and started to leave but he wanted to wait and watch to see what happened so he stopped behind the wall of the kitchen. Nina looked at him "Steven let's go dad said to leave." Steven waved at her to be quiet as he grinned "I want to see this" Sticking his head slightly around the corner. Nina just shook her head trying to still catch her breath where the man had almost strangled her.

Edward's main concern was little Ed lying on the floor as he watched for any movement from the boy. Winry screamed "GREG LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO YOUR SON YOU ASSHOLE!" That's when Edward knew this was her husband. Greg grinned a wide grin "Screw the little bastard" Edward's eye's narrowed again at what he just said and he got more pissed as Greg began to spout shit out of his mouth to Edward "Soooo you're the infamous Edward Elric. The wonderful Edward, the one my wife couldn't stop thinking about." Putting her hand on the sink Winry pulled herself off the floor and stood up feeling Greg was going to spill the biggest secret she had been protecting for so many years "Shut. Up. Greg." She said sternly but he didn't stop "Do you know how she pined away for you after you left? It was disgusting it was like watching a bitch in heat." Edward was trying to understand him but he was so furious all the guy's words seemed to jumble together "SHUT UP GREG!" Winry yelled at him as he laughed sadistically and kept talking to Edward who stood sternly between him and Winry with his eyes focused on the young boy on the floor. It was about that time Edward couldn't stand it anymore so he stepped forward and landed a kick upside Greg's head sending him flying across the room and hitting the wall where he slid down. Running over to the boy Edward scooped him up and ran to Steven whos head was poking around the corner and handed him the boy.

"I told you to get out of here son." He said in a gritty voice and Steven knew his father was pissed so he took Ed from his arms and nodded wide eyed at his father. As he watched Nina help Steven with Ed he turned his attention back to Greg who reached in his pocket and pulled his revolver and aimed it at Winry as he stood up. Edward's heart jumped in his chest seeing her standing there holding her bleeding face as Greg continued his rampage. "You're such a lustful spiteful bitch. Did you leave me because he came back?" Edward moved slowly walking back into the kitchen trying to get Greg to focus on him. Greg's eyes moved to Edward "Nope alchemist don't move or I'll shot her where she stands." Edward stopped and looked at Winry and she stared wide eyed at him and Greg knew she hadn't said anything to Edward about her feelings because if she had he'd be all over him right now. Greg laughed loudly "Oh ho ho So you haven't even told him have you?" Winry's eye's narrowed as she looked back to Greg with a pleading in her eyes "Please Greg don't say anything. He doesn't need to hear this right now." Edward could see Greg was squeezing the trigger slowly and he figured he was going to shoot Winry anyway. So clapping his hands he touched the floor putting a wall between her and Greg right as the gun fired.

Al was walking home and was about a minute from the house when he heard the shot. Dropping the grocery bag he took off running and reached the house in time to look in the window to see what was going on. Just then Steven came around the corner with Ed and Nina. "Who is that?" Al asked as Steven explained it was Winry's husband. Al knew he had to get behind Greg and Edward saw his brother looking through the window so he started talking to Greg and moving around the room to position Greg in front of the back door. "Why are you so pissed at her?" He asked moving to the left as Greg fixed his gun on him and moved to the right.

Just a few more steps and he'd be in front of the door "Because do you know how long it was before she actually forgot about you?" Edward wasn't paying that much attention but he was curious about what Greg was talking about "What do I have to do with this?" taking another step to the left as Greg moved to the right. Al couldn't wait so he threw the door open and grabbed Greg from the back knocking the gun from his hand. Greg struggled in Al's grasp as he continued to spout his bullshit yelling at Winry "You're such a bitch. I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING AND ALL YOU COULD THINK ABOUT WAS HIM!" Winry pleaded with him again not to say anything "Please Greg DON'T!" her voice raised as Greg looked at Edward and smiled deviously "She hasn't told you yet that she's in love with you." It took Edward a few seconds to process what he had just said and turning to Winry with a confused look "You're in love with me?" Her eyes filled with tears as she looked at Edward "I-I-I" she turned and ran out in tears figuring Edward didn't feel the same and that asshole just spilled her biggest secret. Greg just kept spouting shit as Winry ran out in tears "Have you slept with her yet? She's a good lay. Taking her was the best thing I ever did even though she was in love with you. Now you'll never have her innocence because you were too stupid and left. HAHAHAHA!" Edward was still watching Winry run away but he heard everything Greg said as his blood boiled and he cracked his neck turning around to face Greg "NO! YOU'RE THE FUCKING STUPID ONE! SHE'S PROBABLY THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SORRY ASS BUT YOU WERE TOO BLINDED BY JEALOUSY THAT YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT WORK!" He was so pissed he just kicked Greg in the face as Al kept hold of him and leaning down next to Greg's ear Edward whispered something that enraged him even more "I may not have had her innocence but I tell you right now I will have her for the rest of my life and love her the way she should be you fucking piece of shit." Al's eyes widened knowing his brother was enraged at this point and that Ed just admitted his feelings for Winry. Standing back up Edward looked at Al "Hold him I'll be right back." Al nodded as he tightened his grip on Greg.

AN: Sorry people have to end it here but the next chapter will be the continence.


	10. MHIHChapter 10

My heart is Heavy chap. 10

Al had Greg around the neck as he struggled in his arms so Al tightened his grip "Time for you to take a nap buddy" Al squeezed as Greg hit the floor like a wet noodle. Winry was running so fast she didn't notice the rock she tripped over and fell to the ground sobbing '_Edward must think I'm a complete hopeless fool'_ she thought as she sat there and sobbed. Then she heard someone calling her "WINRY!" it was Edward '_Oh no he came after me'_ spotting her on the ground he started to run towards her but she stood up and started to run and he stopped and yelled "STOP DAAAAAMN IT!" She froze as she heard him walk up behind her and she turned to face him. He stared at her for a moment then walked closer to the pitiful broken woman he saw in front of him and he pulled her into a hug "You idiot" He said softly as she cried. She could hear his heart beating and it was beating fast as he leaned her back and stared into her tear filled eyes "I never knew you felt that way Winry." She looked up at him and sighed "It was a foolish girl's dream Ed to ever think you could love someone like me."

"Someone like you? What does that mean?" He leaned closer to her face "If it was a foolish girl's dream then I guess I had a foolish boy's dream." She stared at him confused "W-What?" she asked softly as he smiled slightly "I have loved you for a long time Winry Rockbell but I never thought you felt the same so thinking that I left that day seventeen years ago and carried that secret with me." He took a deep breath "When I met Windy she looked so much like you that I just fell in love with her. She knew about you and it never bothered her. But as time went on I realized you were two completely different women. But I never lost the love I had for you I just buried it deep inside me." She smiled up at him "Are you saying you love me too Ed?" He leaned in and kissed her lips softly then leaned back "With all my heart but I couldn't figure out a way to tell you." Throwing her arms around his neck she hugged him tightly as he held onto her not wanting to let her go. But then he came crashing back to earth as he stepped back and she saw the look in his eyes "I'm going to take care of that piece of shit husband of yours." He took her hand as they started walking back to the house. Stopping outside he told her to wait with the kids as he started into the house. She feared Edward would kill him so she yelled after him "Edward don't fuck him up too bad okaaay." Edward turned around and looked at little Ed still unconscious "I can't make any promises Winry."

As he entered the kitchen he saw Greg unconscious on the ground and looked at Al "Wake that piece of shit up" Al walked over and took the pitcher of water and poured it in Greg's face. He came up coughing and spitting water as Edward stood there staring at him. When he looked up at Ed he just grinned "What are you going to do now alchemist?" Edward nodded to Al who grabbed Greg's arm and pulled him up. Greg saw the look in Edward's eyes as he walked towards him "So now you're going to beat me up huh?" Edward smiled "Hell yes I am." The kids had all gathered around the window to watch as Winry stared on eyes widened at the sight of how pissed Edward was.

Greg still thought he had a chance to beat Edward as he lunged forward and Edward stepped to the side then turned and kicked him in the back sending him into the kitchen table. Al stepped forward but Ed stopped him "No Al he's mine." Knowing his brother was fully capable of handling himself Al still feared as pissed as Edward was he was going to kill the guy. Greg flipped around and began his shit spouting again "You think your all that? I had her first and let me tell you I enjoyed making her SCREAM!" Taking a deep breath at that statement Edward walked over and grabbed Greg by the collar then pushed him up against the wall. Staring furiously into Gregory's eyes he gritted his teeth and his right hand tightened into a fist.

"First you hurt my son" Swinging his arm Edward caught Greg in the face as blood flew from his lip. "Then you threw your own SON!" His fist connected once more to Greg's face gritting his teeth more he pushed his left arm into Greg's throat choking him "YOU CHOCKED MY DAUGHTER!" Then Edward stepped back some and Greg chocked some looking up at him and smiling a sarcastic smile and Ed lost it "Not to mention you hit Winry and tried to KILL HER!" Edward reared back his leg and brought it up and it connected with the side of Greg's head sending him sideways sliding down the wall. The all hell broke loose as Edward jumped on Greg and threw punch after punch and kick after kick kicking Greg's ass all over the kitchen. He was so furious that a man could hurt his own child that he snapped. The children watched in complete amazement at the way he moved, he was quick and fast and Greg never had a chance to get off the floor. Finally Winry had had enough as she ran into the kitchen "AL STOP HIM BEFORE HE KILLS HIM!" Al looked over at her then back to Edward "NO!" He said and Winry's eyes widened at him saying that because she knew then that Al didn't care if Ed did or not. "EDWARD!" she yelled as Edward picked Greg up off the ground and held him to his face. Pinako walked up behind Winry from where she had been watching the whole time "Don't stop him dear Ed knows what he's doing and he won't kill him." Clinching her hands to her chest Winry kept watching as Edward began to speak to a fucked up Gregory "You will sign those divorce papers and you will leave her and the boys alone or I swear the next time I see you I will kill you. Oh yeah and your military career is over as well once I make a phone call" Pulling his hand back one more time he landed the last punch that knocked Greg out cold on the floor.

Edward turned around and looked at Al "Can you take this garbage out of here?" Al nodded and walked over and picked Greg up by the back of the shirt and pulled him outside. Taking a deep breath Edward turned to Winry and saw her lip still bleeding. He walked over and got a towel and wet it then went to her took her hand and walked her over, flipped the chair up and sat her in it. Grabbing another chair and sitting it in front of her he sat down and placed the towel gently on her busted lip. The children had all came inside by then and looked at the destruction of the kitchen. Then all their eyes focused on the two people sitting in the chairs across from each other. Edward lowered his head as his bangs fell forward and sighed "I wouldn't have killed him Winry even though I wanted to. I'm sorry I wasn't here to protect you before." Her eyes widened as she stared at the top of his head. Reaching her shaking hand over she ran it up his cheek then back down under his chin and pulled his head up. When his face came up she saw the tears in his eyes and she moved his hand with the towel, leaned forward and kissed him.

All the kids were stunned but there were echo's of "AWWWW!" as Steven yelled "IT'S ABOUT TIME DAD!" Melissa clapped her hands and was happy "YAY! Kisses, kisses are good daddy!" Winry smiled as her lip split more and she cringed. Reaching up Edward put the towel back on it as she leaned back as he started to stand he leaned over and kissed her forehead. He walked over to Steven who was still holding little Ed and he took him from Steven's arms. Steven looked at his father "He fought well dad. He landed two kicks to my one on the guy." Edward slightly smiled and softly said "He did huh." Winry stood up and ran over to where Edward took her unconscious son "Ed is he alright?" Edward checked the bump on the back of the boy's head "Yeah I'm sure he'll be fine. It looks like a concussion and I'm sure he'll be up in a couple of days rearing to go." Winry went and got some bandages and handed them to Edward as he bandaged the boy's head. Still looking at the tuff little guy's face he remembered what his father had called him and it still pissed him off. These were great boys and they deserved to be loved by their father and he couldn't understand why a father would hit his child and hurt him so badly. Just then Ed's eyes opened slightly as he looked at Edward "Heeey little man how do you feel?" Ed's eyes looked at his mom "I tried to save you mom." Winry's eyes filled with tears as she looked at him and Edward remembered saying those same words when he was younger. Memories of the failed transmutation he and his brother performed flooded his mind as he teared up himself. Looking down at Ed he smiled softly "You did a fine job son." He hadn't even realized what he had said but Ed's eyes widened and he smiled some "Thank you." Winry had heard what he said and she started to cry more as Edward turned around and asked "Why are you crying Winry?" She hugged his neck tightly "Because Edward I love you so much." He whispered in her ear "I love you too." He leaned her back and smiled "Now take care of the little fighter I have a phone call to make." She nodded "Mmm hmm" and turned to tend to Ed.

Steven walked next to his father "What do you have planned now father?" Edward put his hand on the boys head and scuffed his hair "I have to talk to an old friend son." Picking up the phone and dialing the number his obnoxious voice answered the phone "Fuhrer Mustang here."

"Hey you obnoxious asshole it's me."

"Why is thisd the Fullmetal Alchemist?" Mustang teased as Edward got more annoyed "Listen carefully you pompous ass Winry's husband showed up here and well….he needs to be taken care of before I do something I'm going to regret." It was then Mustang's voice changed "What happened Ed?" Edward explained in full detail probably due to his giving reports in the military for so many years. Mustang asked if Ed could hold onto Greg for a couple of days while he sent someone for him. Edward didn't really like the idea but he agreed "I'll have Armstrong there as soon as possible." Edward sighed "Alright then I'll be waiting goodbye." Mustang yelled "HEY!" in the phone and Edward put it back to his ear "WHAT!" There was a grateful and sincere tone in Mustang's voice as he said "It's good to have you back Ed." Edward annoyed he'd say that just said "Yeah Goodbye Fuhrer." Then he hung up but he felt reassured that his friends were still there for him.

Hanging the phone up he saw Al walk back in "We have to hold onto him for a few days because Mustang's sending someone to get him." Al nodded knowing they'd have to keep an eye on him "Where should we put him brother?" Edward thought leaving him outside would be good but that was inhumane and Edward wasn't one for treating people wrong and then he thought keeping him in the basement was a good idea because he wanted him to hear the way a lady should be treated and he was going to make Greg more pissed than he already was. Who said Edward didn't have a devious streak. So Al put him in the basement and he woke up some as Edward stood in front of him "For the next few days you're my prisoner. Even though you hear things you don't like I better not hear a peep out of you." He had gotten a copy of Winry's divorce papers and he had them in his hand as he threw them to Al "Untie his hand so he can sigh those then he can listen while I take his wife from him the way it should have been in the first place." Greg glared at Edward as he sighed the papers then Al retied his hands tightly.

Walking up the stairs Al turned to Edward "What are you going to do brother?" Edward had a very devious streak going through him at this point and he wasn't going to tell anyone what he was going to do. But he wanted this man to know that Winry was no longer his and that she belonged to someone else.

The next day Edward asked Al to take all the kids to the river and he made sure granny had her afternoon pills. That woman would sleep through an elephant stampede with those pills. After Al and the kids had left he checked on granny and she was passed out cold. Walking into the kitchen where Winry was washing dishes he cleared his throat and she turned around to see him standing there in his sweats with no shirt on. He had a very seductive look on his face as he walked closer to her and held the papers out "He sighed these so now you're free Winry." She smiled at him and took the papers as she stared at him standing there. For a moment it seemed like time had stopped but then a sudden urge came over her looking at him and she threw the papers and rushed forward slamming her lips into his. That was all he needed as he staggered frontwards and pushed her to the wall kissing her deeply and passionately as seventeen years of pinned up passion was released. Their hands were all over each other's bodies as she whispered in his ear between biting his ear lobe "I want you Ed." Smiling a sideways smile he reached under her skirt and pulled her underwear down and as they dropped to the floor she stepped out of them. Then he lifted her legs and put them around his waist as he pinned her to the wall. As he continued ravishing her lips he untied his sweats and let them drop while his hand ventured under her shirt to her breast. Feeling a sense of excitement but fear Winry let out a sigh of pleasure as he entered her with one thrust and took her right there in the kitchen. Holding on for dear life to him she felt as though she were going to explode with passion as he thrust one after the other inside her. Moaning out loud at the feel of her Edward buried his face in her neck thrusting as hard as he could as she let out screams of pleasure that would have woke the whole house if anyone was home.

Greg sat in the basement feeling a sickening feeling in his stomach as he listened to this alchemist claim his wife for his own. The sheer sounds of her moans and screams of pleasure made his heart sink.

Finally with one last thrust Edward spilled his seed inside of her and leaning his head back he kissed her out of breath mouth. Pulling his head back and smiling slightly at her she placed her hands on his cheeks and smiled bringing his lips back to hers. This was what her life was supposed to be like this was the way she was supposed to feel about a man. It was a sheer yearning to be touched by that person and never let them go, to become one with someone and feel that your hearts are connected through some strange invisible thread. He pulled out and sat her on her shaking legs as he reached over and pulled her skirt down then reached down and grabbed his sweats and brought them up.

Holding her was the only thing he was missing in his life and now….Now he had made her his. He bent down and picked up her underwear and smiled as he handed them to her "This was just the trial run for later my love but later you can't be so loud." She blushed and snickered at him as he grabbed her and pulled her to him and pressed his lips firmly against hers and she felt her knees weaken as he leaned his head back "Know this Winry I will make you happy and I will protect you and your boys. I will never raise a hand to you or your children now that your mine." She was speechless at what he had just said and as he turned and left her standing there utterly speechless he descended the basement stairs.

Looking over to Greg he glared at him then his head fell forward and his right fist tightened "Know this, she is mine now and you will leave her and her boys alone." Lifting his head Edward's eyes looked like they were on fire and it made Greg rethink his intentions of revenge on Edward for taking his wife. As Edward walked closer he grinned deviously "If I ever see or hear you've been around her or those boys I will kill you." Greg swallowed hard as Edward turned and walked back up the stairs leaving the guy utterly speechless, wifeless, and childless.

AN: I'm sorry at the end of this I got a sudden devious streak that played out through Edward. LOL!


	11. MHIHChapter 11

My Heart is Heavy chap.11

Later that night after putting her boys to bed Winry walked into the room where she and Ed had been sleeping to find him sitting cross legged on the bed writing things down for Steven. As she entered he looked up and smiled at her as she walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. He could tell something was weighing on her mind so he put his pencil down. "Winry what's bothering you?" She looked over and smiled at him "I'm just wondering where we go from here and how the kids are going to handle this Ed." He laid the paper aside and leaned upon his knees and got behind her and reaching his hand up he moved her hair to the side to expose her neck as he leaned down and began to kiss it. "Where ever you want to go Winry and I'm sure the kids will be fine." He said in between kisses as she started to enjoy his kisses leaning her head back as he found her mouth with his lips. He leaned to the side and let her lay backwards as he positioned himself over her face "Winry whatever you want is what I want." She stared up at him and not in her wildest dreams did she ever think he would be here with her. Motioning his eyes for her to bring her whole body on the bed he stood up and laid over her as he caressed her body with his hand and she got lost in his touch. Arching her back as he kissed her neck she let out a slight breathy moan as he took her to another place. That night Edward made love to her so passionately that she found herself thinking if he loved his wife like this. But she quickly shook the thought from her mind because it didn't matter he was with her now. Even if he had she could tell how they had been married sixteen years he was an awesome lover so much that he brought her to climax multiple times. Never before had anyone loved her quite like this and she didn't want it to end.

As they finished he looked at her with such love in his eyes and smiled "You weren't so loud this time didn't you enjoy it?" She giggled at him and blushed as she said softly "That's what I was doing was enjoying it and you Edward." As he reached his hand up and moved her bangs that were covered in sweat to the side he leaned his forehead down to hers "This is the way I promise it will be all the time. I will always make you feel like the most beautiful sexist woman in the world." _'OH MY GOD WHERE HAS HE BEEN ALL MY LIFE!? Oh yeah here and on the other side' _she thought as she snickered and he sat up "Edward as long as you just love me that's all that matters." He leaned back down and kissed her forehead "I'll love you till there's no breath left in my body." Then getting out of bed he stood up as she checked out his butt and smiled to herself as he put his sweats on. She felt like this whole thing was a dream and if it was she didn't want to wake up. Reaching down she grabbed her nightgown and put it on as she got out of bed and ran around and hugged him tightly as a stunned look crossed his face somewhat "What's this?" She looked up and smiled "I'm just making sure your truly here Ed. I don't want to wake up tomorrow and you're gone." Putting his finger under her chin he raised he head "I'm not going anywhere Winry. I'm not opening anymore portals and the only alchemy I'm going to do is teaching Steven unless the occasional problem arises and I have to use it so don't worry I'm here to stay."

Just then there was a knock at the door so she let him go and he went to answer it. Upon opening the door he was met by six faces staring at him "Hmmm" slightly smiling he stared at each one "You guys have something on your mind?" Winry's eyes widened as they asked to come in. So Edward turned and they followed him in the room as he sat on the bed while Winry stood next to it thinking maybe they were going to disapprove of her and Edward.

Steven scratched his head then stood up straight "We've all been talking." Edward looked at him "Have you now?" Nina started fidgeting with her fingers as she then looked up at both of them "Yeah dad we have." Wondering what they were up to because he knew his kids well he sighed "So what's on your minds?"

Little Al blurted out "We want you to be our dad!" Edward's eyes widened as Winry gasp then tried to explain "Uh, Al honey-" But Edward stopped her "I see little man so is that how your brother feels too?" Ed shook his head yes as Edward smiled "Well that's up to your mother." Edward said looking at Winry but Caroline butted in at that point "We also want Winry as our mother dad." Melissa then cheered and clapped "YAY! Mommy, mommy."

Steven looked at his father again "Yeah we were all thinking that since you guys loved each other once maybe you could love each other again? Not trying to replace mom but Winry would be a great mom." Tears formed in Winry's eyes as she looked at all these faces staring at her. These beautiful children who had lost their mother and had to live with her looking just like her had accepted her and her boys had accepted Edward. She wondered if that was because Edward had been more to a father to them in a month than their father had been in eleven years.

Edward sat there and stared at all these children and knew each one had had a hard time with a parent at some point but they were all willing to come together as one to be loved. So he stood up and turned to Winry "Well Miss Rockbell what do you say? We have six people here who think we should be together." She looked at them all again trying to not scream out YES but these were kids that had been raised differently by their mother and it would be a tall order for her. But then she thought '_What the hell I love them all.'_ Edward was getting sort of nervous for a moment because she was taking her time to answer and he knew that taking on four other children would be hard but just as he thought '_Maybe it's too much'_ she blurted out "YES!" and he breathed a sigh of relief as the children exploded into cheers of "YAAAAAY!" and rushed forward and grabbed onto them.

Taking on the role of father for two boys who had been treated harshly by there's was something Edward really didn't mind. He would show these boys that a father loves you and can also be your friend. Winry had always wanted a girl too now she was getting three and she thought that was awesome because now she could do their hair and be a friend to them. She didn't want to replace their mother she just wanted to be a mother that was there for them in all their time of need. After the hugging stampede Edward looked at them all "Alright time for bed everyone." Looking at the boys "We have work to do tomorrow boys so you need your sleep." They all smiled and said "Yes dad."

Nina turned to Winry "Can we hang out tomorrow and maybe you can show us how to make apple pie." Caroline laughed "Yeah we're not that great in the kitchen but we'd like to learn" She hesitated a moment then smiled "Mom." Winry grabbed all the girls and pulled them in for a hug "I would love to show you girls how to bake apple pie." She said with tears flowing form her eyes. Letting the girls go all the children turned and exited the room. As the door closed after Steven gave his father a thumbs-up and a cocky smile Edward turned and walked over to Winry. Standing behind her he wrapped his arms around her waist and whispered in her ear "And you were worried." Leaning her head back against his chest she realized that this family had grown quite large in just a little time. "With six mouths to feed I guess I better find a job." Edward said taking her hand and he heart stopped at him saying he needed to find a job all he ever knew was the military and she didn't want him joining back up. He turned and got on the bed and patted the place next to him "Not to mention the ones we'll have together" he smiled raising his eyebrows.

'_Oh, my gosh'_ she hadn't thought about that she was still at the child bearing age. Was he planning on having more kids? Her question was answered as she leaned back and he lay over her and began to raise her nightgown with his hand. _'His_ _stamina is incredible!'_ she thought as she realized she had never made love more than once in a night. As she stared at him she smiled and giggled "Again Ed?" He leaned up from kissing her neck "I can't seem to get enough of you."

The next morning she woke up in a great mood whistling as she caught herself '_I have never felt this great in the morning' _shethought looking down at the golden haired man lying next to her still peacefully sleeping with his hand on his stomach and a little drool coming from the corner of his open mouth. Smiling to herself she got up and got dressed and started downstairs to make breakfast.

Getting everything ready she reached into the potato box and realized they were out of potatoes so she had to go get some from the basement. So putting the pan down then turned and walked to the door opening it and got halfway down the stairs when she realized that Greg was down there. Hoping she could get the potatoes and leave without any confrontation she hurried to the box holding them. Grabbing one after another and setting them in her arms.

"Well aren't you just Holly homemaker now?" An angry voice came from behind her as she stood up and walked forward some "I'm sorry about this Greg but you gave Ed no choice. I can't believe you did that to Al, Your own son. How could you?" She wanted him to answer but all he did was spout more shit at her "I heard you and him yesterday in the kitchen. God you sounded like two wild cats going at it." 'He heard that?' she thought as she dropped her head in embarrassment and he knew when her head went down he had the upper hand "Just couldn't wait could you? To get those long skinny legs wrapped around him. You never could get him out of your mind. Why I bet when we first got together you probably imagined me as him while we made love." When he said that he blood began to boil and before she knew it she blurted "Yeah your right I did. I mean Edward was always the one I loved so I thought if I imagined you were him I could get through that slobbering drunk molestation you called SEX!" Greg's eyes filled with hate as he tried to lunge at her "YOU NEVER COULD FORGET HIM! What did he ever do for you except leave you pitiful ass here when he left?"

She stood up straight and took a deep breath and her eyes filled with such rage "You're the one who would never let me forget him. Every time I was over him you'd mention him again and yes I'd start thinking about him." Her head slumped forward "It was like you enjoyed seeing me in pain." She said softly as she then raised her head and her temper fumed again "So GO AHEAD GREG SAY ALL YOU WANT! EVERYTHING WE EVER HAD TOGETHER WAS A LIE ANYWAY! YOU'LL NEVER BREAK ME I WAS YOURS BUT I'M NOT YOURS ANYMORE. YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING JERK FOR HURTING YOUR SON AND I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!" She gave him one last glare "YOU DON'T OWN ME ANY LONGER!" She then saw his eyes widen as she turned and slammed right into Edward's chest almost dropping the potatoes. Edward saw the fire in her eyes and his eyes softened as he kissed he forehead gently and took a deep breath then softly said "If you would have woke me I would have come and got those for you so you wouldn't have to come down here." Her eyes lowered and a saddened look crossed her face "I'm sorry Ed." He just smiled slightly "Take the potatoes and go back upstairs Winry." She nodded and then walked around him back up the stairs leaving him with Greg alone.

Edward walked slowly forward towards Greg "You know you had everything and I don't understand how you could have fucked it up so bad. Answer me this Greg did you enjoy causing her pain by mentioning me when she forgot about me? Or was it just your sick way of getting off secretly?" Sitting slightly on Winry's worktable Edward smiled "You know when I first came back I was envious of you that Winry had had children with someone else or even married them for that matter. Jealousy raged and I couldn't understand why but then I realized that my older brother had rubbed off on me some. That's why I guess I took her where you could hear it. You see my older brother was the devious one but I guess in that moment I heard his voice telling me to cause you pain and make you pay by letting you hear her screams of pleasure." He stopped and chuckled some "But you just couldn't deal with it could you the fact that she loved me and not you. But what I truly don't understand is why if it bugged you so damn bad did you marry her?"

Greg grinned a devious grin at Edward "Have you seen that body of hers. The only way I could screw her was to marry her."

Edward stood up and sighed than gave Greg a devious look "Ah yes I have seen and taken her body many times over the past twenty four hours. But if that was the whole reason you married her then why did you stay so long and even have children?" Greg got a confused look on his face then he lowered his head "Because I guess I liked inflicting pain on her. It was so easy to torture her just by mentioning your name." Edward laughed loudly as his head went backwards "Oh my gosh I have to thank you. You see when I got back she was very timid. That outburst a moment ago when she told you she was no longer yours. Was the first time she's lost it that bad and not burst into tears since I've been here and now I know she'll be okay. She'll be the same old wrench toting, cracking me upside the head with it Winry that she was when I left." Leaning closer to Greg Edward gave him a little bit of information "You see Greg with family come's strength and with strength come's me and with me comes Al and with Al comes Winry. That's what makes the circle complete between us. It always has and it always will be. So when Al and I came back Winry was no longer alone her circle completed again." Greg gave Edward a confusing look as Edward grinned "You had it all man and you threw it away. If you would have just tried you could have had the best thing ever." Edward turned and started to walk off then stopped at the bottom of the stairs "I don't expect you to understand alchemy and chemical attractions but once a chemical attracts to another and they blend into something powerful it's hard to get that chemical to bond with anything else unless it's equal to the first." Smiling and leaning his head forward "Do you hear what I'm saying?" Greg understood what Edward said perfectly what he meant was as soon as Winry was attracted to Edward no one else could take his place in her heart unless they were his equal and Greg realized at that point that he never even measured up to Edward for the bad ways he caused his wife pain and treated her.

As Edward walked up the stairs he came to the conclusion that Greg had inflicted emotional pain on Winry that doubled the physical pain he dealt her. So the emotional would be the one to concentrate on. So his first priority was to make sure she knew she was loved and supported to the best of his ability and knowledge. He was really starting to hate Gregory at this point and he really wasn't sure if he was going to live long enough for Armstrong to arrive.


	12. MYIH Chapter 12

AN: Yes Greg is a shithead he is actually based off I guy I used to know who was a piece of work himself. Just as Scott was in my one shot 'You've got two choices'. Sometimes old memories and acquaintances make the best villains and characters. LOL!

My Heart is Heavy chap.12

As Edward walked back up into the kitchen Winry was busy making breakfast. Edward looked around for Al it seemed Al had been a little scarce since yesterday. So turning he asked Winry "Have you seen Al?" She shook her head as she continued cooking. So he walked into the living room where Al had been sleeping and all his blankets were folded in a nice little pile. Edward got a confused look "That's odd he's gone somewhere." Scratching his head he turned back around and headed upstairs thinking '_What the hell's my brother up too it's seven o'clock in the morning?'_ getting to the room Edward quickly dressed and went back downstairs.

Winry was just about finished with breakfast as Edward walked in "Do you need some help?" She smiled up at him "No I got it." He walked over to her and placed his hands on shoulders "Listen Winry I don't want you to go back in the basement. If there's something you need have someone else get it please." She looked up at him and she knew he didn't want her anywhere near Greg. So she complied with his suggestion "Sure thing Ed." He smiled and kissed her forehead feeling a sense of relief then turning he looked around "You sure you haven't seen Al?" Busying herself she didn't want to tell Ed she had seen Al with Brenda Johnson yesterday early in the morning before he went to town. Brenda Johnson was a childhood friend of theirs who used to have a crush on Edward but Winry changed her mind quickly with some serious talking. She wasn't going to let any girl near Edward back then and that was before she started to like him herself.

Al had met Brenda on the way to town yesterday and she was quite surprised to see the younger Elric. She had asked about him and Edward and where they had been. So as they walked to town Al proceeded to tell her what had happened and where they had been. She was truly taken by Al he had grown into a handsome man now at the age of thirty one. Slightly taller than Ed but with the same handsome Elric features Al's hair was shoulder length now. He used to wear it short but lately he hadn't had time to cut it. Still short in the front though it framed his face beautifully and his smile was as bright as a sunny day. She enjoyed listening to him talk about where they had been and what they had done on the other side. Explaining about Edward's wife and what had happened with him he explained that was the reason they came back. He told her he feared he would lose Ed too if they would have stayed. So after they got to town and he picked up Winry's supplies Brenda had invited him for an all day picnic the next day. He thought about telling her no because of the Greg situation but then he realized if Greg caused any problems Ed would just murder him and bury him in the back yard. Not wanting that to happen either he hesitated but she talked him in to it and he knew Edward needed no help with his prisoner. So getting up the next morning early Al got dressed and left for his picnic with Brenda.

Edward's head rose hearing the tromping of little feet across the ceiling. Winry's head went up too as she got a confused look and he smiled "Melissa's up she always does a marathon around the room. She must have lost that bunny again." He chuckled heading out the door but Winry stopped him "Would you mind if I went?" shrugging her shoulders "I'm going to have to get used to it sooner than later and now's the best time." He got a stunned but surprised look as he stepped back "Sure if you want to but you have to find the bunny or she won't be happy." He stopped Winry before she was about to walk out "Check under the mattress last." Giving him a puzzled look she just nodded and headed upstairs.

As she opened the door she was amazed at her room it was torn up and Caroline and Nina were sitting crossed legged on the bed wiping their eyes because Melissa had woke them up. Melissa was on the floor with her little butt in the air looking under the dresser "Bunny, Bunny where are you?" Winry swore if she leaned anymore on her head she'd completely flip over as she smiled and walked in "Melissa" she said softly "What's the matter?" the girl turned to her with tear filled eyes "Mr. bunny has ran away again." Nina groaned "Uhhhhh, we go through this every morning." Caroline slammed back down on the bed "I swear if I find him first I'll strangle him then he'll never run away again." Melissa's eyes widened and her little Edward temper bumped through her body as her chest puffed up "NO YOU WON'T!" Winry walked over and picked her up as her little antenna on her head twitched up and down. "Now girls I'll find Mr. Bunny why don't you get ready for breakfast?" They both threw the covers off "FIIIIIINE" as they marched out the door to fight over the bathroom in the hallway.

As Winry smiled at Melissa and put her down to help her find Mr. Bunny she heard Edward come up the stairs to stop the fight in the hallway for the bathroom. "Where have you looked?" She asked Melissa and the girl pointed to different places so Winry got on her knees and searched for about fifteen minutes but she found no bunny then she remembered what Edward said about the mattress. So she walked over and pulled the mattress up and low and behold there lay Mr. Bunny. Melissa screamed with excitement "You found him! Thank you! Thank you Mommy!" Winry was stunned for a moment at the girl's words but when she ran over and grabbed the bunny then hugged Winry's leg all Winry could do was smile. Edward poked his head in the door "I have defused the bathroom situation. How you guys doing in here?" Melissa laughed and held up Mr. Bunny "Mommy found Mr. Bunny daddy and I didn't even have to tell her where he was." Winry got a confused look as Edward pushed the door open more and his head lowered somewhat "It was a game Windy and her would play in the morning and I haven't been able to get her to stop." Winry looked down at this little giggling child and just smiled as she picked her up and hugged her. It touched her heart that Melissa would let her join in this game her and her mother used to play. Melissa then leaned towards Winry's ear and whispered "Daddy wasn't very good at the game at first but you got it right off." Knowing that without Edward's help she would have never found that bunny. She just smiled at him and mouthed a thank you as he winked at her because the girls were at it again in the hall but now Steven was in on it. As he turned he yelled "HEY! Can we stop this please?" Looking at Steven dancing around Edward sighed "If you got to go that bad son go find a bush outside." Steven nodded and turned and fled the scene post haste to find a bush.

Looking at his girls and pointing his finger "From now on there's a ten minute time limit on the bathroom." They both groaned in protest but he stuck strong to it as Winry walked into the hall holding Melissa and she held her arms out to her father and as he took her she turned and stuck her tongue out at her sisters and all Winry could do was snicker and shake her head '_This is going to take some getting used to'_ she thought as Caroline looked up and saw the look on her face "Are you alright? I swear we not like this all the time." Edward turned around and Winry just smiled "No I'm fine it's not you guys I just thought what your sister did was funny and it shocked me?" Nina smiled "Oh sticking her tongue out at us while dads not looking? Yeah she does that often." Stunned Edward looked at Melissa "Do you do that?" He asked her and she answered truthfully "Yes daddy because you can't pick them up anymore and I'm the widdliest." Shaking his head Edward turned and started for the stairs "Winry's made breakfast so I expect you down in ten minutes girls and tell your brothers too." They knew he meant to wake up little Edward and Al so Caroline started for the boy's bedroom door. Edward passed Steven on the stairs as he smiled and wiped his forehead with his hand "Whoa I almost didn't make that one dad." Edward patted his head "You know your sisters it's best to wake up before them. Haven't you learned that over these fifteen years?" giving Edward an annoyed look "Yes but sometimes I like to sleep in dad." Continuing down the stairs Edward chuckled and waved backwards over his shoulder "Then you better find a permanent bush outside boy."

The breakfast table was bustling in about twenty minutes and Winry made a plate for granny and took it to her. As she sat there with Pinako while she ate the old woman smiled up at her "The house is full of the sounds of children. I like this sound reminds me of when the boys were young and would come to get Ed's automail fixed. For those days the house would be filled with you and him arguing over maintaining his automail and Al trying to be peacemaker between you two."

Winry listened for a moment to all the commotion going on in the kitchen. She listened to Edward talk to the children and they talk back to him. It was like they had been a family the whole time. Her boys were talking to him about martial arts and he was answering their questions to the best of his knowledge. He would take his time to explain things to her boys that they didn't understand and that made her smile. Then she heard Steven tell the boys it was time to go out and practice and it was funny hearing her boys say "Yes brother." Steven had become the oldest just as Edward had been to Al and he had taken a special interest in little Al trying to teach him how to do his kicks. Getting up she walked to the window to watch the boys in the yard as she leaned against the window sill Pinako asked her one question "Are you happy dear?" Winry's attention never left the boys as she watched Steven teaching Ed and Al and she answered her granny truthfully and honestly "Yes granny I am very happy. I don't know what I would have done if Edward and Al wouldn't have come back when they did." Turning to face the old woman "I probably would be dead if Greg had anything to do with it. Or I'd be living in his slobbering drunk hell again." Smiling up at her granddaughter she said something that surprised Winry "Strange things have always surrounded both those boys but the glue that held all of you together was the unbreakable bond you have between you. Even though you were all far apart from each other that bond never died and now you're rediscovering it. It's a bond of friendship, heartache and love lost so Winry don't waste time on the past stuff just concentrate on the present stuff." Winry smiled as she walked over and picked up the plate when Pinako finished "Yes Granny." Pinako shooed her granddaughter out of the room at that point to go be with Ed while she got some rest.

Walking back to the kitchen she stopped at the door because of the sight she saw before her eyes that made her smile brightly. Edward and the girls were cleaning the kitchen as he hummed a cheerful tune and they were all dancing and washing dishes. He would take each one by the hand and twirl her under his arm as they continued cleaning. '_He's such a great father' _she thought as he looked up and saw her then walked over and slide his arm around her waist, grabbing the plate from her hand and handing it to Nina. Then he began to sway back and forth with her as he hummed his happy tune and the girls continued to dance. She got caught up in it herself as she found herself letting lose and dancing with him. This was something new to her she wasn't used to being this happy and Edward wanted to show her that happiness was part of a relationship. He wanted to show her that you could let loose and smile instead of being uptight all the time. But most of all he wanted to show her that love wasn't supposed to hurt you mentally or physically. After their little cleaning dance spree Edward made a plate and took it to the basement for Greg. Armstrong would be arriving either later today or early in the morning to take the bastard so he wanted to make sure the guy got the best hospitality he could muster. Which wasn't a lot because he thought the guy was a total piece of shit and he really thought him breathing was just a complete waste of good air. Getting into the basement he sat the plate in front of Greg "How am I supposed to eat with my hands tied?" Greg asked curiously as Edward turned around "How the hell should I know. Oh wait you're a dog so eat off the plate with your mouth you asshole." Greg's temper flared at that point "Sooooo have you been enjoying her quite frequently?" He said sarcastically to get a rise out of Edward but it backfired on him when Edward turned and smiled "That's none of your damn business but if you must know yes as a matter of fact I have." Then walking over and leaning down into Greg's face he smiled a devious smile that resembled Envy's "I know what you're doing and I'm not going to fall for it. Maybe if you would have done it years ago I would have beaten the hell out of you. But you see I don't let my temper get the best of me anymore. But if you want to die I probably could arrange that." Greg's eyes widened as he realized Edward wasn't joking and the things he'd heard about Edward's temper was a thing of the past. Knowing full well he couldn't get to Edward that way and that Edward wouldn't screw around with him he'd just kill him Greg placed his face over the plate and started eating. Edward lifted up and patted his head like a dog "Now that's a good boy. I'll sit here and watch you finish that." Walking over Edward sat on Winry's work bench remembering all the times he'd been in that basement for repairs. A slight smile crossed his face as he remembered the many arguments over maintenance and almost massive concussions he'd received from Winry's wrench connecting with his skull. When Greg had finished Edward walked over wiped his mouth and picked the plate up then turned and walked up the stairs out of the basement. Greg wondered how he could get under this alchemist's skin. His feeble outbursts weren't even affecting Edward and he only had till tomorrow to see if he could really try to get under this guy's skin. But what Greg didn't know is that Edward had grown up a lot on the other side. He had seen things that would make the military shutter to even think about. The technology he witnessed had made him think of only the future and what the world would become if these things came to pass. So when they failed to find the uranium bomb Edward had set his mind to just enjoy life and take it as it comes. Because fighting and losing his temper all the time only made him miss the finer things in life like his wife and children. The once great alchemist and fighter had found that chasing something all his life would just make him more uncontrollable so he hung that image up when he had children. His only concern was his children and making sure they had the best childhood they could have. He realized that your childhood is a precious thing and even though he and Al spent theirs on a search for a certain red stone they still had each other and he wanted his children to enjoy their childhood and their siblings.


	13. MHIHChapter 13

AN: I thank you guys for waiting I have been battling a nasty head and chest cold for the past week.

My Heart is Heavy chap.13

Walking out onto the front porch Edward watched as the boys practiced their kicks and throws. Noticing that there were two dots walking down the road he stared at them till they got somewhat closer and he realized one dot was extremely larger than the other. Jumping up he knew instantly that it was Major Armstrong well he was a Major General now but Ed wouldn't figure that out till he got closer and the other was…was…no I couldn't be, it was the Fuhrer himself that annoying pompous ass Mustang. '_Why the hell did he come?_' Edward thought to himself as he looked back at the boys. As they got closer he saw Armstrong's eye tear up as the huge man began to cry huge amounts of joyous tears and in his burly voice "I SEE YOU THERE EDWARD ELRIC" he ran for Ed but then stopped seeing Steven the spitting image of his father standing there and his attention went to the boy as tears flowed harder "OH MY DEAR BOY YOU LOOK JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER. COME LET ME GIVE YOU A MUSCULAR HUG!" then it happened he ripped his shirt off and Steven's mouth hit the ground "AHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed as he started running around the yard while Armstrong chased him "I WILL SHOW YOU LIKE I SHOWED YOU FATHER THE HUG THAT HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN IN THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS." Steven turned to his dad as he passed him "AREN'T YOU GOING TO HELP ME DAD? THERE'S A HALF NAKED MAN CHASING ME!" Chuckling Edward smiled and shook his head "He's harmless but I WOULD KEEP RUNNING IF I WERE YOU. HE LIKES TO RUB HIS CHEST ON YOU WHEN HE HUGS!" Laughing ominously Edward turned to Mustang and his face straightened "Fuhrer what brings you here?"

Mustang stopped next to Edward on the porch and just then Winry came out "Ed I need-"She was cut short by Mustang taking her chin in his hand and turning it to examine her busted lip. His eyes narrowed as he exhaled deeply taking his hand from her chin then he turned to look at Armstrong "Major General that's quite enough of chasing the boy. We have other things to attend to." Armstrong stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Mrs. Winry's lip and he walked over looking at Edward "So sorry for any inconvenience the man has caused you." Mustang snorted at Armstrong "Just put your shirt back on." Then he looked at Ed "Where is he?" Turning Edward waved "Follow me" He said starting into the house to the basement door then descended down the stairs. When they got to the bottom Mustang walked into the light and looked at Greg "Tell me now why I shouldn't fry your ass where it sits?" putting his hand to his chin "Hmmm, Or I could just give you to Fullmetal here and turn a blind eye to what he'll do to you."

Greg began to whine "Sir I just-"Mustang's temper flared "SILENCE! You coward!" walking over he knelt before Greg "I told you when you married her that she was to be treated with the utmost respect and now you throw that in my face by coming here and trying to kill her." Leaning back he stared at Greg for a moment which made Greg quite nervous "Nobody treats my friends this way especially not a jealous drunken piece of shit like you." Standing up Mustang turned to Edward and feeling he owed him an apology his face straightened and he looked at the golden haired man standing in front of him that wasn't a boy any longer "I'm sorry Edward I should have kept a better eye on her." A little shocked that Mustang had apologized Edward inhaled deeply "Well I'm just glad I was here when I was because it could have turned out a lot worse." Mustang's head shot in Greg's direction "Yes then we would be having a totally different conversation. I have to agree with you there Fullmetal. Now what do you want done with him?"

Edward stood there for a moment and leaned back on the door frame crossing his arms over his chest "I want him to forget that he ever had children or a wife. I want him to stay away from them. As far as I'm concerned his children are now mine. I will raise them as my own and be the father they deserve and the person Winry deserves." Mustang looked down at Greg "We'll I don't think we'll have any problem with that because he's going away for a very long time for attempted murder and he'll be kicked out of the military and he'll spend his time in a civilian prison."

Edward walked closer to Mustang wondering why he had come out here with Armstrong "So Fuhrer, tell me what brought you out this far away from Central?" Mustang gave Edward a cocky smile "I came to see an old friend." Just then Armstrong broke into tears and as they flowed down his face he grabbed Edward and squeezed him "EDWARD ELRIC I HAVE MISSED YOU!" Edward squirmed in his arms "I missed you too but you're squeezing me too tight you big galoot." Mustang smiled slightly at the scene in front of him seeing the over grown muscle man hugging the once feisty young alchemist. Then his face turned to the man who tried to kill the one person he swore to protect after Edward had left and his eye's narrowed again. He would make sure Greg paid for all the things he did to Winry and the boys and he would especially pay for not following Mustang's order's to stay away from her. He leaned down next to Greg again "I suppose now you realize that you fucked up royally soldier. Because you see he's like family and so is Winry and I warned you before but you wouldn't listen. Well now I hope you'll listen from now on if you know what's good for you." Turning his head to look at Edward he smiled "I'm just glad he's back to give her the life she deserved to have in the first place." Standing up as screams echoed from Edward in the background to Armstrong to not rub his chest on him Mustang's face straightened as he turned "Alright Major General let the kid go." Armstrong's face raised as a pouty look crossed it and he let Ed go. Then he smiled at Edward and looking around "Where's your brother Edward?" Knowing full well Armstrong was going to smother Al with a bear hug Edward sighed "I don't know he left early this morning. But I hope he'll be back soon." Waving the Fuhrer and Armstrong to the stairs Edward smiled "Let's get out of here." All the men walked up the stairs to the kitchen where Winry had made them some tea. Mustang didn't know how he was going to apologize to Winry about the whole situation but he stared at her standing there and when she was done pouring the tea he placed his hand over hers "I am truly sorry about all of this Winry. If I would have known he was this far gone I would have taken care of him sooner."

"It's alright Fuhrer you did the best you could." Smiling at him she reached for the sugar bowl and placed it in front of him. He reached out and took some and before placing it in his tea he glanced up at her "Riza wanted to be here but the kids had their target practicing test today." Edward almost chocked on his tea _'He has kids? Oh my gosh this is too funny.'_ Snickers came from behind Edward's cup as he visualized Mustang's kids brandishing sniper rifles and transmutation gloves lighting everything in their way on fire and of course completely useless on rainy days. Setting his cup down and trying to fight the laughter from escaping his lips Edward looked at Mustang "Sooooo you have kids?" Just then all four of his children walked in with Winry's two boys who ran to Mustang yelling "UNCLE!" He hugged little Ed and Al and smiled "How are you boys today?" They both smiled "Great now that Edward is here." Little Edward put his fist in front of him "Yeah you should have seen what he did to that worthless father of ours." Winry stepped in at that point "Alright boys that's enough I think Uncle Mustang knows firsthand what Edward is capable of." Mustang sat back in his chair and stared at Edward's four children and stopped at Steven "Wow it's like going back fifteen years. You look just like your dad at that age all you need is that stupid red jacket." Edward's temper flared "Hey that jacket was cool!" Mustang laughed and waved his hand "If you say so Fullmetal!" Shaking his annoying anger off Edward turned to his kids "Fuhrer may I introduce you to my kids." Pointing to his son "This is Steven, Nina, Caroline and Melissa." Melissa walked over by Mustang and stuck Mr. Bunny in his face "Mr. Bunny says you need a kiss" as she placed the bunny on his face and made a kissing noise and he gently smiled.

Leaning down he patted her head "Tell Mr. Bunny thank you for the kiss I needed that." Melissa giggled and walked over to Edward as he picked her up and sat her on his lap. Mustang looked at Steven "My boy is about your age and my daughter is eight." Mustang smiled "Riza takes a special interest in training them for military life. Making sure they can defend themselves and their minds are on good careers." Edward chuckled "Sooo you haven't trained either one of them in flame alchemy have you?"

Taking his cup and putting it to his lips "No there is only one Flame alchemist and that's me Fullmetal." He took a sip and sat the cup down and looked over a Steven "What about your boy have you trained him in alchemy yet?" Steven glanced up at Mustang "He has started too but there's a lot I have to study first." Surprised at the boys answer Mustang smiled "Yes alchemy is not for the faint heart it is something to be studied and matured over time." Looking over to Edward Mustang smiled "So Ed how is your alchemy holding up? I may have a spot for you in the military if you'd like it." Winry heard that from the kitchen and stopped dead in her tracks. But to her surprise Edward kindly denied the Fuhrer's suggestion smiling "No thanks Fuhrer I have plenty here to keep me busy. But I was going to ask you-" Mustang was taking a sip of his tea as Edward smiled deviously "Do I get hazard pay for the seventeen years I was on the other side?" Spitting his tea out Mustang chocked as Edward continued "Because you know I've seen things that would make your skin crawl. You remember those ships right I have all that technology" Pointing to his head "Right up here."

It was then Mustang gave Edward a sideways grin knowing full well he could use the kid's knowledge to further the military arsenal. His eyes narrowed as he stared at Edward intrigued "So how much would this information be worth Edward?" Winry's eyes widened as she realized Edward was about to make a deal that would probably set them up for life with his knowledge.

"I tell you what Fuhrer I'll draw out everything and send them to you and you can pay me as I go. But I will not help in anything that will have me leave home or my family so if something comes up you don't understand you'll have to bring the problem to me." Edward stuck his hand forward towards Mustang as Mustang sighed and smiled and reached out and took it "Deal."

Just then the back door opened and Alphonse walked in and an unsuspecting Al was caught by the Major as he turned and shut the door "ALPHONSE ELRIC IT HAS BEEN SOOO LONG!" Tears flowed from the over grown muscle man's face as he squeezed Al. Al slightly smiled "Uh" he chuckled "Hello Major Armstrong" Edward gave Al a curious glance "Sooo Al where have you been this morning?" Al trying to loosen the Major's grip on him, "Uh just out walking brother." Just then Armstrong let go as Ed knew for sure his brother was hiding something from him. As Al walked by Edward caught the smell of what smelled like daisies and he knew it was a perfume and not just the smell of fresh flowers. As Al excused himself and headed for the living room Winry asked the men if they were going to stay. Then as they protested she argued with the Fuhrer that she couldn't have them traveling back on empty stomachs and no sleep so Mustang agreed that they would leave in the morning. She told them there were two patient cots in the basement and Mustang thought that would be great then he could keep an eye on that asshole Greg. Armstrong on the other hand wanted to visit with granny so he excused himself and went in to see the old woman and talk to her. As they day went on everyone enjoyed each other's company but there was still a slight tension in the air with Winry and Mustang being there. She thought for sure he wasn't going to let the whole thing with Edward coming back to the military just drop. Even though Edward had said no to the Fuhrer's offer she saw that gleam in his eye when Mustang had asked. She wondered if just maybe he was regretting his decision and she didn't want to be the one to hold him back from something he wanted to do. Edward had always been a free spirit, one to do things he wanted to do and not be held back. But now he had responsibilities and she hadn't been around him long enough to know how he handled things anymore. She could only read his body language of the old Edward she used to know and maybe she was reading it wrong but she thought there was a hint of disappointment that he had to pass on Mustang's offer. She would have to talk to Ed later to figure this out. He was more open about talking things out now and she wanted to make sure this was really what he wanted. Maybe it was just her insecurities? Maybe she was reading more into it than was truly there? She was having a hard time with her feelings lately because things in her life had changed dramatically since he and Al had come home. Now she was starting to give herself a headache as she excused herself and went upstairs to lie down. Edward noticed as she left she wasn't quite being herself so he gave her a couple of hours. He knew something had been eating at her ever since Mustang had gotten there and he just wanted this whole thing with Greg to go smoothly so she didn't get upset.


	14. MHIHChapter 14

My heart is Heavy chap.14

Winry must have slept for a couple of hours her mind was so stressed after the Fuhrer got there that she must have just passed out from exhaustion. Opening her eyes she put her hand to her head '_God I feel like I've been out for hours'_ Her mind was still racing with the thoughts of Edward regretting his decision not to join back up with the military. Then she heard the children playing and Armstrong's voice echoing with theirs as she walked to the window and opened it to see him and all the children playing a game of hide and seek. Below she could hear a slight conversation going on between Edward and the Fuhrer as she listened her worries were put to rest and she would never doubt Edward's decision again as she listened intensely hoping she wasn't going to hear something she didn't want to instead all she heard were two old friends having a heart to heart.

"Are you sure I can't change your mind Fullmetal?" Mustang said teasing him by calling him that. Edward sighed "You can call me by my name Fuhrer. I'm not one of your dog's anymore and besides no you can't change my mind."

Giving Edward a sideways grin Mustang sighed "Well the name suite you perfectly and it still does. Besides since you've been gone my life has gotten a little boring without anybody aggravating the shit out of me every time I turn around."

Edward started out at his children playing with Armstrong and slightly smiled "You know I do sometimes miss making your life a living hell and yes I would love to continue that task in my life. But you see over the past few years something happened to me that I can't quite explain Roy." Mustang's eyes widened as Edward called him by his first name then Edward turned to him "I grew up I guess."

Mustang nodded and slightly smiled "So your continent with staying here and being a father and a husband?" Winry almost fell out the window straining to hear his answer which came in a soft whisper "Yes I guess I am." Tears formed in her eyes as she realized that she had been reading Edward all wrong today. His body language had changed since he had grown up and what she thought was regret was actually contentment as she listened on to him speak "All my life I've been searching and fighting for a reason to keep going. Well I have six reasons right here and a woman to show what love is like. I had a great marriage to Windy and she was taken tragically from me. Winry had a tragic marriage and now I can show her how great loving someone can be. I remember what our teacher told Al and I about the circle of things that move in the universe and I have to believe that this is some giant cosmic way of the universe turning and letting everything that was supposed to happen be reborn. I missed my chance with Winry the first time but now things have changed and I have another chance and I'm not going to let this one slip through my fingers so easily." Slightly nodding Mustang turned to Edward "I understand and I wouldn't expect any less from you Edward."

It was then Edward chuckled "Well anytime you want me to be a pain in your ass just call or come by because I can call you a pompous ass over the phone just as good as in person you sarcastic jerk off."

"Why you little arrogant runt!" Mustang huffed then smiled a devious smile "I'll have to move my paperwork around to make sure I can see you when you come to visit me." They both laughed hearty laughs because insulting each other was the only way these two knew their friendship was truly real. Winry felt her heart deepen at the sound of love and friendship that these two had for each other and she knew deep down they would do anything for each other. But it was their sarcastic attitudes and total lack of communicating with each other that made them real friends. They both were so close they knew what each other was thinking but you could never get them to admit it. They kept each other at a distance but not so much they weren't in contact mentally with each other. It was just the way they could look at each other and know what the other was thinking that was strange to her. So as she walked over and sat back on the bed she realized that she had been thinking the worst for nothing.

A few moments later there was a slight knock at the door and then it opened and Edward poked his head in "Winry are you okay?" She looked up and waved him in as she stood up and began to have all these thoughts rush through her mind and she didn't even realize she was saying them out loud as he shut the door behind him and stared at her pacing the floor "Edward I don't even know where to begin. I have been thinking maybe you wanted to go back to the military but then I heard you say you didn't." He walked slowly over and sat on the bed giving her full release of her feelings at that point as he just watched her slowly pace back and forth waving her hands in the air "I don't even know what you're thinking anymore Ed." She stopped and stared at him "Is that wrong?" shaking his head no she began pacing again as he crossed his legs and braced his elbow on his knee and plopped his head in his hand. '_God she's a gorgeous mess'_ He thought smiling to himself as she paced and all her feelings came blurting out one over the other.

"I'm so confused. I don't know what to think anymore. I love you but I don't want you to be unhappy. I don't want you to work for the military but if that's what you want to do than I want you to do it. I feel like my whole worlds been turned upside down but that's a good thing I guess. My heart is open but closed at the same time. I don't know how to love anybody. Hell I don't even know what love is." She paced and paced and flailed her arms as she contradicted herself and began to sob some and as he watched he realized she was a complete mess. No one had ever showed her what true love really was. She stopped as she stared at him the said something that made his heart heavy "I guess what I'm trying to say is do what you want to Edward I don't want to stand in your way."

He stared at her and took a deep breathe careful of the words he chose at this point because he knew the slightest way in his words could crush her. She was fragile and hurt deeply and all he wanted was to show her he wasn't the same stupid emotionless kid that left seventeen years ago. So after taking his deep breathe he stood up and walked over and stopped in front of her and all she could think was he was about to let his temper roll. But he reached out and took both her hands and brought them up to his chest and stared into her eyes and as he spoke the tone in his voice was both comforting and reassuring to her "Listen Winry I'm still standing here and I'm not going to disappear. I'll tell you like I told Mustang I spent my whole life searching for something and know I've come to realize I have a second chance and I'm not going to let it slip through these metal fingers again." Bringing his right hand up his metal fingers caressed her cheek and brushed the tears away "You have nothing to worry about and I am doing what I want to. I want to stay here with you and the kids and be the person that you can depend on, the person who will love you and protect you." Shaking his head slightly, "I want nothing else in my life right now." Feeling like she had lost it a little but glad she had let him know how she felt even if I came out as a jumbled mess and him still not realizing where she was coming from. He figured he could lay those worries to rest with a few words from the heart and for Ed that wasn't easy because his feelings were usually the last thing he talked about. But right know his feelings were the only thing he could turn to because her feelings were all messed up. Greg had done a good job on her making her not realize what she was actually feeling by masking it with something else but as true Winry form Edward always knew her feelings would surface as she got more frustrated and he could pin point the problem and right now the problem was she was scared. Scared of love, scared of life, and scared he was going to do a disappearing act again. So after figuring that out all he could do was show her that he wasn't going to disappear at the first sign of a mission and let her know that she was the most important thing in his life right now. She was more important than anything Mustang could offer him.

Fighting back the small tears forming in her beautiful blue eyes she looked up at his amber gaze "Are you sure this is what you want Edward? I'm not exactly the same person you left seventeen years ago. I'm a complete train wreck with extra baggage loaded on few extra cars."

Edward smiled slightly and chuckled "Well I think I could alchemize the extra baggage into something else and I'm pretty sure I can put your derailed cars back on the track." his eyes softened as he leaned in closer and stopped just millimeters from her lips as he whispered "And as for being the same person. You are the same person I knew seventeen years ago your just a little lost right know and I am here to show you that flashing light from the second story window to bring you home." It was the she remembered how she stood out on the second floor balcony that night while he, Major Armstrong and Al were walking home and she was flashing the light like their mother used to so they could find their way home. Then his lips met hers and all her worries disappeared for a moment as she figured out that Edward wasn't exactly the same person who left years ago either. Something in him had changed he was more…more mature that the young boy she used to know and he was more loving and kind. Getting lost in his kiss was easy but she still had her fears but at this point she didn't know if she wanted to bring that wall down she had built just yet. But as Edward leaned back he saw the look in her eyes and he knew given time she would let that wall fall but if she needed it right now he was willing to let her keep it up if that's what made her feel safe. It was now his mission to show her after Mustang got Greg out of here how life was supposed to be and how a man was supposed to love a woman. He had to build her confidence and self-respect back up. Greg had completely stripped her of those two qualities she used to portray so fiercely and Edward thought that's what made his heart so heavy was to see her timid and broken from the once fiery, opinionated wrench throwing girl he knew. He chuckled to himself as he pulled her into a hug thinking to himself, it was odd him actually wanting her to clock him with a wrench and waiting for the day she would. He wondered if that made him seem deranged wanting her to cause him bodily harm just to be the way they used to be. But standing there holding her and knowing she was now safe from that asshole he felt a sense of relief and he knew in time she would be okay. But for right now he was just there to show her support and love, to be there for her now because he wasn't in the past, to be the shoulder she could lay her head on and the ear that would listen to everything she had to say no matter how dumb she thought it sounded.

He let her go and smiled "Are you ready to go back downstairs?" She nodded "Mmmm hmm" Edward gave her a curious look and grinned "I have a feeling my brother has been with a girl today and I think it's time I find out just what he's up to?" Winry slightly blushed knowing full well where Al had been and she knew Ed was going to tease him about it especially when he found out who it was.

As Winry and Ed descended the stairs Edward caught sight of Al outside talking to Mustang and Winry left his side headed for the kitchen to get lunch started. He walked out the door and sat in the chair behind Al and Mustang who were sitting on the steps. Once the conversation died down Edward slide in his question "Soooo Al who's the girl you were with this morning?" Al turned with a surprised look "Uh I don't know what you're talking about Ed?" Edward grinned "Aw come on Al my nose has never been wrong. I smelled daisy perfume when you came home. So who is she?"

Al's eyes went to the ground and he knew his brother had caught him and he softly replied "Brenda Johnson." Al could see the wheels turning in Edward's head '_Breeenda Johnsooon why does that name sound familiar?'_ He thought for a moment longer then his eyes widened as he looked at Al "No way! Thee Brenda Johnson that had a crush on me when we were kids? The one with the braces and two braided ponytails?" Al Slightly chuckled "Yeah well she doesn't look like that anymore and she doesn't have a crush on you anymore."

Edward slightly smiled as he thought about his brother finally showing an interest in a girl. Al had always put his personal life on hold on the other side it was like he never wanted to get close to anyone and Edward had always wondered why. He would be there for Windy and Edward's kids and even when they had rescued Envy. It was like Al and Envy had a better relationship than Envy and Ed. Ed figured that they both felt the same way about certain things. Al was more the rational type while Envy was more the out of control type. At that time Edward hadn't put his finger on it but since he and Windy had children his out of controlness had settled down and maybe that's what Al needed was to be the rational part of an out of control personality because he had done it all his life with Edward. It was strange now that Edward thought about it Envy had actually invaded both their lives to a certain point. He affected Al's just as much as Edward's and now Edward found himself missing his older psychotic homunculus brother. Al had never gotten close to any women one the other side either and Ed thought maybe it was because of their family situation. He saw how it affected Windy at first being around Envy and he wondered if that was the reason why Al never got involved with anyone was because trying to explain the whole situation was mind boggling.

So he let the whole thing drop without teasing his younger sibling about this girl "Alright Al I'm just glad to see you're actually interested in the opposite sex." Al gave Edward a puzzled look then slightly laughed "Oh yes I've been interested for quite some time brother but I never really knew if it was a good time to ask a girl out or not. Brenda asked me out and I thought about declining but she said it was just a picnic so I agreed." Edward knew now why his brother had never asked a girl out because he had never got up enough nerve. "Good for you Al." Edward said smiling "Are you going on a second date?" Al face got a worried look "Uh I don't know I never asked." Chuckling Ed started rocking in the chair "Don't you worry little brother I'm sure she'll be asking you out again." A huge smile crossed Al's face "You think so? I've never really been on any dates and I don't want to screw it up." Reassuring him Edward smiled "Don't worry about it I'm sure they'll be another date." Mustang turned to Al and smiled "Yeah you have that Elric charm unlike some people we know." Edward's head shot forward "Hey I'll have you know I have plenty of charm unlike some stuffy, power hungry ladder climber we know." Mustang's head shot around "WHY YOU LITTLE-!" Just then Winry opened the screen door "STOP IT YOU TWO! You both are quite the charmers and I don't want to hear another word about it." She smiled and looked at Al who had a horrified look on his face "Al you're sweet and good looking and your ego doesn't inflate like two people we know and any girl would be happy to date you and if she wasn't then she's not worth your time." Al smiled as he lowered his head "Thanks Winry." Edward and Mustang glared at each other and then smiled realizing she was right their egos were way out there.


	15. MHIHChapter 15

My Heart is Heavy chap.15

After her telling the two ego maniacs on the porch to be quiet Winry turned and went back into the house and got lunch ready. As they all sat down for lunch the conversation turned to the military's arsenal. Al was very intrigued by Edward's plan to draw out plans for Mustang on planes. He was looking for something to keep him busy while he tried to figure out what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. So Al agreed to be the overseer on the project. Edward agreed Al would be the perfect supervisor and if any problems came up Al couldn't solve he could ask Ed. But Edward assured Mustang whatever he knew Al also knew because his little brother had been very interested in these flying planes when he went to the other side. Mustang agreed that Al would come to Central to supervise the project in the next few months due to they had to come up with a budget for producing these planes. Edward was the only one that had flown one though and he told Mustang when that time came he would come to Central only to do a course on how to fly them but after that it would be a trial by error situation. Meaning if the pilot couldn't control the airplane they would lose quite a lot of them and maybe pilots.

The conversation then switched to old stories and Mustang telling Edward's children all about their father and uncle's adventures throughout Amestris and what a pain in his ass their father had been. But he also added at the end that Ed and Al were the best fighters and alchemists he had the pleasure of knowing and he was glad his young friends had found their way home. Steven was intrigued by the adventures his father and uncle had and when Mustang was sitting alone on the porch after lunch he approached him.

"Fuhrer, sir can I talk to you?" Steven asked as he sat down next to Roy. Roy turned and smiled "It's just Roy." His cocky smirk made Steven a little nervous as he sat down "If I wanted to have the adventures my father had could I also join the military and become a state alchemist?" Mustang's attention was fully one the boy now as he sighed and looked out over the countryside and he didn't want to discourage the boy he just knew Edward probably didn't want his son following in his footsteps. But then again the boy hadn't tried to bring his dead mother back and he hadn't lost any of his limbs or his sisters trying to do it so Roy turned and slightly gave Steven a small grin "Has your father told you yet why he became a state alchemist and the hell he and your uncle went through those four years being what we call dogs of the military?" Steven was a little surprised but then disappointed that his father never talked about his childhood as he shook his head no slowly. Edward had walked to the door and stopped just before going out as he heard Mustang and Steven talking. Mustang turned to face Steven and saw Edward standing there as he softly replied to the boy "Ask your father about why he joined the military then if you train hard and still want to join come talk to me." Mustang patted the boys head with his hand "You're so much like him brave, confident, compassionate, and an inner strength that drives you to strive forward. Your father was and still is a good friend and I would do anything for him. But-" there was that all fated but "I will not answer your question until you know the full story behind why your dad became a state alchemist and I will not let you join unless you have his blessing to do so." Edward inhaled deeply in his chest as he realized his children were getting older and they were going to want to know about his childhood here in Amestris. Because now it wasn't a far off place they thought he was making up they were here and living in it now.

Winry walked up behind Edward and looked out to see Mustang and Steven talking and she knew something was bothering him "Ed what's the matter?" He slightly smiled at her "Winry would you watch Melissa for me? I think it's time I take my children to the cemetery and explain to them what happened." Winry's eyes widened knowing this was going to be hard for Ed because she figured he had never planned on telling them. "Sure Ed." Edward turned and kissed her forehead then walked into the living room where Al was reading a book "Al I need your help. I think it's time to tell my kids about our childhood."

Looking up surprised that Ed would even consider telling them Al sighed "Are you sure brother?" Edward's head lowered as his long bangs fell forward and he sighed "Yes." Al closed the book he was reading and stood up "Alright" he said walking over by Edward as they both stood there realizing they were going to have to tell the people that looked up to them the most that they had committed the worst taboo in alchemy they had broken the forbidden law. Edward raised his head and walked outside and put his hand on Steven's shoulder "Get Nina and Caroline I think it's time we all had a long talk." Steven looked up and saw the seriousness on his father and uncle's face and was a slight bit worried as he nodded and turned to go get his sisters.

Mustang looked up at Edward "I'm sorry Edward but I didn't know what else to tell the boy." Edward slightly smiled "It's alright they need to know the truth Roy and thank you for making me realize that. I never thought my son would want to follow in my footsteps but this is going to be hard for them to hear. Almost as hard as it is going to be for me to tell them."

Mustang stood up and he knew Edward's kids were going to be surprised that their father and uncle had done such a thing seeing how Edward had never told them anything about his past and he figured Edward never planned on telling them. But now faced with his son wanting to learn alchemy and being back in Resembool where the dastardly deed took place Edward was face to face with the whole sickening truth again.

Steven came back with his sisters and they all started their walk to the cemetery. The kids looked at their father and uncle's face and there was no expression on either of them. They both looked like they were remembering something neither one wanted too. They kids all looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders at each other and kept walking. When they reached the cemetery Edward and Al walked ahead of the children and stopped in front of a grave where they both stood for a few moments in silence and stared at it. The kids walked forward and looked at the headstone which bore the name Trisha Elric on it. Caroline looked up at her father "Who is this dad?" Edward bent down and began clearing away some grass that had grown around the headstone a little too tall. Al went to the other side of the road and picked some wild flowers that were growing and brought them back and sat them on top of the headstone.

Edward then turned to his children and motioned for them to sit on the grass. "This is your grandmother's grave she died when I was 6 and Al was 5. After that we were pretty much on our own. We had learned alchemy before she died but after she died we dove head first into trying to learn all the alchemy we could. It became an obsession for me at least. I was bound and determined I was going to bring her back to life." His children gasped and looked up at him and he just continued talking as Al put his hand up to the children to listen and they stared at their father as he got a far off look on his face. It seemed like he was transported back in time as he spoke "Al and I found a teacher her name was Izumi Curtis. Best woman I ever knew although she scared the crap out of both of us, beat the hell out of us and she was a certified psychopath in many ways. But for all purposes she was a damn good teacher and she taught us everything we know about martial arts and everything she knew about alchemy."

Al smiled as he softly butted in to Edwards story "She was also the only mother figure we had at the time." He raised his eyebrows as he looked at Edward "And she did love us in her own way brother." Al sat down next to the children "You see you have to understand Izumi's story too. She had lost her baby and tried to bring it back through human transmutation. Human transmutation is a taboo among alchemists. It should never be done because you can't bring the dead back." The children's eyes were wide as they listened intensely to their uncle "Izumi lost some of her inner parts when she tried the transmutation to bring her baby back and she could never have children and her health was poor after that." Al smiled as he got the same far off look as his father like he was remembering something "But she took us on as students anyway and taught us everything we needed to know."

Sitting down next to his kids on the grass Edward took a deep breath "The one thing she couldn't teach us was how to follow the laws of alchemy and not do something stupid." Steven looked at his father's metal arm and his eyes began to tear up because he thought he already knew what his dad was going to say and Edward smiled softly again as Caroline looked at him "What did you and Uncle Al do that was so stupid dad?" Edward looked at each one of their trusting faces and shook his hair out of his face and looked them in the eyes "Me and your Uncle Al performed human transmutation to try to bring our mother back." They all stared blankly at him as he continued "But during that transmutation Al's whole body was taken to the other side and my left leg was taken as a payment for the truth showing me incredible things. But when I came back from the other side Al was still gone so I took a suit of armor and performed a transmutation giving up my right arm to bond his soul to the armor." By now all the children stared wide eyed at him and couldn't believe this incredible story.

Al decided to take over the story at this point "When I came too I saw Ed leaning up against the wall missing his arm and leg, bleeding all over the place. It was then I realized I was in the armor and all I could think of was getting help for him. So I scooped him up and brought him to the only people I knew could help him, Pinako and Winry." The children didn't know how to react they were stunned hearing that their father and uncle had done the unthinkable and tried to bring someone back from the dead. Edward looked up at his children and bit his lower lip "You see we went through this all for nothing because human transmutation isn't even possible to perform." Crossing his legs in front of him Edward stared at his mother's tombstone "The thing we brought back was a homunculus."

Nina gasped "The same thing as Uncle Envy was?" she questioned as Edward explained "Yes he was made a homunculus by our father when he tried to bring Envy back after he died of mercury poisoning."

Al smiled at the kids softly trying to let them know that he and Edward were okay with what had happened as Steven looked at his father "That's why you can do alchemy without a matrix or drawing a circle right father?" Edward smiled at how fast his son had learned his teaching "Yes like my teacher told me once when I asked her why she didn't need a matrix. She told me that she herself was the matrix and it was just something you could do after seeing the truth." Caroline's eyes widened "Daddy what is the truth?" Edward patted his lap as she moved to sit on it "The truth is scary. It showed me things that would come to pass and all the secrets of alchemy. Everything I would ever need to know. I felt like my brain would explode from all the information the truth showed me. But in the end the cost was still to dear and painful."

Steven gave his father a smirk "Why then did you become a state alchemist father?" Edward lowered his head "After the failed transmutation General Mustang showed up at Pinako's house after going to ours and seeing what we had done and he was impressed with our talents so he offered me a way to maybe get our bodies back to normal. But it would involve me becoming a state alchemist and joining the military."

Steven then stood up and turned to his grandmother's headstone "That's why he wanted to know if you had told me what you had done." Edward saw Steven clinch his right hand into a tight fist and he closed his eyes and shook his head softly thinking his son thought less of him for his mistake but Steven turned to face Edward with a determined look on his face "I want to continue my alchemy training father and I want to be the best like you. I want you to train me in everything your teacher trained you in. Then I want to join the military and become a state alchemist and follow in your footsteps." He waved his hand "Except the whole human transmutation thing." Edward took a deep breath and smiled a proud smile at his son and he nodded a slight nod as he said "Okay my son I will teach you everything I know about alchemy." The girls looked up and started talking at once to him "Dad we want to learn too maybe not alchemy but we want to learn martial arts to protect ourselves." Caroline looked at Nina "Maybe you don't want to learn alchemy but I do." Edward couldn't believe his children. They were so eager and Al turned to him and smiled as he chuckled "I wonder where they get their drive from brother?" Al knew they each had a small part of Edward's persistence and stubbornness in each of them.

Edward smiled at them and looked into their faces "You guys now know the truth about what happened and I would appreciate you not telling your little sister till she's older and I can explain it to her myself like I have you." He Stood up and took the girls hands "I will train you two to protect yourselves and if you want to learn alchemy you have to study just like your brother." Edward had always thought his children would hold what he did at such a young age against him. He never wanted them to find out about Al and his past but since coming back to this side of the gate he realized that keeping it a secret wasn't the best plan because everyone over here knew about it. His children had proved him wrong once again in his assumptions of what they would think. They were intelligent and very open to things he never thought they would be. As he looked at each of them walking home he realized that each one of his children held a special quality of his that he never knew. It was his compassion, stubbornness, confidence, persistence and his sheer will to keep going and that made him smile a huge smile as they all walked back to the house that day. His children felt a deeper connection to their father and Uncle now and they understood the hardships and the deep connection that brothers have when one so young is left to almost raise the other by himself and that only made them look up to both men more.


	16. MHIH Chapter 16

AN: This chapter is a little longer due to a confusing conversation between Ed and Winry. Thanks for your reviews I hope your enjoying this story.

My Heart is Heavy chap.16

Winry came out on the porch and sat next to Mustang watching Armstrong play with her boys and Melissa. She was worried how Ed's kids were going to take him and Al trying to bring their mother back to life. She and Mustang both kept a close eye on the road glancing at it periodically waiting to see them walking back. Feeling like she couldn't take it anymore she stood up "Ahhhh, I can't take this. It's stressful not knowing what's going on." Mustang looked at her and gave her a slight smirk "If I know anything it's that Ed's kids love him and their smart. I don't think anything could make them love him or Al any less. This is something he has to do Winry and I have a feeling everything will be fine."

She exhaled deeply as she fidgeted with her hands "I know but Ed and Al tried so hard to keep their past from his kids. I didn't understand that until now because now I know it was painful for him and Al." Just then she looked up and saw the five of them walking back to the house on the road.

Mustang looked up at her and smiled seeing Ed holding his girls hands and Al walking beside Steven "See Winry everything is fine." She lowered her eyes to the ground and felt a sense of relief "Yeah." Watching them walk up she looked at Ed and gave him a reassuring look and he winked at her letting her know that everything was okay. Edward then turned to Mustang "Fuhrer my son would like to join the military when his alchemy training is complete." Nodding to Edward Mustang looked at the boy and slightly smiled "I'm sure he'll make a fine soldier Ed and I will take a personal interest in him when he passes his state alchemist exam."

Shaking his head Edward turned to Steven "I kind of figured you would Fuhrer." Winry then turned to Ed and smiled "Well now that that's all taken care of I think I'm going to go play hide and seek with the kids and Armstrong." Edward gave her a huge grin "I think that's sounds like an excellent idea." As her and Ed walked out to begin the game Al sat next to Mustang "Well Fuhrer I hope you know what you're getting into taking Steven on as a soldier. He's more stubborn and driven then Ed ever was." Mustang gave Al a smirk as if to say _'I already figured that out.'_

As the sun began to set and everybody was worn out from their hours of hide and seek. Mustang and Edward pitched in to help Winry make dinner for the bunch. Winry made granny a plate and Edward took it to her. Sitting it on the nightstand he turned to walk out and she said "Ed sit with me for a moment." Edward smiled at the old woman who he used to love having height screaming matches with and pulled the chair closer to the bed. She reached her hand out and he took it "Boy I'm glad your back now I can rest peacefully knowing my granddaughter will be taken care of." Edward got a confused look as he squeezed her hand "Don't talk like that granny you're going to be around a long time." She chuckled as she leaned back in the bed "These old bones of mine have seen and fixed quite a lot of automail, and this body has consumed a lot of scotch and I'm tired Ed." She looked him directly in the eyes and there was a look of love that she had for him "Ed, promise me you'll show Winry the best years of her life? Promise me she'll smile again like she used too? Promise me that everything will be okay and my great grandchildren will grow up happy?" Her eyes began to droop as she asked the last thing and Edward could feel a tear roll down his cheek. She was almost to her end and he didn't know how much longer she would wait before she left them but he knew that it would crush Winry even more to lose granny now. So he sat forward and whispered softly in her ear "You listen to me you old hag I promise you that all you ask will be fulfilled but you can't leave us till after I marry your granddaughter and you see here smile that bright smile you want to see and she cries tears of joy and not heartache." Pinako's lip curled into a smile as she whispered softly "I love you, you microscopic shrimp." He slightly smiled and lowered his head laying it on the bed next to her as her hand came up she placed it on top of his head. He sat there for what seemed like a half hour making sure she was still breathing before Winry came in and noticed him like that and she also noticed the tears that were flowing down his cheeks. She hadn't told them just how sick granny was but she figured that granny had made it quite plan to Edward she didn't have much longer by the looks of the scene in front of her. Walking over she tapped his shoulder "Edward come on, your dinners getting cold." He lifted his head catching the frail hand of Pinako and laid it on across her chest. Reaching up and wiping his eyes he stood up and stared down at her then leaned over and kissed her wrinkled forehead "I love you to you old coot" He whispered as he turned to Winry and took her hand leading her out of the room back to the kitchen.

In the kitchen the table was filled with endless chatter and the kids all talking at once and as Edward entered he felt like he had just entered the start of the rest of his life. Sitting down he lowered his head for a minute thinking about everything in his life that had happened up until this very second. Al leaned over and whispered "Brother, are you alright?" bringing Edward back to the reality of where he was and shaking his head slightly he looked at his younger sibling "Yeah Al I'm fine" he said softly as he reached his hand out and asked for the potatoes to be passed. Dinner was an energetic atmosphere of chatter between everyone. Roy was bringing Edward up to speed on his plans for the country and Al was talking with Steven while the girls and Winry's boys were trying not to be noticed by flicking food at each other across the table. Winry watched as all this was unfolding in front of her and she realized that just two months ago her life was a complete mess. She was in a rotten marriage to a guy who would rather beat her and hurt her boys. She felt like all she wanted to do was curl up and die in a corner somewhere because the two friends she loved the most were gone out of her life. But bringing her eyes backup to the scene at the table in front of her she slightly smiled because now her life was completely turned around. Her friends were back and her rotten husband was out of her life. Sitting there she came to the conclusion that maybe Edward was right. Maybe this was their second chance and that she had a chance for love now with someone who she had loved her whole life. Maybe the cosmic universe wasn't as screwed up as she thought it was a year ago because Ed and Al were here in this very room with her now at this very moment.

Later that night they were putting the kids to bed and Ed was in tucking the boys in and they asked him to tell them a story from his childhood. So he thought about it and he decided to tell them about the time Al got lost off the train and he went to look for him and some girl stole his leg to take to her dad. The boys were laughing at the thought of him hopping down the road searching for his metal leg. He finished up his story and tucked little Ed and Al in and said goodnight to Steven. Walking over to the girl's room he peaked in on them and tucked them in and kissed their heads and asked where Melissa was. Nina smiled up at him "You know how she likes bathes dad so Winry is giving her one because you were busy with the boys telling them a story." Edward slightly smiled "Alright I'll check in on them" He shut the light off and went to the door and before he left he said over his shoulder "Get a goodnight's sleep because tomorrow I'll show you some moves." They both roared with at the same time "YEEEEES." He turned and headed down the hall towards the bathroom when he heard singing. Getting closer to the bathroom he realized it was coming from inside and he reached for the doorknob and opened the door slowly. What he saw inside made him smile as he leaned up against the door frame and listened to Winry sing a song to Melissa while she washed her hair. The girl splashed and giggled as Winry picked up some bubbles and stuck the on her nose "Mommy dat tickles." She said taking bubbles in her hand and blowing them at Winry face. Winry laughed and reached for a towel "Come on now time to get out." Melissa looked up and saw Edward "Daddy wook I all clean now." He chuckled when he looked at Winry with bubbles on her face and he walked over and lifted his hand and wiped them off "I see and Winry looks clean now too." He reached for the towel "Do you want me-"She cut him off "No I got her you go down and visit with the fuhrer he'll be taking that shit bag out of here early in the morning." Edward held his laughter back at her description of her ex-husband and kissed her forehead "Alright then if you're sure?" She leaned down and picked Melissa out of the tub and stood her on the floor and began drying her off "I'm sure Ed." Leaning down he kissed Melissa's head "Goodnight my angel." She looked up and smiled "Nighty night daddy I wuve you." Patting the girls head "I love you too." He walked out to go downstairs to talk to Mustang, Armstrong and Al. After he left Winry continued drying Melissa off when she noticed the young girl had the same birthmark on her hip that she had. It was shaped the same, like a little diamond in exactly the same place. She was boggled by it as she looked at it again and she began to think about Edward's wife Windy. She began to wonder if maybe she and Windy shared some sort of connection. Edward had told her about all the people on the other side looking like people here in Amestris. This was something she would have to ask him about because this birthmark thing had just tripped her out. How could it be possible for this little girl to have the same birthmark as her if they weren't related?

As she went downstairs the guys were sitting in the living room kicking back having a glass of scotch and talking about old times. Edward was explaining to Mustang about Envy and what had happened to him after they rescued him. Mustang was surprised to hear the homunculus had actually lived with Edward and Al and even more surprised to find out he'd given his life up to send them all back to this side. Feeling drained from the day Winry finished up the dishes from dinner and walked into the living room and yawned as she put her hand on Ed's shoulder "I'm going to bed now I'm exhausted." Edward took a sip off his drink them smiled "I'll be up in a minute." She nodded and said her goodnight's to the others and her goodbyes if she didn't see them in the morning. Mustang apologized again for Greg's behavior and then gave her a hug. Armstrong kissed her hand and said his tearful goodbye and told her they needed to come to Central and visit soon. Al gave her a wink and said goodnight then she started up the stairs still puzzled by this birthmark thing.

Getting into the room she got out a nightgown she hadn't worn in a while, it was sheer white with lace across the bodice, hell it might has well been see through. She giggled to herself as she slipped it on and looked in the mirror. This left nothing to the imagination and she was hoping Edward would find it arousing. She took her hair out of the ponytail it had been in and began to brush it as she stared at herself in the mirror. It had been a long time since she had wanted to make herself pretty for someone. Just then the door opened and he stepped in, setting the brush down she stood up and turned around just as he turned from the door. As his eyes met hers and then trailed down her body he exhaled softly "Wow." As he looked her up and down again she began to blush as a slight smile crossed his face and he walked forward taking her in his arms and kissing her passionately. Then running his hand down to her waist he curled it around to her back and pulled her tighter closing any space there was between their bodies. Leaning her head back as he began to kiss her neck she asked her curious question "Edward do the people on the other side share a commonality with the people on this side?" His eyes opened as he stopped kissing her neck wondering what had brought this question on. Leaning his head back he gave her a puzzled look "What do you mean?" She was hesitant to say anything as he stared at her but then she just said it "I want to know if me and Windy shared any similar traits Edward?" He stepped back some and sighed as he took her hand and walked her over to the bed and sat down and she sat next to him.

"What sort of traits are you talking about Winry? You both looked exactly like each other." He said still clasping her hand in his lightly. She lowered her gaze then lifted her eyes slowly to look in his "I-I- I want to know if she was me Ed?"

Edward reached his hand to her cheek and caressed it as he spoke softly to her "She was everything you are and you're everything she was. I don't know how to explain it Winry but yes I guess DNA would play a part in it." He looked at her still puzzled "Why do you ask? Did something happen?" she reached her hand down and pulled her nightgown up to show him the diamond birthmark on her hip "Your daughter Melissa has the same exact birthmark I have Ed in the exact same spot." Her eyes lifted slowly back to his with a pleading look of curiosity in them "How could that be if we are not related."

Staring at her birthmark he sighed "Windy had the same birthmark also." He put his hand to his forehead and ran it down his face and stopped at his chin. "I really don't know how to explain it to you Winry. It's complicated. It confused me at first seeing everybody with the same faces from here." Dropping his hand to his lap he sat there in complete silence for a moment trying to think of a way to explain things to her. But before he could she came to her own conclusion "So Edward if that's true then your children **are**actually my children even though I never gave birth to them. But I actually did in another world. Because Windy was actually me in another world." She dropped her nightgown and slightly smiled but he was more confused now about the whole situation but Winry had made up her own mind about it. As she continued to talk her explanation out to him he began to think she understood it better than him. "So I actually have six children but I only gave birth to two in this world and the other four were born on the other side by the other me." Edward got a confused look and looked at the ceiling then back to her, went to say something but stopped because she had just totally stumped him. Shaking his head he slightly smiled at her "Winry if that's the way you want to think it happened then who am I to tell you it didn't because in a way your right. If I could completely understand your logic, But I do understand what you're saying. Yes you're right Windy was you in another world." She smiled brightly and hugged him "Thank you Edward I think I understand it all now." He rolled his eyes in confusion as he hugged her back "I'm glad you do because I'm still a little lost with this whole conversation." Winry now realized that even though Edward had married Windy he had actually married her but it was a different her on the other side. But not all that different, they shared the same DNA which meant that when the children were born they were actually her children too in a biological sort of way. He may have been lost in the conversation but it made perfect sense to Winry in her own mind. She knew that Edward's children shared her DNA and that was all she needed to know. She knew that he had loved Windy the same as he loved her and still loved her. The whole picture was so clear in front of her now Edward had never lost his love for her he had picked her again on the other side to share the love they both felt even though it wasn't truly her, But in actuality it was her (Is everyone confused now?)Winry had thoroughly convinced herself that she and Windy were one in the same person. Her love for him grew more that night after she had figured all this out in her mind.

Edward let her go and gave her a seductive look as he raised an eyebrow at her "Now can we talk about this nightgown your wearing? Because I happen to like what I see and I want to enjoy it." Leaning forward he pulled her to his lips before she could answer and ravished her mouth hungrily with long passionate kisses. It was then she knew that she truly belonged to him and that she had always belonged to him. So reaching her arms around his waist she flung herself back on the bed taking him with her as she stared up into his blazing with passion amber gaze she smiled slightly "Well then Edward I'm not stopping you from enjoying what you want." A low growl left his throat as he leaned his head down and began kissing her neck all the way back up to her lips where his tongue invaded her mouth with a quick slip. His hands were already under the sheer lacy nightgown she wore and on her breast. It was then she let herself be carried away to that special place that only Edward had taken her before. Greg had never ravished her or savored her like this and it was a new fresh experience for her and she **liked** it. It made her feel sexy and desired and she had never felt like that before. Making love with Edward was the most exhilarating thing she had ever experienced and she never wanted to give it up. He was passionate and gentle but eagerly hungry for her at the same time. He made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world when he looked down and grasp her chin in his hand and slowly moved his lips towards hers stopping just millimeters from them and slightly grinned. She looked up at him with a passion he'd never seen before in her eyes but he always knew was buried deep inside her and staring into those big sapphire eyes he wanted to dive into and drowned "Edward, don't tease me." She said with a wanting in her voice that turned him on completely he licked his lips and when he did his tongue grazed her lower lip, her eyes slowly closed and a moan left her throat "I would never tease you Win." He whispered right before he ravished her mouth again and took her in a very seductive but slightly gentle passionate way. That night afterwards her whole body shook with convulsions from the sheer passion she had released to him and he was even amazed at the passion that was locked inside her. She had rocked his world and sent him to a place of exhilaration that he had never expected.


	17. MHIH Chapter 17

AN: I'm trying to show a more mature, grown up Edward in this story. I want to get across how much he has grown into a fine man also I want to show the layers of things that are going with this whole situation.

My Heart is Heavy chap.17

Winry's eyes opened the next morning with the sun shining brightly filling the room with rays of brightness. She rolled over to see the man she'd spent the most exhilarating night of her life with but the bed was empty. Looking to the clock she realized it was much later than she thought it had been. She had overslept again and her first thought was breakfast as she threw the covers off, jumped out of bed, got dressed hurriedly and ran a brush trough her hair and pulled it into a ponytail. Turning to take the door handle she opened it and practically ran downstairs only to find that Edward and Al had already made breakfast, fed the children and we're outside with them working on teaching the girls martial arts. Seeing the coffee she walked over and made her a cup and sat down at the table as she sipped the steaming hot cup of caffeine. She had a different outlook on life this morning and she felt happiness a feeling she hadn't felt in many years. Her outlook on life this morning was that of a beautiful spring day with birds singing and a bright sun. Not that of dragging herself through another day that seemed to never end with a dark cloud looming over her head. She saw that Fuhrer Mustang and Armstrong were gone and that meant that evil bastard was out of her life for good. The tightness in her chest left realizing that the evil she had been imprisoned by was gone. The darkness and hopelessness that had filled her heart for so long was now a warm feeling and she found herself breathing easier a she took another sip of coffee and listened to the training going on outside. She promised herself right then and there that she would never let Edward know the true depth of her torture with Greg. He had done things to her that she never wanted Edward to know about because she knew Edward would kill him for sure. She wanted her life to be full of happiness from now on so she shoved those dark feelings that Greg had made her feel down deep and she knew eventually they would fade with time and be filled with feelings of love from Ed.

Steven walked in the back door and she jumped from being startled. That was still something she couldn't get over right now. She was so used to walking on eggshells around Greg and not pissing him off that every time a door opened or someone entered the room she found herself jumping up trying to look busy. That was the way she used to handle Greg's mood swings it seemed if she kept herself looking busy he really didn't bother her. It was when he found her sitting he would lay into her, start yelling and pick a fight for any reason to tear her down. Steven saw her jump up and start cleaning the sink and he knew she had just been sitting there relaxing so he thought that was sort of strange as he watched her. Then he walked over next to her and saw the look on her face which was the blank stare of a person that was doing something that was so robotic to them they didn't even know they were doing it. Steven was his father's son and true to the Elric form he knew something wasn't quite right. He had Edward's sense of something being wrong deep in the pit of his stomach. He had heard his father and the fuhrer talking some last night about Winry's mental prison, that's what they called it and now he had seen it firsthand. Being a true Elric male with compassion he slowly walked over next to her and put his hand out over hers and stopped her from cleaning. She hadn't even realized it was him that walked in her body and mind were just so used to doing this process that she turned with a shocked look on her face feeling his hand on hers.

Turning her head she stared at the young boy in surprise as he slightly squeezed her hand and softly smiled "My father has already cleaned the sink Winry and you were sitting and enjoying your coffee." Reaching over he took the rag from her hand gently and looked back up at her. She was amazed at his gentleness and staring at him all she could see was Edward at that age. Tossing the rag in the sink he gently pulled her towards the table and sat her back in the chair and then he said something that made her stop and realize she was actually stuck in the prison of her mind "You don't need to be busy all the time. You have us now and we are here to help. Your safe and no one will ever hurt you again not as long as Dad, Uncle Al or I'm around." He saw the small tears forming in her eyes and he felt a deep regret of making those tears form for a second till he figured out she was tearing up from realizing she had imprisoned herself in her mind. Reaching her shaky hand out she put it on his cheek and sighed "Steven you are so much like your father it's scary. Don't ever let anyone change you into someone you're not. Be yourself because you're a great kid." Steven slightly blushed as he walked to the other side of the table and pulled the chair out and sat across from her. Letting his head fall forward to where his bangs covered his face "Winry my father has told me about you when you were younger. I suspect that your marriage to that bastard was traumatic and I see in your actions that it has scarred you deeply." As she listened to him it was like listening to Edward talk he was so mature for his age like his father was at that age. The way he spoke made her think he was older "But he is gone now and you are free from that life. My father loves you and he will never let anything happen to you. If you can open up your heart and let us all in I promise that we will love you like no mother has ever been loved. This is not easy for me to say but I feel like you're already my mother not just because you look like her but-"he stopped and lifted his head and Winry's eyes widened when she saw the small tear roll down his cheek "Because I believe that you are her. I don't know how this whole other world thing works but my studies into alchemy and science has made me come to believe that there are parallel worlds with people that look and act exactly like people in other worlds. I believe that you are the other part of my mother so that makes you her." Tears rolled down Winry's face as she stood up and walked over and pulled him into a hug surprising the boy as his cheeks turned a shade of red with her embrace.

"Steven I feel the same way." The whole conversation that she had with Edward the previous night was exactly the way she felt about what Steven had just explained to her. This fifteen year old boy whos thinking and alchemy studies made him think years ahead of his time had just broke through a wall that Winry had put up years before and they both felt a strange bond that seemed like it had been there always. Standing there holding him she felt a strange motherly connection to him she couldn't explain. Edward was standing in the doorway of the kitchen and heard the conversation between them. He realized that in some way she and his children were connected maybe…..just maybe Winry and Steven were right. Maybe Winry was actually their mother in a DNA biological sort of otherworldly way. His children had seemed to have a deep connection with her from the moment they met her and not just because she looked like Windy. They had taken to her like they had known her their whole life. So giving Steven and Winry their moment he stepped back out the doorway and leaned against the wall of the house trying to collect his thoughts on what he had just heard and witnessed. He was conflicted by the odds of everything that was happening, not in a bad way but in a peaceful accepting way. This was something he couldn't analyze because it wasn't science it was feelings something he had just recently in the past ten years started dealing with.

Just then Steven walked out the door and Edward turned to him "I'm proud of you son. You have come far in your training and thinking. You will be a great alchemist your mind works far beyond your age. That is a true alchemist." Steven smiled at his father and then a saddened look crossed his face as he said softly "I just don't like to see her sad knowing what that bastard did to her." Feeling his heart pump faster Edward placed his hand on Steven's shoulder "I've felt that way about her since I was your age. I never liked to make or see her cry. It hurt my heart deeply when I would see tears weld up in those big blue eyes. Because when that happened I knew I had hurt her deeply. I spent my whole life trying to protect her. When I finally realized I loved her I couldn't tell her because of the fact I made the decision to leave. The thought of causing her anymore pain by telling her and then leaving her was a hard decision for me. So I let her think that I had no feelings for her to spare her that pain and now I wonder if that was the right choice to make?"

Steven looked up at his father "I don't understand about feelings or love dad but I do know when I see two people that care for each other more than life itself. I saw that with you and mom and I see it more now with you and Winry. I also know you would give your life to protect her from anything. The way you look at her and talk to her is different from the way you talked to mom. I don't think mom was a replacement for her I think you loved them both the same." Steven shook his head and sighed "This whole thing is confusing but let's just say that mom and her are one in the same. Because when I'm around her I can't explain the feeling I get. It's like she's been my mother since I was born so we'll leave it at that. As far as I'm concerned she is my mother." With that statement Steven patted his father's shoulder and smiled "Now if you'll excuse me I have studying to do." As his son walked off Edward stood there and pondered the cosmic fact of Steven's words and came to the same conclusion and why was he even thinking about this? If Winry and his son felt it why couldn't he come to terms with their explanation? His scientific thinking took over and he had to learn more about this and come to a conclusion to ease his mind or to find out the truth about the other side. The one truth he knew about the other side was the one he learned from his father the first time he went through the gate and ended up in the other Edward's body. It was the truth that when you used alchemy in Amestris someone on the other side had died. That's why now that he was back he hadn't used his alchemy except that one time with Greg. His mind wondered back to the day Windy died and while he watched and felt her take her last breath the only thing he thought of was someone on this side was using alchemy at that particular moment. It hurt him deeply for a long time wondering if that alchemy was used for good, bad or just something as frivolous as someone fixing something that broke.

Just then Al's voice brought him back to the reality that he was standing in the yard and not by himself somewhere thinking about the things that plagued his mind. Looking up he saw a young woman with medium brown hair walking through the gate of the yard waving at Al. Al ran over and they had a short intimate conversation before turning and walking over to Ed.

"Brother you remember Brenda Johnson don't you?" Edward's eyes scanned the woman in front of him as she shyly smiled and softly said "Hello Ed it's been a long time." Remembering the braided pigtailed girl with the headgear of braces she used to be he smiled seeing the beautiful woman she'd grown into "Brenda nice to see you. You look great." She smiled a bright smile at him remembering the smart mouthed kid she used to have such a crush on. Now looking at him she saw the man he'd grown into. "Thank you Edward."

"So what have you been up to all this time Brenda?" Edward asked as he watched his brother's excited response "Brenda is a midwife. She helps deliver babies and bring new life into the world." Smiling at his brother's excitement Ed turned to Brenda "New life is always exciting. I'm glad to hear your there to help Brenda." Brenda was amazed at how much Ed had changed as she shook her head back to reality and reached into the basket she was carrying and brought a jar of raspberry jam and held it out to him "Here this is for Winry. Tell her I made a new batch up last night and she got the first jar." Edward reached and took the jar of jam as he smiled softly "She'll like that. Raspberry has always been her favorite." Then he turned to go into the house "Thank you Brenda now if you two will excuse me I have some writing and drawing to do." He turned back and looked over his shoulder "Al why don't you walk a little ways with Brenda on her outing today." Al smiled excitedly "Are you sure brother you don't need me here?" waving over his shoulder "Nah I got it covered you go enjoy yourself." And with that he walked into the house.

Walking into the house over to the table and setting the jar of jam on it Al's words echoed in Edward's mind "Are you sure **you** don't need me here?" It was then Edward's heart grew heavy again realizing that his younger sibling had given up everything to make sure he was alright. Although they had always been that way with each other Ed realized that Al had made it his life on the other side to help out with Ed and his family never taking the time to try to find someone and have his own. Winry saw him walk to the window and watch as Al and Brenda walked down the road and she placed her hand on his shoulder "He'll be okay and I'm sure he'll be home early." Thinking maybe Ed was worried about Al staying out late but then he turned to her "I hope he stays out all night." Edward said surprising her as his eyes lowered "My brother deserves a life and not one that consists of babysitting me all the time." Her eyes widened and she knew Ed was feeling like he'd held Al back from enjoying the finer things in life. Edward turned to her and softly smiled "My brother deserves to fall in love, get married and have a family of his own and he won't do that as long as he's here watching over me." She stared at him not knowing what he was going to do but she knew he was planning something as she watched him turn his head to watch his brother fade off down the road.


	18. MHIHChapter 18

My Heart is Heavy chap.18

Edward had spent the whole day in the living room writing things and drawing stuff out. The girls were curious of what their father was interested in doing as they poked their heads around the corner every couple of hours. Edward would laugh to himself seeing two young fresh faces poke around the corner to stare wide eyed at him. Nina would linger longer than Caroline because her curiosity was more intense. They wanted their father's attention because they weren't used to having him so intent on doing something besides playing with them. Winry watched this game of sneak, peek and stare go on for five hours then on the half hour of the last he sat his pencil down and looked at the blankly staring faces of the two girls poking their heads around the corner. "Alright you two I think it's time I take a break." They both ran over and jumped on him "Yaaaaay we thought you'd never give us attention today." He smiled as he hugged them then leaned back "I always have enough time for you but I want to get this done. I'll take a break and play with you for an hour if you promise you'll let me work till dinner to finish this and tomorrow I'll be all yours." Looking at each other they nodded and agreed as he stood up and followed them out into the yard where they started a game of tag with him.

Staring out the window Winry smiled as she watched him play with the girls then her two boys joined in. The next thing she saw was Ed buried under a pile of children in the front yard and they were all laughing hysterically. Her attention was pulled to a slight cough behind her as she turned to see Pinako walking to the front door "Granny what are you doing out of bed?" Pinako turned and smiled slightly leaning on her cane "Getting some air and I'm going to watch my great grandchildren play with their father." The old woman had waited so long to hear laughter in the house that the sound had drawn her out of bed when she heard it coming from outside. Seeing her up walking on her own made Winry think maybe this was good for her and she smiled as she walked over and opened the screen for Pinako to walk outside. Sitting in the chair Pinako watched Ed and the children run around the yard, laugh and have a great time. She had always pictured this was how it would be in her mind and now she was seeing it come to pass. She was happy and her heart filled with such joy at that point she sat back and just enjoyed the scene playing out in front of her.

Edward had let the time get away from him having so much fun playing with the kids that the sun had begun to go down. Looking up he realized he would have to spend most of the night trying to finish the drawings he'd started earlier that day. But he didn't mind he was having too much fun with the kids to stop. Now they were all wore out and they'd sleep good tonight. Winry called them all for dinner and as they sat down to eat Edward stared at the empty place where Al should have been sitting. Just then the front door opened and an "I'm sorry I'm late" echoed from the living room as Al walked to the kitchen and sat down. Pinako had decided she wanted to eat with the family tonight and not be stuck in her room. So as everyone sat down to eat chattering and laughing filled the kitchen. After dinner Ed looked at Alphonse and smiled "Al can I talk to you outside?" Al gave his brother a surprised look then he smiled softly "Sure brother."

Walking out on the porch Al followed Ed wondering what was bothering his brother because all through dinner Edward had been semi quite only saying a few things. Edward stopped and looked up at the stars "You know Al I think it's time you do your own thing." Al looked up confused "What do you mean Ed?" Edward then turned to his younger sibling feeling his emotions take his body over and smiled "We've always been close Al. But I'm okay now." Edward wanted Al to know that he was fine and could take care of himself now and that Al needed to get on with his life. Al stared at Ed as he continued "Alphonse you're my little brother and I've always taken care of you. Then when I got married and had kids and Windy died you began taking care of me. I appreciate everything you've done for me but seriously I'm alright now. I think it's time you had a life of your own little brother. You're thirty four and you've never fell in love or for that matter had a girlfriend. You've always looked after me and my family." Al got a saddened look on his face "W-What are you saying brother?" Edward walked up close to Al "I love you more than you'll ever know Al. You're the one thing in life I did right besides my children. You've grown into a fine man and a wonderful person. After raising you the way I did and having you turn out so great I knew having kids would be a breeze. Every time I looked at you I knew I could raise my kid's right." Tears formed in Al's eyes at what his brother was saying "I love you too Ed and I always wanted to make sure you were okay the way you looked out for me all those years." Feeling the tightness in his chest Edward reached out and pulled his younger brother into a hug "I know little brother and I thank you for that." Holding him tightly but not too tightly he could feel his throat starting to sting from the tears he was holding back Edward smiled "You and Envy made the greatest sacrifice to get me back here and I want you to know Al I'm fine now and thank you." Al began to sob like a child as he put his arms around his older sibling "B-But what are you trying to tell me Ed? I want to be here for you." Not being able to hold them back anymore tears began to flow down Edward's cheeks as he leaned back and looked Al in the eyes "Alphonse" he said softly "My dear sweet brother I want you to go experience the world. I want you to meet someone and fall in love, have your first experience with a woman. Get married have some kids of your own." Al's chin lowered as Ed reached up with his hand and pulled it backup to look at his brother's tear filled eyes "I'll always be here for you and the bond we share is unbreakable but Al you can't spend your whole life babysitting me." Al's heart felt heavy and then he realized Ed was right. They had spent almost their whole lives together watching out for one another. But Ed had expanded his life and Al's stayed the same. He realized Ed was releasing him from the promise they had made so long ago, the promise to take care of each other and to protect each other. It was painful for Ed to say this to Al because deep inside he would truly miss Al but it was time for him to go on with his life. Stepping back Edward wiped the tears from his own cheek as he turned away from Al and straightened his back "Like I said Al I love you but it's time for you to go."

Al stood there and processed what all Ed had just said to him and he took a deep breath "Alright Ed I will do what you want." Edward turned back to Al and smiled slightly "No little brother do what you want but that doesn't mean you can't come visit me once in a while or call when you want." Al smiled as he realized this was truly hard for his older brother because he had always been there and to let go of someone you've been so close too was a big step. Al grinned hugely "I promise I'll call you every week brother to let you know how I am." Reaching up and wiping his tears away Al put his hand on Ed's shoulder "Ed you are the reason I am who I am today and I will make you proud." Feeling he was about to lose it again with the tears Edward held it together as he raised an eyebrow looking at Al "You have always made me proud Al and I'll have the stuff for the fuhrer finished by tomorrow then you can take the drawings and instructions for the planes to him when you want. But before you leave though I want you to be my best man when I marry Winry." Al nodded a definite nod and smiled "Right" and turned to go in the house but Edward stayed outside as the tears he held back flowed down his cheeks stinging them. Letting Al go was the hardest thing he'd have to face at this delicate part of his life but he knew it was in Al's best interest that he did.

Just then the screen door opened and Winry stepped out. Walking up behind Edward she slid her arms around his waist and laid her head on his back "Are you alright Ed?" she asked softly after hearing their conversation and knowing how hard that was for Edward to say that to Al. Edward took a deep breath "Yeah it'll be good for him" he turned around and pulled her into a hug as he sobbed and she held onto him. Edward felt like he had lost so much in the past few months but then he had also gained much also. As he wiped his tears he looked at her and smiled a cocky smile "Well Mrs. Rockbell" he never called her by Greg's last name "Are you ready to become an Elric soon?" She looked up at him and softly smiled "Ed this is all moving so fast for me." She didn't know what to say at first because her feelings on marriage we're screwed up thanks to Greg but all she knew was that when she was in Edward's arms she felt safe and loved more than anything. This truly was the feeling she wanted to feel for the rest of her life and before she could get another word out she found herself lifting up on her tippy toes to kiss his lips gently. Then leaning back her eyes slowly gazed up into his golden stare "Yes Edward I'm ready." Staring into her eyes he knew she was scared about another marriage but all he could do was make it a great marriage and love her more than his very being. His life was changing fast just like hers and he hoped there would be a happy medium they could come too where they both would be at peace from all that had happened to them. Kissing her forehead he let her go from the hug he had her in "I have to finish the work I was doing so I'll be up late. Go ahead and go to bed I'll be up when I'm done." She nodded because to tell the truth she was exhausted from today. So she turned and walked into the house leaving him on the porch with his thoughts. He looked up to the starry sky and took a deep breath and sighed _'Well it's time to get on with my life Windy. I hope you can be happy for me? What am I saying I know your happy for me you always wanted me to be happy. I know you knew about Winry and I know you would be glad I got this second chance' _His head lowered as he spoke softly_ 'I just wish it wasn't under these circumstances. I wish you were still alive but I guess the way Steven and Winry see it you are still alive in a way.' _Shaking his head from the thousands of thoughts going through it at that point he turned and went into the house to the living room where he sat down and began drawing things out again. Al came in and was looking over his shoulder "Do you want help brother?" Edward reached over and grabbed a pad and pencil and handed it to him "Sure Al that'd be great." Al smiled asking Edward what he needed to draw out and after Winry finished getting ready for bed she came down to get some water. Looking into the living room she saw both men hard at work and arguing with each other about what went where in the diagrams and she smiled to herself. These two would never change always excited over new things and arguing with each other over stupid stuff. It seemed perfectly clear to her that each one knew what they had to draw but they were hell bent on arguing over it and they were going to wake up the kids. Her temper flared thinking about losing sleep if the kids got woken up. Before she even knew it she grabbed her wrench for the first time in 20 years walked into the living room and let it fly. "AHHH DAAAMN IT WOMAN!" Edward screamed grabbing his head and hitting the floor she then turned to Al as he coward in the corner "W-Winry w-wait. I'm SOOOORRY!" she had it in the air about to clock him when she heard Edward behind her laughing as he yelled "OH MY GOD YOUR BACK!" Stunned at his response she stopped as Al let out a sigh of relief that Ed had saved him from the fateful wrench attack. Turning to him and seeing him rolling on the floor holding his head laughing she got a surprised look then her eyes narrowed as she held the wrench out "If you two morons wake those kids I'll send both of you to see the truth PERMANETLY!" Glaring at both of them "Do you hear me?" They both stood up and smiled "Yes Winry we hear you." She straightened her nightgown and put the wrench to her side and stormed out of the room. Al turned to Edward "I don't pity you brother you had that coming." Edward glared at Al then scoffed through his bouts of laughter "I should have let her hit you." Picking their stuff up from the ground they both went back to work careful not to make any more noise than they had to.

Winry started up the stairs and at the top of them she stopped. Her hands were shaking and her heart was racing as she felt a little light headed. Dropping the wrench to the ground she swayed some trying to catch herself on the table nearby as she knocked the vase off and it hit the ground and shattered. Edwards head came up and he and Al looked at each other. They both stood up and ran for the stairs Edward taking them two at a time seeing her begin to fall backwards. "WINRRRY!" Edward yelled catching her and scooping her into his arms. He walked her to the bedroom and laid her on the bed as Al went to get a damp cloth to put on her head. Edward sat there feeling helpless as he looked down at her '_What the hell just happened?'_ Al came back and handed Ed the cloth "Is she okay?" Edward began to wipe her forehead "I don't know." A few moments later she opened her eyes and saw the frightened looks on both their faces "W-What happened?" she asked confused at being in the bed when she remembered being in the hallway. Edward looked down at her with concern and a shaking in his voice "Y-You almost fell down the stairs Winry what happened?" She tried to sit up and put her hand to her head "I'm just a little tired and overwhelmed I guess Ed." He stared at her for a moment and realized that things in the past few months had been happening fast and she was under a lot of stress while Greg was here so he sighed and put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back to the bed "You're staying in bed tomorrow and resting." She tried to sit up quickly again "I can't I have-"he words caught in her throat as she got queasy. Edward looked at Al and Al saw the frightened look on Ed's face and with his gentle soft voice "Winry me and Ed will take care of everything you need some rest." Edward swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath and put a smile on his face before he turned back around to face her "Yeah we'll be fine. I want you to spend the day taking care of yourself." She wasn't used to this treatment she was always the one that had to do everything and she looked at him and saw the concern in his eyes and she knew she had scared him as much as she scared herself. Biting her lower lip she slightly smiled "Alright but if you two have any problem you better tell me." The two Elric men knew they were more than capable at taking care of kids. Edward decided that they had worked enough that night and he looked over to Al "I think I'm gonna call it a night Al. I don't want her to be alone." Al nodded in agreement as he smiled at Winry "Well then I guess I'll get some shut eye too that way we can start fresh tomorrow." Turning around to leave he said over his shoulder "Feel better Winry and I know I'm leaving you in capable hands."

After Al left Winry finally got herself to sit up as Ed changed into his pajama bottoms "Honestly Edward I'm fine now you could go finish what you were doing." He crawled onto the bed next to her "Oh no, I'm not leaving you alone for a second like this so you might as well get used to being pampered Mrs. Rockbell." Pushing the pillow behind his head he reached his arm around her and pulled her head to his chest "You need rest Winry you've been through some pretty emotional stuff these past few months. I want you healthy and rested so you can enjoy everything to come from here on." Feeling herself getting tired she relaxed against his chest hearing his heart pounding from what she knew was the freight she just gave him she closed her eyes and listened to his heart. After a few moments his breathing slowed and his heartbeat went from pounding to an even beat that put her to sleep.

Edward didn't sleep that much that night as he woke up every hour to check on her and as sound as she was sleeping he knew she was wore out. So he cradled her with his arm and leaned upon one elbow staring down at her face. Reaching up he moved her bangs some and kissed her cheek softly. She had frightened him to his very core when he saw her almost fall down the stairs. He knew she had to take better care of herself and she had pushed herself hard this past month. But what he heard next shook his to his inner being. She began crying in her sleep and whispering under her breath "My baby, my baby" He leaned closer about to wake her thinking she was dreaming till he saw her tears and realized she was recalling a memory. Watching her she began putting her arms up like she was defending herself or fighting someone off. Then she doubled down like someone hit her in the stomach and all he could do was watch in horror as she cried softly whispering "Why Greg? Why? Why did you hit me there?" Crying more she placed her hand down below her stomach and brought it back up and her eyes shot open as she sat straight up in bed "I'm BLEEDING! WHAT HEAVE YOU DONE?" Just then she woke up and Edward sat up next to her with a look of pure hate on his face. She realized then she had remembered her terrible ordeal unconsciously and out loud as a look of sheer freight crossed her face looking at his. It was then he reached out and pulled her to him "It's alright Winry I'm here now." Tears flowed down her face onto his chest as she cried "Oh Ed it was terrible. I lost my second child because he punched me." All Ed could do was hold her as she cried and if Greg would have been in front of him at that moment he would have snapped his neck. Glaring at the wall as she cried into his chest he held her tighter "I'm sorry Win I wasn't here for you then. But I'm here now and no one will ever hurt you again I promise." His mind raced with questions at this point _'What else had this bastard done to her? Did Mustang know about this and if he did why didn't he tell me?' _This was something he would get to the bottom of when he called the fuhrer when he got back to his office in a couple of days. Reaching his hand up he began to caress her head "Ssssh Winry it's alright." She began to calm some as he loosened his hug on her and leaned back "Can you go back to sleep or do you want to talk about it?" She looked at him with such hurt in her eyes that cut to his very soul "I have never told anyone about that Ed. I never wanted you to know but I see that's irrelevant now that you know."

Lowering his head not knowing if he should ask or if she wanted to talk about it he asked her softly "W-When did this happen?" She sat up and turned her head to the side not wanting him to see the pain it caused her to talk about it "It was three years after Alphonse was born. Al was three and Edward was five I was so excited because I wanted a girl. B-But that child never even had a chance to even figure out what it wanted to be. I was only a month pregnant when that night happened. I knew I shouldn't have pushed the subject of him being out drinking but I did." Edward's chest rose with the breath he took to calm himself of the pure hatred for this man he had just breathed in but his hatred had to fade because right now he needed to be there for her. Reaching his hand out to her chin he turned her face to his "Winry that was no reason for him to do what he did. It wasn't your fault he was a prick and he had no concern for your well-being." Pulling her to him "He should have never put his fucking hands on you." They sat there and talked for what seemed like hours as he made her realize that losing her child wasn't her fault for wanting to know something. She couldn't remember when her and Edward had sat and talked like they did that night without him telling her that nothing concerned her or she didn't need to know. He was there listening to her and supporting her through this terrible memory. He was talking to her with gentleness and love and he never once raised his voice or talked about killing Greg. But deep inside Edward there was still that kid who wanted to protect her and when he found out she never told anyone he knew Mustang hadn't known about it either. So that would be his first priority was to inform Mustang of the true evil this man had inside him and let Mustang deal with him. Edward knew if he even got close to the piece of shit at this point there would be nothing left of him to even identify the body. So after calming her down and telling her she was a wonderful person and no one needed to be treated that way. The million apologizes that left his lips about him not staying or telling her how he actually felt when he made the decision to leave. He told her something that he'd held a secret in his heart for a long time. Sitting on the edge of the bed he turned his face away from her "Listen Winry I have a confession to make. When I first met Windy I used to pretend she was you." Taking a deep breath he continued "I had told her about you and she knew that she looked just like you. I felt like a real dick sometimes doing it and I know she knew I had done it sometimes." He turned to her with tears in his eyes and she saw the disappointment he had for himself on his face "I haven't told you this and I should have told you this a long time ago." He took a breath through his nose and he cocked his head to the side "I love you more than I have ever loved anyone Winry. I'm not proud of myself saying this but I loved Windy but not the way I love you. Yes I loved her deeply but I love you to my soul and Windy knew that and she still stayed with me and married me. I feel like sometimes she felt sad for the way I told her things had turned out. She told me once that she had married me to make my dreams come true and I know realize she married me to make my dream of being with you come true." Winry inhaled deeply as she realized she probably would have done the same if the shoe would have been on the other foot and she realized then that Edward never replaced her he made a decision and maybe it was in the cosmic turnabout of everything that they were meant to be together or he would have never met Windy. It was a confusing screwed up situation. She came to the conclusion that they both had dealt with it in different ways. She had a bad marriage imprisoned by her husband's evilness and Edward dealt with it by marrying someone who looked like her and was haunted by her everyday keeping his feelings imprisoned for her deep in his heart. Yes Edward had a great marriage with Windy but was it her way of helping him deal with the loss of the one he loved. In a way she looked at it as she herself saved him on the other side by being by his side no matter how she knew he felt. She thought Windy was a lot like her but in a way Windy knew that Edward loved her but she put her feelings of that aside to be with him no matter what. Edward carried such guilt for what Winry had been through at this point and he never thought he could forgive himself. But that night as they talked they talked about all these things and by morning they were in a whole different place in their relationship and they both knew the others deepest most intimate secrets. Something that many years ago neither one would have even thought about telling the other. They had decided to put everything behind them and move forward and they had promised each other they would never keep anything from each other again. This was a clean slate and they wanted it built on trust, honesty, communication and love.


	19. MHIHChapter 19

My Heart is Heavy chap.19

After staying up all night and talking to Winry Edward had only gotten about an hours sleep but he didn't mind. As he got out of bed and got dressed he started for the kitchen to make breakfast. While cooking he had gone over their conversation several times in his mind and he had found something she said disturbing and he couldn't understand it till he started analyzing it in his mind. She had said that she lost her second child and that Ed was five and Al was three. Seventeen years was a long time and she would have had to have been pregnant between both her sons but she had told Edward they were already born that only made him think that maybe there had been more miscarriage's and she just didn't want to remember them. Thinking about it only pissed him off worse because he calculated that during seventeen years it could have been many with the evilness that bastard Greg had in him. He figured Winry had just shoved the pain and loss down deep and he knew there were probably more but he wasn't going to push it at this point. They had agreed to start fresh and he figured that part of her had closed that pain out and it needed to be hidden and he really didn't want to bring the whole painful subject up. The only reason he found out about the one was because she had unconsciously let it slip through while exhausted and he knew that when exhausted your subconscious takes over. He knew in time Winry would either tell him or just keep the pain buried but that wasn't good for her either. Almost burning breakfast he face-palmed _'I have to quit thinking about this right now'_ he thought grabbing the pan with his metal hand and pulling it off the stove "Shit!"

Just then Al walked into the kitchen and chuckled at the smoke pouring out of the pan and Edward's pure annoyed look "What's the matter brother having a bad morning?" Edward laughing cocky "Ha… ha… ha" turned and placed the pan in the sink and opened the backdoor to let the smoke out. Al walked to the coffee maker and poured a cup of coffee as he leaned up against the counter and lowered his gaze "I heard you and Winry talking last night." Edward stopped what he was doing as the muscles in his back tightened at Al hearing their conversation. But Al looked up and slightly smiled at him "I think it's good for you two to tell each other everything. You both have been through a lot Ed." Edward pulled a chair out and slumped down in it "Did you hear it all?" He asked with a tone in his voice that Al knew only too well. It was the tone of announce of someone knowing his inner most thoughts. Al sighed and walked over and sat down across from him and in his reasoning voice "Ed I'm sorry the walls are thin and I was worried about her and I didn't fall asleep right away." Edward knew Al didn't mean to ease drop so he placed his hands out in front of him on the table "I just can't believe what happened to her Al." Smiling softly Edward turned his head to the side looking away from Al "The only thing I can do for her is to be a strong person for her. I've always been here to protect her and-" Al cut him off in mid-sentence "You weren't those times. But Ed that's okay it wasn't your fault." Knowing if he'd made a different choice seventeen years ago things would have probably turned out differently "Yeah Al it kind of is." Edward felt such regret about his decision now that all he could do was thank God he was here for her these past few months or something terrible would have happened and he would have never known. Winry had a lot of things done to her the past seventeen years and all he wanted to do was make it up to her the only way he knew how and that was to give her the life she deserved in the first place.

Looking across to Al Edward sighed "Well I burnt the eggs so it looks like breakfast will consist of bread and bacon." Al sipped his coffee knowing Ed probably had something else on his mind besides the eggs cooking. Setting his cup down and standing up he walked to the sink "Well then come on I'll help you so you don't set the kitchen on fire this time." A slight smile crossed Ed's face as he slowly shook his head and chuckled "I think one burning of a house was enough for me." Referring to their childhood home they had burnt down when Ed became a state alchemist. After getting breakfast ready Edward made Winry a plate and took it up to their room. Opening the door he walked in and over to the bed sitting the plate on the nightstand. She was sleeping so peacefully as he stared down at her not wanting to wake her but he knew she needed to eat.

Turning and sitting himself on the edge of the bed he leaned down and kissed her lips gently twice. Finally opening her eyes she looked at him and gave him a slight smile "I didn't mean to wake you but I want you to eat something." He went to push himself back up from her and reach for the plate but she reached for him instead and stopped him by placing her hand gently on his arm. Feeling she needed to tell him the truth about the miscarriage's she had she sat up some in the bed. Lowering her gaze from his she began to speak softly to him "Ed I wasn't exactly honest with you last night about the baby." Lifting her eyes slowly to his and making eye contact with him "There was-"He stopped her right there "Winry I had already figured there were more but I know it must be painful for you to talk about it." Reaching over he took her hand in his and bringing his gaze back to hers "It's alright I already know so you don't have to tell me." She felt relieved and knew that he was smart enough to figure out what she had said last night but she was so upset she hadn't thought about how she explained it till many hours later. She knew Edward would figure it out and he'd put it together if he thought about it enough. Picking up the plate he placed it on her lap and his face cringed "I burnt the eggs because I wasn't paying attention." He lifted his hand and scratched the back of his head and gave her a cheesy grin "But we have bacon and bread." She slightly laughed "It looks great Ed thank you." He stood up and walked to the door but then stopped and without turning around "Winry I want you to know that I'm going to make the rest of your life happy and I know you're scared. I'm scared too but together we can conquer anything." Then he turned to face her "I want to make you happy and love you like you deserve to be. But if you have things you can't tell me that's okay too. I know we said we wanted honesty but some things are painful and I don't want you drudging up those memories if they're that painful right now. Sometimes we have to hold onto painful things and carry them with us. There will be a time when you're ready to tell me and I'll be here so don't think you have to rush it right now." Tears were welding up in her eyes as he slightly smiled "Please don't cry Winry I hate it when you cry and you know that." She threw the covers off and ran over and threw her arms around his neck "T-Thank you Ed for letting me hold onto this till I'm ready to talk about it." With her head snuggled under his chin his heart was hurting for her but he nodded as he slide his arms around her waist "You're welcome" leaning back and kissing her forehead he then gave her a stern look "Now back in bed with you." She let go and walked back to the bed and he turned to the room saying over his shoulder "I'll bring lunch later if I don't burn that." He shut the door, leaned against it closing his eyes and breathed out a long drawn out sigh. This was a delicate situation and dealing with it would take time. His jaw tightened at the thought of Greg beating on her, his metal hand clinched into a tight fist.

Just then he heard "Uh umm" coming from a small but persistent person standing next to him with her hands placed firmly on her hips. Melissa had woke up and walked into the hallway to see her father standing there looking a little distraught and uptight. His eyes opened and he turned his head slowly to look at her "Daddy what are you doing standing there?" Pulling his head forward from the door he smiled at her sounding very authorial to him. He turned and knelt down in front of her staring at her little hands placed on her hips and the determined look on her face to find out what was wrong. Smiling he began to explain to her Winry wasn't feeling well so she'd be resting today and he was taking her breakfast.

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him suspiciously "So you're upset cause you had to bring her breakfast?" Reaching his hands out and gathering her in his arms he stood up and started for the stairs "No angel I was just thinking about some things that shouldn't worry you okay." By then she was focused on getting to the kitchen and getting her own breakfast "Okay Daddy" giving him a huge smile that melted his heart.

Finishing her breakfast Winry sat the plate on the nightstand and scooted down into the bed. She began thinking about everything she had dealt with in her life. Feeling a sense of inadequacy and worthlessness she laid on her side '_What if I'm not good enough for him?'_ That question plagued her mind as she lay there thinking back on her marriage to Greg and her lack of inability to love someone truly. Did she honestly love Edward or did she just think he was her knight in shining armor that saved her from the evilness of her misfortune. She knew in her heart she had loved him deeply many years ago but after being married to Greg he sheer ability to love had been severed and with Edward walking back into her life she truly didn't know where her actual feelings started and her mind settling ones ended. Greg had stripped her of her dignity and self-respect for many years and she wasn't truly sure she could really love anyone after all that had happened. Hell she didn't even know what true love really was due to her experience. The way Edward treated her was all new to her, someone actually putting her first instead of them. '_What if I truly don't know how to love him? What if I'm not good enough for him? What if I make him hate me? Am I too needy? I'm damaged goods how can anyone truly love a mess like me?_ These were the thoughts that haunted her as she lay there and a single tear rolled down her cheek '_What if I'm not able to be fixed? Years ago I would have given anything to be with him but after everything that has happened to me I don't want to be a burden on his feelings.' _She felt as though if she continued feeling this way she would only put a strain on Edward's feelings for her. Her head began to hurt from thinking so much and she felt as though she had nothing to offer him except her broken spirit and wounded heart. '_Would that be enough or would it make him feel pity for her?'_ Closing her eyes and letting the tears flow out the sides she tried to sleep some before he came back. She didn't want him to see the blithering idiot she was feeling like. Her heart was torn right now in two directions, One was that she loved him but the other was could she truly give her heart to him after it had been so mistreated all these years. She knew in her heart he would never do anything to hurt her but still she had a fear of rejection and disapproval that had scarred her deeply. Being abused was all she knew and she didn't know how to accept love freely without being brutalized first. All she could see was Edward's smiling reassuring face, the gentleness he had towards her was the first time she had ever felt anything like it. She also had to admit the love making was beyond her wildest dreams, he was passionate and it unlocked a passion inside her she never knew she had. The once young prideful, selfish ego-maniac boy she once knew had grown into a very fine man.

Reaching her arm up to adjust the pillow under her head she realized that this was her second chance for love. Although she had her doubts she would have to tell Edward her fears but she figured he probably already knew. Her biggest fear was getting pregnant again, she had lost so many children with Greg's abuse that even carrying little Al was somewhat of a difficult pregnancy. Edward seemed like he wanted another child with her but she didn't think that was possible because after her last miscarriage the doctor told her it would most likely be impossible because of all the scar tissue from the miscarriages. Ah yes another way Greg had fucked her in this new life she wanted. Her eyes began to get heavy as she slipped off into a peaceful sleep.

Edward had got all the children fed and Al helped him clean the kitchen before taking a plate to granny. It was then Edward looked outside to see Steven sitting in front of a transmutation circle he had drawn. _'Is he trying to do a transmutation?'_ Edward thought drying his hands and walking to the back door to watch. Steven clapped his hands and transmuted a perfect horse out of dirt. Smiling his son had actually done it he began clapping "Very good son" Edward said as Steven turned around and gave him a thumbs up. He turned to watch his daughters practicing their moves with little Ed and Al. He laughed to himself because Little Al's legs were still short and he had to compensate for that with his kicks. But Edward had showed him how to use those kicks with some hand movements and he was getting them down really well. To the point now he could almost take his older brother down. Al came back from Pinako's room and walked outside next to his brother "Granny's resting now." Edward looked out over the horizon "How's the old bat holding up?" Smiling Al scratched the back of his head "Oh you know. She's tough as nails and stubborn brother." Edward turned to Al thinking that today they all needed to go to town because he had some things to check on and he also had to replace the eggs he burnt this morning.

Gathering the children they all set out for the walk to town. Edward figured they could go and be back by lunch. Getting to town Edward's first stop was a little church on the edge of town. After that they went to the community market place and gathered some eggs and other foods they thought they would need. He and Al had separated from the children. Edward was talking to a man that knew they needed a new school teacher and he offered because he had taught school on the other side. While talking to the man Al walked up and joined in the conversation telling the man how great a school teacher Ed truly was. Just then Little AL came running up to them "DAD! There a two boy's harassing my sisters in that shop. You have to come." He pointed to the general store and Edward excused himself from the man and Al and he went to find out what trouble his daughters were in. Getting to the door of the store it before he was able to open it two boys came running out screaming, bleeding from the nose and almost ran Al and him down. Giving Al a raised brow Edward opened the door to see his daughters wiping their hands together getting the dirt off them "That'll teach those bastards not to screw with us." Caroline said to Nina who was looking at the small hole in her dress "DAAAAMN IT! He ripped my dress. I should have ripped his arm off and beat him to death with it." Al chuckled and turned to Ed "What's that old saying Ed? Like father like daughters." Edward smiled slightly and walked up to them "You girls okay?" Both smiled at him with their hair array and clothes dirty like they had been rolling on the floor. The shop owner looked at Ed "Edward Elric is that you? I heard you were back." Ed smiled "Yes sir." He stared at the two girls "Are these your girls?" Edward smiled proudly and shook his head "Yeeees sir." He laughed a hearty laugh "I should have known. Boy they put one hell of a beating on those boys. They deserved it anyway." Edward looked at his girls and then patted their heads "I hope they didn't break anything?" He asked looking around at the mess in the store. The shop keeper smiled "Nah it was those boys who broke everything trying to get away from them. They were very well trained in fighting never faltering from their objective. They touched nothing but their opponents." Edward's gaze went to his daughters next to him "You fought well girls. I'm proud of you." He smiled saying goodbye to the shop keeper as they all left town and started home. He had lunch to make and not burn but this time he thought sandwiches would be good. He hoped Winry was getting some well-deserved rest today. That was his main concern was that she didn't over do anything to jeopardize her health and well being.


	20. mhihChapter 20

My Heart is Heavy chap. 20

Walking back to the house Edward looked over at Steven "Son you know you don't have to clap your hands before you do a transmutation right?" Steven laughed slightly "Yeah but it just looks bad ass when you do it father." Edward chuckled "Alright then we'll get you some gloves and put the transmutation circles on those that way you don't have to draw one." Steven was excited "Really?" Al laughed because he could remember when he and Edward began doing transmutations, then when Edward could do them by clapping his hands Edward had thought that was so cool he didn't need a circle anymore. Steven was his father's son Al had no doubt about that they were both excited by the same cool things.

Getting back to the house Edward made lunch and took a sandwich up to Winry. As he opened the door she was sitting up in the bed. So he smiled and walked in "Here I thought sandwiches would be good. At least I can't burn these." He said smiling a cheesy smile as she laughed then her laugh faded, looking up at him seriously she patted the bed next to her for him to sit down "Edward I have so many doubts in my head right now about marriage." She began to explain how she felt to him and he sat there and listened. Even though some things were hard for him to hear he still let her say everything she needed to. Then when she finished he gazed up at her slightly "Winry I would never make you do anything you didn't want to do. I know right now you're uncomfortable with this so I won't push it. But I do want to marry you and give you what you've never had. Not to mention I made a promise and I intend to keep it." His head slumped forward thinking of what Pinako had asked of him then looking back to her "But if you think now is not the time then I will respect that." He was a little heart-broken that she wanted to wait but in a sense he really couldn't blame her after her ordeal. So taking her hand in his he lifted her dropped chin and looked her in the eyes "There is nothing in this world that would make me love you any less. I will love you the same as I always have no matter what and you could never be a burden on my feelings for you." Leaning closer to her lips he slightly smiled at her "I have waited almost a lifetime to be here with you so if you want to wait a little longer then that's fine with me. I want you to feel comfortable with me, I know it's been a while and you really don't know this me yet. But in time I hope you come to love this me as much as you did the old me." Reaching his hand up and caressing her cheek "I love you forever and nothing that you or I have been through can change that." She looked up at him and smiled slightly as she felt a humungous weight lift from her shoulders. _'He's willing to wait till I'm ready and he's not mad. Maybe….just maybe this truly is what love is?' _Putting the plate with the sandwich on her lap he stood up and bent down and kissed her forehead "You are my life and I will respect and treat you as such." He turned and walked to the door and she stared at his shoulders as he walked away. '_Respect. What is it truly? And how do you treat one that is your life?' _ As he shut the door he walked downstairs feeling a little heart-broken that she wanted to wait to get married but he also knew she was in a very fragile state right now. So he shook it off not letting it bother him because if he thought about it too much he'd board a train to Central and beat the man who did this to a bloody pulp. He noticed his feelings were a little jumbled right now he was fighting that younger version of himself that jumped in head first to a fight, kicked ass and asked questions later. But this was not him now he had hung that up a long time ago so why now was that old person surfacing? He figured it had to do with the feelings for Winry he had shoved down so long ago. He had never properly dealt with those feelings and as they surfaced brought everything back up, even the urge to want to beat the crap out of someone who caused her pain or for that matter, his eyes lowered made her cry. But yet for some strange reason he was at peace with both ways he felt. One reasonable enough to know where she was coming from but the other wanting to stand and protect her from ever getting hurt again and when these two feelings combined he knew then and only then he would do anything for her to make her happy.

It was a few days later while Winry brought a plate to Pinako that the old woman broached the subject to her. She had seen that Ed was a little quite lately and she had spoken to him about it but he had just said that it was up to Winry. She knew that Winry was probably having second thoughts about marrying again and she wanted to make sure it was for the right reasons and not because she was just scared. Watching Winry open her curtains to let some light into the dim room Pinako set her plate aside and slightly smiled "Winry" she said softly "I know you have your doubts about marriage but I just want to see you happy." Winry turned smiling at the old woman "I know granny and Ed makes me happy. But there's still that nagging feeling deep in my soul of being committed to a person." Winry sat on the edge of the bed as Pinako leaned forward "You love him don't you?" Winry felt her heart feel with such love as she remembered the way she felt about him seventeen years ago "Yes but I told him I wasn't ready for another marriage right now." Pinako groaned "Uuuugh why would you tell him something like that?" She sat up more in the bed "Look girl he loves you more than anything and he would make a great husband and father. I know you have your doubts but Ed would never do anything to hurt you and I would have more peace of mind that you'd be taken care of." She put her hand on Winry's as Winry's eyes came up to meet her gaze "You deserve this girl, You have lived through hell most of your adult life and now you have a chance to seriously be happy with a man who cherishes and worships the very ground you walk on." Thinking about it a moment Winry smiled "He does, doesn't he?" Pinako shook her head yes slightly "You two are fortunate to have a second chance at this. So don't let it slip through your fingers because you're scared. That will pass as soon as you realize that Edward isn't Greg. He truly loves you for you, not just as a piece of ass." Winry's eyes widened at her granny's statement "Ahhhh, you didn't think I knew? I knew what he was the day I met him but who was I to tell you who to marry. You were so devastated when Edward and Al left." She smiled slightly "Give Edward a chance, you gave him your heart once without telling him and he left. Well he's here again so take this chance and see what life brings you. You're happiness is all I've ever wanted and he loves you're boys and would make them a great father and they adore him. I can't rest peacefully knowing you screwed this up too." Pinako wasn't really one for holding her peace she was too old and she wanted to see this before she died.

Knowing her granny was right Winry figured if put Ed off he'd get discouraged and just forget about her and go on with his life. For the past few days after their talk he seemed distant but what she didn't know was he was trying to figure out things in his head about living arrangements and a job. After all there were six children that needed to be taken care of. Edward wasn't one to get discouraged easily and he knew if he gave Winry some room she'd come around. So he didn't want to seem over bearing and anxious so yeah he busied himself with other things not to make it feel as if he was just waiting around.

Her eyes widened as she looked at Pinako "Granny I have to talk to Ed. I have to tell him before he thinks I don't love him." She leaned over and kissed her grandmother "Thank you" as he stood up and hurried out the door to find Ed. Pinako smiled as she sat back in the bed "Those two have a lot of problems Al." Al opened the closet door and stepped out. See he and Pinako had been talking before Winry came in and they didn't want her to know about it. Al lowered his head some "I hope Winry can trust brother enough to let him help her. He's not the same person that left and he truly does love her deep down. I also hope Ed can open his heart fully to her and she can help him. They both have spent so much time in a mental prison that they need to be free now." Pinako nodded "I couldn't agree more my boy."

Winry exited the house to see Ed sparing with the boys in the yard. She didn't even slow down as she flung the door open and ran down the steps "ED!" He looked up startled at her voice as she ran straight into his arms and he stood there stunned thinking something was wrong. "Winry what happened?" She was out of breath as she tried to say what she wanted but it came out jumbled "I…. love… you. I was…wrong I'm..sorry. Please don't… leave me. Please don't…. think…I'm crazy. Yes… I…. think we… should… get married." His heart filled with happiness at that moment as he leaned her back "I love you too, I would never leave you or think you're crazy and anytime you want to get married I would gladly marry you." She looked up through tear filled eyes "Really? You truly feel that way after I told you I wanted to wait." Cocking his head to the side he nodded "I would wait twenty more years for you to be ready." It was at that moment she honestly knew that he truly loved her. He was willing to wait any length of time for her even if it meant he would do it alone. Her eyes filled with tears again as he cringed at the sight of them "Winry why are you crying? You know every time you cry I think I've done something wrong?" She smiled brightly "No. No. Ed I'm crying because I'm happy." Lowering her gaze she said softly "I'm truly happy." Hearing that he pulled her into a hug and stroked her head "I'm glad you're happy Winry." That was the first true bright smile he had seen on her face since he had returned and he liked to see her smile.

A few mornings later Edward was awoken to gagging and as he opened his eyes he heard it coming from behind him. So blinking his eyes repeatedly he rolled over to see Winry with a waste basket between her knees and looking at the clock he saw it was six thirty in the morning. She gagged more then threw up as he sat up quickly and put his hand on her back "Winry are you sick?" putting her hand up for him to wait till she finished he rubbed her back gently as she continued her gagging. Finally she turned to him "Uh I feel a little queasy this morning." Getting up he went and got her a cup of water to sip on. Handing it to her he sat next to her on the bed "Did this just start?" She looked up into his amber gaze and slightly smiled "I haven't had a period in two months Ed." Letting his gaze drop Edward smiled slightly then looked back into her eyes "You mean you're pregnant?" She put the waste basket to the ground and turned to him placing her hand over his "The doctor told me I couldn't get pregnant again but from the way I feel…yes I think it might be possible." A huge grin crossed his face "T-That's GREAT!" he said joyously pulling her into a huge bear hug as she struggled to breathe "Uh….Ed your squeezing me." Letting her go immediately he stood up and smiled, "You need to rest today then" He felt like he was on cloud nine at this point. He was so excited as he leaned down and picked her feet up shoving them back in the bed and pulling the cover around her. She laughed at his excitement "Your truly happy aren't you Edward?" He sat down next to her and realized that maybe Greg had never been this happy about her being pregnant. So he softly smiled "Yes Winry I am truly happy this is a life we created. Children are precious and life is precious. Alchemists have never come up with a way to make a human being. Women are incredible to be able to grow a human." She thought back to when he was younger and smiled "Same old Ed always thinking about the scientific perspective of it." She didn't want to say she was for sure till she saw a doctor getting excited right now would only make her feel worse if she wasn't "I have to go see the doctor Ed to be sure. I could just have a stomach bug or something." She looked up at his smiling face and she herself couldn't be nothing but hopeful. She had wanted a life with him years ago and children. She laid there and thought _'Could it be truly possible for me to be pregnant?'_ He gave her strict orders she wasn't to leave the bed and sent Melissa in to keep her company and of course to tattle on her if she got out of bed. He figured they would walk to town tomorrow and see the doctor but for today he wanted her resting.

Caroline and Nina had joined Winry and Melissa in the room where they played several hands of 'Go fish'. Winry then noticed the hole in Nina's dress and they had to explain what happened in town. She didn't like hearing that the girls were fighting but then again these were Edward's daughters. Having Nina take the dress off Winry took a needle and thread and mended the hole. She handed the dress back to Nina who thanked her and put it back on. They had a great girl's day in Winry's room but Caroline and Nina weren't exactly stupid girls they knew there was something going on with Winry. Why else would their father insist on her resting today? They left the room and put their heads together and it took them exactly twenty minutes to come up with two solutions as they approached their father whom they noticed was very distant and quiet today, Like he had something seriously weighing on his mind .

Caroline walked up to her father who was sitting on the porch "Dad" Motioning to herself and Nina "We have been thinking" Edward always knew something was up when his children started a sentence with '_We've been thinking'_ so he gave her his full attention. "Nina and I think there's either something seriously medically wrong with Winry you don't want to tell us about or she's pregnant." Caroline had thought back to when her mother was pregnant with Melissa and Edward had made her rest a lot and stay in bed. Smiling at his two daughters he turned to face them "You two we're always very perceptive." He motioned for them to come closer "We are not sure yet but we're going to the doctor tomorrow but yes we think Winry might be pregnant." The girls eyes widened with excitement "Really?" Both said at the same time and huge grins crossed their faces. Nina hugged his neck then leaned back "You mean we might have another baby sister or brother?" Caroline smiled "Oh goody I get to be a big sister again and help with the baby." Caroline was always a big help to her mother when Nina and Melissa were born. She loved taking care of babies and she would change and feed them when they got old enough to eat regular food. Edward stared at both his daughters then put his finger to his lips "But don't say anything to the others till we find out for sure alright girls?" They both nodded in agreement "Mmmm Hmm." They skipping off together they both joined their other siblings in the yard to play.

"Never could get one over on those to huh brother?" Edward turned to see Al standing by the door. He had already discussed the situation with Al earlier "Nope" Edward smiled "Their minds work almost as fast as mine and sometimes that's a scary thought." Edward chuckled and beamed with proud fatherhood "But then again I'm glad they think that way because that will keep them out of tight spots later." Al walked out and sat in the chair next to Ed "I'm happy for you Ed. I'm hoping she is pregnant." AL lowered his gaze getting back to a sore subject he looked up "Did she ever tell you how many miscarriage's she had?" Edward lowered his head "No I told her she didn't have too because I saw the pain in her eyes Al and I didn't want her to drudge up old pain." Al inhaled deeply then sighed as he looked out at the children playing "That's good Ed I would hate to see her in more pain." Edward's head slightly turned at the tone in Al's voice _'What is he going to do?'_ Edward knew Al almost as good as he knew himself and if someone had caused Winry such great pain there was no ends to what the brothers would do. But he just let it slide without asking questions and sighed "Yeah I know how you feel little brother."

Just then Melissa jerked on Edward's sleeve and pointed to the doorway "I told her you'd be mad daddy." The she firmly placed her hands on her hips as her little antenna straightened on top of her head "But she wouldn't listen." Melissa was Edward all over again when he was younger she had a stubborn streak that concerned Edward with an attitude to match but he thought she'd grow out of it in time. He gazed up from Melissa to see Winry standing in the doorway as Al stood up from his chair "Sit here Winry." She smiled and graciously sat next to Edward as he stared at her "I'm sorry Ed I couldn't stay cooped up in the bedroom all day." He inhaled the fresh air which was filled with the smell of flowers blooming on this warm spring day. Reaching over he took her hand in his "I don't blame you it's such a beautiful day." So as they settled into the chairs on the porch to watch the children play she finally turned to him smiling "Ed" He turned his head to look at her "Yeah" She looked into his amber eyes and smiled "I-I-f we find out I am pregnant tomorrow I would like to get married then." Edward's eyes widened "Tomorrow? You want to get married tomorrow?" She stared at him "Uh is it a problem?" The shock of her words wore off a moment later and he squeezed her hand "No Winry it's not a problem I just thought you might want to invite more people." She looked up "I have all the people I want to be there right here." sighing a happy sigh he looked into those big blue eyes of hers "I'll take care of it." She smiled a huge bright smile and sat back in the chair "Thank you Ed." Edward figured this would be the beginning of their new life together and now all he had to do was wait to find out if she was pregnant. But would she change her mind if she wasn't, it seemed that it all hitched on her pregnancy and he was afraid if she was disappointed she would change her mind. But he was willing to endure that just to see the smile she had on her face at this very moment.


	21. Chapter 21

My Heart is Heavy Chap.21

It was early the next morning Ed, Winry and Al started off to town leaving Steven in charge at home. Edward told him they wouldn't be gone that long so to keep everything quiet for Pinako. Steven nodded "You can count on me father" Smiling Edward rustled his hair "I know."

As they got to town Al went to the general store while Winry and Ed went to the doctor's office. The doctor was surprised to see her there "Oh Winry is something wrong with you?" She slightly smiled "Yes I've been feeling a little under the weather lately. Can you give me a checkup please?" He smiled knowing the girl almost all her life then he looked beside her and his eyes widened at the golden haired man sitting there "Why is that Edward?" He looked up at the doctor and grinned "Yeah it's me." The doctor walked forward and looked him over "It's been a long time Ed. You look great." Smiling a cheeky grin Edward replied "Thanks." The doctor then turned to Winry "Well come in and tell me what's been going on." Turning to Ed she smiled as she followed the doctor into the room. Edward leaned his head back against the wall and raised his arms clasping his fingers behind his head. He sat there and became very anxious as the time ticked by _'God this is taking forevvvver'_ he thought but in actuality only twenty minutes had passed as he stood up and began pacing the floor. Just then Al came through the office door and seeing his brother pacing the floor he chuckled "Ed sit down you'll wear a hole in the floor." His uneasiness of it taking so long made him begin to think that maybe it was just a stomach bug she had. His heart began to feel heavy as he realized that maybe it was just false hope that they could actually have a child together. But just then the door opened and she appeared as he stared at her waiting patiently for the answer. She nodded her head yes slowly as a huge grin crossed Edward's face '_Yeeees'_ he thought as he walked over and hugged her tightly and the doctor appeared "Edward I want her to take it easy during this pregnancy due to the several miscarriages she's had." Edward nodded in agreement "Don't worry doctor she's in very capable hands now and that isn't going to happen again" he said in a protective voice. Smiling the doctor congratulated both of them "I'll contact Brenda and have her stop in from time to time to check on you. But if you have any problems return immediately Winry" He gave her a stern look. Al smiled as he walked over "Well then I guess you two will be getting married today right?" Edward looked at Winry and his eyes widened "Can you go with Al for a few minutes while I take care of something?" Smiling wondering what he was doing Winry agreed as Edward disappeared out the door. Her and Al were walking down the street window shopping when Edward caught up to them and he was all smiles as Winry gave him a confusing stare wondering what he was up too. "Come on lets head home we have some preparing to do." She smiled knowing deep down he had a surprise for her planned but it would exceed what she expected.

Returning to the house Edward and Winry sat the children down and informed them about the new baby. The kids were ecstatic with the news and they were also informed that Edward and Winry would be married today. They then went in and told granny the news and she was pleased with what they had decided to do.

Al and Ed busied themselves outside while they asked the girls to keep Winry busy and not let her come out. Edward wanted this to be as special for Winry as he could make it. They had spent almost all day outside and Winry was almost to the point of thinking they weren't going to get married when a knock came from the front door. When she opened it she was greeted by the priest of the church in town carrying a box under his arm. Smiling at Winry he took the box from under his arm "Here I believe this is for you." Looking at the time on his pocket watch "I hope I'm not late. Edward asked me to be here at 7:00 p.m." Winry gave him a confused look "Uh no it's 6:55 p.m. Wait Edward asked you to come at 7:00?" The priest smiled "Yes and he told me to give the box to the beautiful woman that answered the door." Looking at the box she was holding and knowing the contents the priest raised a brow at her "I suggest you go change." Stunned somewhat and wondering what could be in the box Winry walked upstairs and went into the room shutting the door. Sitting the box on the bed she bit her lower lip wondering what it was. Finally she took a deep breath as she reached her hand down and pulled the top off. Gasping at the contents she reached in and pulled out the most beautiful dress she had ever seen. Holding it up tears formed in her eyes as she stared at the dress. It had a lace strapless bodice that would fit her snuggly around the chest area where it then flared out some at the waist into a long flowing white gown. "Edward it's beautiful" she said softly as she began to undress and put it on. '_How did he manage to buy this?'_ she thought knowing full well he had no money at this point. It was about twenty minutes later when a knock came at the door. "Winry are you descent?" Al asked as she walked to the door and opened it. Al looked at her and smiled "You look beautiful." She stood back and looked down at the dress "Al how did he-"Al cut her sentence off "Winry you have to know Ed loves you very much so he traded his wedding ring from Windy to buy you this." She gasped "He what? Al that was all-"

Al interrupted her again, "He had left of her?" Lowering his head he nodded "Yes." Winry stood there stunned that he would do something like that. He had traded the only thing he had left of Windy to buy her this beautiful wedding gown. She figured that Edward had wanted to make her happy so even giving up something he cherished so much made her love him even more at that moment. Al walked forward and took her hand "He didn't know how else to do it and well he used the only means he had. Winry Ed would move the heavens and stars for you if it would make you smile." She lowered her head as a sad expression crossed her face "I understand that now Al."

Al pulled her chin up "Now is not the time to be sad Winry. You're getting married and you're supposed to be happy." She shook the sad feeling she had off and nodded her head "You're right Al." Straightening her back she took in that moment of what Ed had done and smiled at Al "I'm ready." She said taking his arm as he walked her down the stairs.

Walking outside Winry's eyes widened at the amount of work that had been done. Looking around she focused on all the flowers that were in huge vases that lined a walkway he and Al were now standing at the end of. She saw her granny sitting in a chair at the other end. It was dark out but the full moon gave enough light to almost seem like candle light. There were also candles lite and placed around in certain spots that gave a hint of romance to the whole outside. The children were lined up sitting in chairs across from Pinako on the other side of the flowers. That's when her eyes came to rest on the golden haired man standing next to the priest at the end of the aisle. His hair was flowing down to the middle of his back and slightly over his shoulders. He was dressed in a white button up long sleeved shirt that wasn't tucked in to his black pants. The top two buttons of the shirt were unbuttoned and he had rolled the sleeves up slightly where they were just below his elbows. '_Oh my god I can't believe he did all this?_' Winry thought as tears formed in her eyes. Al looked over and sighed "This is not the time to be crying Winry unless their happy tears." Caroline ran back from where she was sitting with a bouquet of beautiful wild flowers and handed them to Winry. As she took them Caroline smiled at the tears rolling down Winry's face "In a few minutes we will be a complete family mom." The girl smiled and turned running back up to her spot. Feeling her knees begin to shake Winry squeezed Al's arm tighter "I'm a little scared Al" as he looked forward "I know Winry but everything will be fine." he began to walk her to his brother. She looked around still stunned while walking towards him and still couldn't believe he had gone to such great lengths to make this as beautiful as it was. It was perfect she couldn't have asked for a more romantic, beautiful setting to marry the person she had loved her whole life and every little thing he said or did only made her love him even more.

Reaching Edward they stopped and Edward smiled slightly knowing Winry was surprised. Al moved her hand towards Ed's as he took it and he leaned close to her ear "Your beautiful Winry." She shyly smiled at him as her eyes gazed over his face "I can't believe you did all this Ed." Lowering her eyes "And your ring-"She looked back into his eyes then down to her dress. He swallowed hard and stiffened some taking a deep breath "It's alright Winry." She could tell it was still hard for him to think about but he was trying to hide it from her as he squeezed her hand slightly and gently smiled "Don't worry about it."

Pinako was all smiles as the ceremony proceeded to the vow part and the priest turned to Edward "I know you said you had things to tell the young lady." Edward turned to face Winry and as he stared into her huge blue eyes he gently smiled "I have to speak from my heart which I've never been good at so bear with me." She gently smiled and nodded. Looking up at the sky gathering his thoughts he just decided to go for it "Winry all my life you have been here for me and I never gave you what you wanted. You have shown me love and put up with my selfish ego maniac ways while all the time I hurt you deeply." He squeezed her hand tightly "From this day forward I promise you I will never hurt you again and I will love you with all my heart. Seventeen years ago I made a decision that affected both our lives and I want to make those years up to you. I promise to love you, respect you, cherish you, listen to you, NEVER EVER lay a hand on you and above all else listen to you no matter how crazy you think it sounds." His words echoed in her head as she listened to them, Tears weld up in her eyes as the priest turned to Winry "Do you have something to say to him?" Her eyes widened because she hadn't prepared anything but she knew Edward had spoken from the heart so she decided to try it and just tell him the truth. She looked up and gently smiled as she stared into that amber gaze of his "Edward I don't blame you for what happened and I know you love me more than anything. You have always been here to protect me. I made some bad decisions because after you were gone I lost myself, you were a part of me then you were gone. Even as children I loved you for who you are. You were my best friend and the love of my life in later years. To this day I know that all you say to me is true because you've never lied to me unless it was to hide something from me." Her gaze lowered and a sad look crossed her face "I was broken hearted when you left but deep in my heart I had to believe that someday you would return." Looking back to him "I have loved you my whole life, even your selfish ego maniac ways." His head cocked to the side as he softly smiled "Edward Elric you're the man that makes my heart complete and there has never been anyone else that could make me feel the way you do." She gazed at him out of the corner of her eye and gently smiled "Whether rearranging your brain cells with a wrench, or straightening out Al and your arguments I could never imagine my life again without you in it." It was then the moonlight caught what she knew was a tear that rolled slowly down his cheek. Seeing him cry made her heart skip a beat '_Is he crying because of what I said? Or is it I truly have made him feel emotion?' _Edward had never been one to show his emotions to anyone accept Al but here he stood in front of her tear flowing down his cheek. She had moved his soul with her words and she hoped he knew what she was saying because she really had no idea what she had said all she knew was it had come from her heart.

The priest continued to the ring part and reaching in his pocket Edward pulled out to wedding bands and held them out. Winry gave him a confused look and he grinned at her "I found two small pieces of metal and transmuted these. There not much but-"she cut him off staring at the plain silver bands, he had gone over the edge again and she bubbled over with happiness "There perfect Ed." He grinned at her approval of them as the ceremony continued he placed the silver band on her finger and she did the same and in a few minutes the priest pronounced them husband and wife and told Edward to kiss his bride. As he leaned forward and his lips touched hers she knew that from this moment on her life was going to be totally different in a good way. His kiss was soft and passionate something she had never experienced, there was a sense of completion and wholeness now in her heart, as if she had searched for these feelings for many years but never found it until now. It was as if the huge gapping; vortex sucking black hole in her heart was filled now with peace, love and serenity. As Edward leaned back from his kiss Winry slowly opened her eyes to look at him and she couldn't hide in her feelings anymore as she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly knowing now that she and he were truly one, she was his and he was hers. They were together one heart that beat for two and she felt they could conquer anything.

The rest of the night was spent eating and as all the kids went to bed. Pinako had also retired with help from Al. Then Al left to go visit Brenda while Edward and Winry began to clean up the dishes. She was still wearing her wedding dress and he walked over and took her hand and turned her towards him placing her hand on his shoulder "Mrs. Elric will you give me the pleasure of a dance?" She blushed slightly realizing that he was a romantic and that her life from now on would consist of things like this and she would have to get used to then. Placing her other arm around his neck she smiled brightly "I would be honored Mr. Elric." Raising a brow at her "No Winry, I'm the one that's honored that you would even consider giving me a second chance." At that moment she didn't want to think about anything she had been through she only wanted the here and now with him as they began to dance slowly around the kitchen. She was happy right now, she was married to the man she knew was her soul mate and she was pregnant with his child, something she never thought would ever come to pass. As he dipped her slowly and slightly she knew her life was complete right at this very moment. So dropping the past deep inside her she savored every moment of this night with him joyously feeling as if they were the only two people in this world that were this happy.


End file.
